The Bastardly: Simon Cowell

Simon Cowell
Mother fucker! I can’t understand it. Apparently, this guy is charming. News of the World reports on how such a sleezy bastard can be sleeping with hottie, Terri Seymour. Terri explains the pull (let’s keep in mind Simon’s a millionaire):

Terri, 30, sighed: “If I had a pound for every woman Simon has kissed since we’ve been together I’d be VERY rich.

“When I’m out with Simon women are literally throwing themselves at him— grabbing him, kissing him on the lips and then waving back at me. It’s bizarre.

“When I take his clothes to the dry cleaners, I empty out the pockets and find loads of phone numbers scrawled on pieces of paper—from MEN as well as from women. Constantly.

“But if I allowed my jealousy to vent at every single little thing I’d go crazy.”


16 comments
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jeff godown
jeff godown

simon may be an uncircumsized jew who suffers from penis envy. he knows as much about music as i do about childbirth. anyone can be born with a silver spoon, but why not make life better for some poor bastard, insted of kicking them when there down. record exects are SCUMBAGS as a rule but simon cowel gets off telling artist what they are not instead of what they could be. i no simon you think im a sap'ide rather stick turds up my nose than be you...

Francesca
Francesca

Has anyone noticed that his comments aren't even funny and don't even make sense. Yes if you're going to be horrible and shocking there had better be an hilarious pay off, which requires intelligence and a backward knowledge of logic. Think South Park or Sarah Silverman or Family Guy.

I love how Imus had to go to a reeducation camp for "nappy headed hos" and this guy gets away with "bush baby." Please, tell me why some redblooded red neck hasn't turned Cowell into a red spot on the pavement. And I normally love English guys.

Francesca
Francesca

Ruddy and chinless with man boobs. Who the hell is he to make fun of anyone? Why doesn't anyone ever give him a taste of his own medicine? He's probably a closet case too.

Dr. Phil
Dr. Phil

Simon is a dog. He barks. His dick is about the size of a vienna sausage and that's from the mouth of his girlfriend. Seeds of a bird.

jack simmons
jack simmons

SIMON HAS DONE IMPLANTS, HE'S GOT BIGGER BREASTS THAN MOST WOMEN. MOTHERFUCKER

Soma.
Soma.

Soma....

Soma....

ILOVESIMON
ILOVESIMON

SIMON COWELL IS A BABE I WANT HIM IN MY BED

I WOULD MARRY HIM RIGHT NOW

I WANT HIM INSIDE ME

LICKING ME

SUCKING HIM

MAKING HIM MOAN

OOOOH BABYYYY

YESSSSSSS

FUCK ME BABY

HARDER HARDER

AHHH YEHHHH

TAKE UR CLOTHES OFF

BUT LEAVE UR SOCKS ON

I WANA SNIFF THEM!!!

AND FEEL HIS CHEST

WHEN HES ON TOP OF ME

LICKING MY NECK

GIVING ME PURE PLEASURE

saula lover
saula lover

I hate You!!

I mean Terri, not Simon.

Simon's actually really nice, funny and of course, HANDSOME and HOT!

I could literally see that he's loving. remember back on AI2 n AI3?

did you see how he kissed, hugged and expressed his love for Paula Abdul?

L-O-V-E

don't talk nonsenses, such as 'he's a bastard or obnoxious' coz he's NOT!

forever he's NOT! Oh yeah, btw, Terri, Simon is waaaaaaaaaaayyy out of your league. stay away from him!

Jason Barth
Jason Barth

You got my vote. This is the worst I've seen Simon on American Idol this year. I mean when he told the black guy "You should dress up as a drag queen" defies brutal honesty. It's more rudeness than anything. I always used to view Simon as unbiased and impartail, but I knew I was wrong. He is extremely biased and partail to what he hears. Personally if I had ever met Simon I would'nt boo hoo like the rest of the contestants because we all know how big of a jack ass Simon really is and with age, He'll be even a bigger one since is is getting old and senial. So I just would'nt care. He's beneath all of us, and thats that.

Crazee Daisy
Crazee Daisy

I still think he's an ugly git! He is Not funny, just obnoxious. There is a fine line between funny and being plain obnoxious. I'm 26 and I don't find him attractive at all. I'm not picky either. Well, maybe a little, which is good. I can think of MANY older men who look better than him: Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan and Timothy Dalton. And that's only a few of the famous ones. There's also both of my grandfathers who I have pictures of. My dad, not so much, but he still looks better in the face.

kate
kate

simon cowell may be a bastard, but he is well funni which makes him very sexy, im 16 n i think simon is well sexy!

crazee daisy
crazee daisy

I think Terri Seymour is FUGLY! Simon looks like crap, too. Simon needs to buy Terri a new nose, an upper lip, and some BREASTS!! Maybe he can have his tits transplanted onto hers. All Simon does is tell people that they suck, but what can HE do??!! He rubs me the wrong way, like steel wool.

dodd
dodd

sexy muthafucker!

dodd
dodd

That's hot!

Moe
Moe

I'd wouldn't mind having manboobs if I could land some of Simon's ladies.