Anna Benson: Crackwhore Bitch!

Anna Benson
I am….Super Bitch! Fear me or I will have sex with everyone you know!

That’s exactly what Anna Benson will do if Kris Benson (Met’s pitcher) decides to follow the ill-advised path of adultery. And I quote, “I will sleep with all his teammates, coaches, trainers & then circle around to other teams if he ever cheats on me.” And at the end of it all, she was cold-heartedly serious!

Apart from Kris Benson being one of the richest whipped men in the country, I’d have to say that Anna Benson is the biggest bitch to appear in FHM in a while (she’s gotta a mini-layout in this month’s mag). Some of the other things she brought up…

1. She got Kris his $27 million contract with the Mets.
2. She is responsible for his success (from training to taking care of him at home).
3. She has had sex in every hole in her body (I’m not making this stuff up…).
4. She started a anti-terrorism charity that doesn’t really fight terrorism, but really helps Pennsylvania police buy body armor and shit for their vehicles. She takes pride in working this into his contract.
5. Once again, if he’s caught cheating she will humiliate him by sleeping with every baseball fan in the city of NY. For some reason she’s not worried about the additional humiliation that will cause her.
6. They’ve made around 30 sex videos in various hotel rooms around the city. She was pretty adamant in declaring that she’s the “STAAAR” in all the movies. Who else will be the fucking star?!! Whipped Kris Benson?
6. And finally, Anna doesn’t need a cut from the $27mil b/c her name is included in all his bank accounts.

But at the end of it all, she loves her husband. I think either Kris Benson will be murdered by this devil of a woman or this lady will die of a crack overdose. Or it’s possible she’ll overdose on crack first and then right before she’s going to die she’ll kill Kris Benson. Who knows what will go down, but the police better keep their eyes on this woman.

REMINDER TO ALL GUYS: Don’t forget to take a condom before hitting Mets games!

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12 comments
DrunkenF00l
DrunkenF00l

I'd tap that. Maybe for some extra fun I'd spin her around like a corkscrew.

rio
rio

She is the fugly bitch! If her husband cheats on her and she decides to sleep with the entire team I bet that half if not most of the guys would turn her down in a heart beat. She is mean and cruel, she's not even that good looking take off the designer clothes and add more hair product and eye make up and you have your average if not ugly second hand small town stripper! If there was any justice in this word there would be a pack of minks wearing her as a coat!

Moe
Moe

She was actually a mean, old stripper for a while. She said none of the men who came in to club liked her b/c she was so damn rude.

She's basically one of those smart conniving women who would cut you off on the freeway and then proceed to flick you off right after.

nicola
nicola

slept with minor leaguers

jacinthe
jacinthe

So, what did she do before she married him?

Jackson
Jackson

i hope the mets come play the mariners

nicola
nicola

black hearts are a dime a dozen these days- trying to hide it should be of the utmost importance for these wenches

Moe
Moe

she has a black heart---isn't that enough?

nicola
nicola

she needs a tan, chalky is out

mary
mary

First of all, her husband wouldn't be getting any publicity if she didn't run around and talk so in depth about their sex life and 2nd, I know someone who slept with her husband's teammates and all that did was make her look like a whore. Oh wait, Anna already does look like a whore.

Oh, and nice tattoo. *cough*

Heather
Heather

Wow. It's one thing to be apart of your husband's successes but it's another to go around bragging about it, as if he would be nothing without her. What a bitch.

He gots to show her who's boss. Smack her upside the head with a baseball bat or something.

nicola
nicola

one: shes not that attractive, ive seen better looking corpses

two: mets arent doing so well, so if "she" is the reason for his "success", she should sleep with the entire team, maybe theyll make it to a series