Posts from July 2014

Britney’s Homeless Hairstyle

Brit

Britney became yet another socialite with a Chihuahua. Surprise-surprise. This brings another variable into their relationship, so it will be interesting to see what role this simple Chihuahua will play in the downfall of Britney Spears.

Anyway, screw the dog. Notice Britney’s hair. Do these two just get up every morning with simple urges (i.e. frapicinos, coffee, Cheetos, puppies, etc) and then rush out the door with whatever clothes they have on?

By the way, we’re still waiting for Jen’s photo to compare whether she has better hair than Britney.

South Park Slaps Around Paris Hilton


Set your Tivos!

On the Comedy Central show, the girls of South Park’s fourth grade idolize Hilton, and each one owns Paris’ “very special toy set” – a kit that comes complete with video camera, night-vision filter, play money and losable cell phone.

When word reaches the girls that Paris might visit South Park, they try to impress their idol by getting the town’s boys to help make their own “videos.” [NY Post]

Episode #812 – Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset airs tomorrow @ 10:00PM!

Credit also goes to South Park X for this post.

Lauren from the Laguna Beach: The Real OC

Lauren LC
I know we’re gonna get hate mail for the photo above. I just couldn’t hold myself, damn it!

First of all, I have yet to watch one episode of this show. I don’t think I’ll have the patience to sit through it. Anyway, another photo follows with some lucky Asian dude w/ “LC” (what a lame nickname, by the way). Did he get her drunk & sleep with her? Judging from the tolerance level of 98% of the Asian community, I’d have to say that he was probably faded after finishing the drink he’s holding in the photo. The recessive Alcohol Tolerence Gene is the Achili’s heel of all Asian guys going for white chicks.

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Ciara: Smooth, Milk Chocolate

Ciara

Since I’m pretty out of it, I recently saw a couple of her booty shakin’ video on her website & my God, I was impressed! This girl reminds me a little of Alliyah, except she has a killer booty & an attitude to go with it. I can see Ush hitting her up once he gets his head out of his ass and realizes that he’s wasting away his youth with an abusive, old woman.

Everyone, except probably Steve, should check out her website & maybe watch a video or two.

Jackson first brought her up in a comment to a post that was centered around Beyonce & other bootilicious women.

Tommy Lee & His Hot Tutor, Natalie Reedman

It’s killer. You know, it’s… I never got to go to college, ’cause at 17, I got a recording contract with MÖTLEY, and I bailed. And so this is an experience that I never got to experience. It’s a lot of fun. There’s tons of hot chicks. And I’m actually learning — believe it or not — I’m actually learning and taking tests and I have a really hot tutor that’s helping me out. It’s all love. It’s fun. -Tommy Lee [Rat Daddy Vince Neil's Site]

Dude, the chick is not too shabby and I know we’ll see blurred out clips of Tommy Lee tutoring her in the art of making love to a man with a 3 feet long penis! Don’t lie to yourselves, girls. It’s perfectly alright if you’re looking forward to it. When they asked her why they chose her in particular to be Tommy’s tutor, she was like, “uh, I don’t know. I was like-like walkin’ around campus with like a bunch of friends & they like blah blah blah.” Ditsiness is so sexy sometimes! Check out the video clip @ Access Hollywood.

So has this guy left the university already or what??

Usher & Mistress Naomi @ Hawks Game

Naomi & Usher
Usher’s lookin’ pretty homeless. The bags under his eyes & unshaven face could mean only one of two things: Naomi’s already stressing him out or possibly too much sex & too little sleep (or both).

Usher, is your risking your life really worth the sex?! Her boney ass can’t possibly be that good!!

The Ultimate Stocking Stuffer: GloThong!

GloThong
Only a brotha could be so creative!

Being guys, it didn’t take us long to gravitate to them. My co-workers find it endlessly entertaining. Inventor, Beau Carpenter. [Houston Chronicle]

Yes, girls & cross-dressing boys. For only $49.95, you can light up a room with your thong! How sexy is that?! Apparently the thong is powered by the kinetic energy created by the movements of your booty. If you believed me, you’re pretty sad. Actually a couple rechargeable batteries power up the holy device & if for some reason you’re too busy having sex & forget to recharge your thong, no worries! You can charge it up in the car while you’re driving to your booty-shaking venue! Anyway, Beau Carpenter, the MBA student who invented the device, provides some additional wisdom:

I would not recommend driving and recharging at the same time. It’s really meant to be recharged off of the body.

If you want to bag a free Bastardly.com T-shirt, send a photo of yourself sporting this sacred thong! (Rules: Girls only. Please remember to take the photo in the dark, unless, of course, you’re completely nude. I’M KIDDING!!)