Monthly Archives: December 2004

Petra Nemcova Survives Tsunami!

Lucky Me!

The luckiest Ruskie in the world!

People were screaming and kids were screaming all over the place, screaming ‘help, help’. And after a few minutes you didn’t hear the kids any more.

I just tried to survive and tried to keep positive. There were so many people with horrible injuries, with blood everywhere. It was like a war movie. [Yahoo]

Supermodel Petra Nemcova & her Brit photographer boyfriend, Simon Atlee, were inside a hut on the beach in Phuket, Thailand (same place where The Beach was filmed) when a huge ass wave washed away their hut. Unlike her boyfriend, who’s still missing, Petra caught on to a palm tree (yes, the top of a fucking palm tree!) and waited for around 8 hours until she was rescued. Talk about an experience that will change her life.

Photos of Petra follow.

Make A Tsunami Of A Donation!

Have You Seen Me?

People are looting, but not because they are evil, but they are hungry. [AP]

60,000+. Dead. Gone. Forever.

Countless millions survived and are suffering right now.

On behalf of The Bastardly, I’ve donated $100 (all the T-shirt money earned) to UNICEF & Action Against Hunger.

You can also donate through the Network For Good website. The site is excellent for those of you picky people who want to know exactly who’ll be handling your dough.

A few more photos follow.

Pamela Anderson Joins Chihuahua Club

I wonder if that Chihuahua sleeps in-between her huge boobs?

It’s funny how last week Pam was with Paris & this week she bought her very own Chihuahua. Maybe next week Paris will come out with a new pair of boobies? I think Pam’s new Chihuahua and the Paris’ new boobies would nicely level things out in the superficial world.

Lloyd Grove Wants You To Hate Paris Hilton (Too)

She’s not in NYC going for an Alaskan vacation. She’s actually at LAX going to Jamaica!!

Lloyd Grove hates Paris.

It’s also possible this guy has cruel intentions of getting Paris’ attention & then blackmailing the slutty whore (sorry for the redundancy) into making one of those scandalous sex videos with him in the starring male role. Most people will think that he wants to do it for his own personal pleasure, but that’s not the case, my friends. Keep in mind that, Lloyd Grove hates Paris Hilton—with a passion. Just as the sex video shot Paris into super stardom and onto every adolescent boy’s computer screen, Lloyd Grove has a secret plan to use the same sex video to bring her boney ass down! Ooh, that Lloyd!! Always one step ahead of everyone!

Just what is this elaborate plan? Only Lloyd Grove & God know, but I’m sure we’ll know sooner than later. Now we just have to wait for Paris to bite!

In the meantime, please read Lloyd’s Hating Paris Hilton for Dummies article.

Just incase NY Daily ever decides to zap this article, I’m saving Lloyd’s classic list of reasons why to hate Paris Hilton as a reference for those who need to refresh their minds on why Paris is a skanky, spoiled whore.

Paris Hilton: The Skanky Scrooge

What did Elisha Cuthbert get for her 22nd birthday from her ‘friend’, Paris Hilton? Well, Paris was generous enough to fork over a few items, so let’s see…
1. Paris Hilton perfume (aaw, now Elisha can smell just like Paris)
2. Paris’ book, Confessions of an Heiress (It was autographed just incase Elisha ever wants to sell it on Ebay. You never know…)
3. Hello Kitty crap (I guess Paris ran out of ideas & didn’t want to lose money on her jewelry line)

Elisha Cuthbert is quite the PR person because she played it off nicely.

I went, ‘Of course you did! I love you!’ She’s the best. I love her. I love her to death. I thought, ‘You never know with Paris.’ [People Mag]

Rocker Maddox & Mommy Spend Christmas In Beirut

Angelina & Maddox

Accompanied by son Maddox, she has spent the past week taking in the sights and sounds of the cities of Beirut and Sidon. This is the devoted mother’s first ever visit to Lebanon. [Hello! Mag]

Once again, Maddox is the first ever winner of the Adoption Super Lottery. Earlier this year, there were rumors of a lottery held in Russia, but the excitement was mere gossip. Kids in 3rd-world countries around the world have their little fingers crossed in hopes that Angelina will rescue them from their painful existence.

In the following page, there are a few photos of Angelina & Mad’s Middle East trip.

ParanoiDiaz & Her New Life

Paranoid Diaz
She looks the other way b/c she watches all the videos when she gets home. This new anti-paparazzi thing has completely consumed her life. So sad.

Rumor has it that she has some sort of documentary up her sleeve. Anyone have any details? I highly doubt it b/c don’t you need some type of license before you can go around filming?

I just want to see how far she’ll take this protest. Maybe she’ll give up the movie business altogether? It seems the more she tries to run, the more they want to photograph her. Someone needs to tell Cameron to not take life so damn seriously. After all, look what happened to Princess Diana.

Michael Moore Feasts On Pharmaceuticals

Animal Moore
Is he morphing into some kind of new animal? Every time I see him, he’s 100lbs heavier and has 2x more hair on his face.

We have an image problem, not only with Michael Moore, but with the general public. We’re criticized on Capitol Hill and in the press – put in the category of the tobacco industry, even though we save lives. [The Age]

Aaaw. For some reason I’m not sad.

Anyway, I think Michael Moore has a hidden plan to get heavily discounted weight-loss drugs funneled into his gigantor bod. Or maybe he’s trying to blackmail the industry in trying to get them to expand research into more effective weight loss drugs? Who knows, but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with weight loss.

The article goes onto quote an exec giving his opinion on Moore’s previous documentaries.

His movies resemble docudramas more than documentaries.

I must agree. For the sake of his growing body and hairy face, we must stop watching his movies. The guy needs to be motivated to stop working so hard on his documentaries and start exercising (and shaving).

1 2 3 9