We can bullshit all we want about the break-up, but deep down we know & understand the truth. The truth of the matter is that Brad gave Jenny the boot and for that very reason we could see a myriad of scenarios play through, but the end result will undoubtedly be a period of great depression & heavy drug use. I’m sorry, Jennifer, but that’s just how it goes in Hollywooood.
Jennifer’s Initial Reaction (3-9 Months)
1. Hit the scandalous party circuit and whore herself until one day she looks in the mirror
2. Travel abroad, away from the paparazzi, and then whore herself to the rich until she looks in the mirror
3. Hook up with some old, rich dude “who loves her and takes care of her”
Long-term Damage (1-3 years)
1. Alcoholism (most common in the poor, but very possible)
2. Drugas (weed or cocaine. Most probably cocaine since she’s loaded)
3. Crystal Meth (not really. I just think that’s a super, hardcore drug)
4. Lots of plastic surgery – This is because she’ll have a internal-character crisis
5. Anorexia/bulimia – Same reason as in No. 4.
Following one of those, she’ll resurface with either a book or movie that will most probably flop since she can’t act if her life depended on it.
We wish her luck & a safe-safe journey to superficial hell & back! YOU CAN DO IT!