Sad, Sad Day: Jessica Alba Stops Sleeping Around!

Can you believe it?! I think a tear fell when I read that (it probably had something to do w/ the God-awful scan above). I never knew J. Alba whored herself around to every eligible bachelor in Hollywood. She slept around for the sake of ‘experiencing’ sleeping around. Here’s a snip from next month’s Cosmo in which she reveals some scandalous details.

I just wanted to see what it was like to be with different people. I don’t think a girl’s a slut if she enjoys sex. I would have a one-night stand, and I’m not the kind of girl who looks over in the morning and is like, Do you really have to be here? I don’t need to cuddle and do all that stuff because I know what it is and I don’t try to make it more. I feel like a lot of women try to make it into more, so they don’t feel so bad about it just wanting to have sex. I don’t really have a problem with just wanting sex. Never have. Even when I was a virgin and wanted to marry the first guy who I slept with, I never passed any judgments about that. But now I’m done [with dating around]. -Cosmo’s Interview in their March Issue

Damn Jessica for letting self-respect & her conscience convince her to stop sleeping with a new man every other week.

Now she’s dating some dude named CASH! Who names their kid CASH?! Maybe he went to the DMV & changed it himself so he could pick up on hot, rich, superficial broads?

Truly a sad day, I tell you. I didn’t even know that she was a virgin when she was with that Dark Angel co-star, for God’s sake! That bastard got first dibs on one of the hottest pieces of asses in the industry. It’s too bad (for him) that she left his ass.

Anyway, since this is such a tragic day, I’m going to follow up with a photo tribute of Jessica Alba. Hold back your tears, guys.

View All Photos ›

22 comments
mikel
mikel

alba have a ugly personality, she act just a slut in every movie shes in. And then shes cryin about this when peoples say she is a bitch hahah its so funny. sad sad alba

No More Alba! Please!
No More Alba! Please!

oh god make her go away

and another thing, She’s a bitch.

One of those women that think that their shit doesn’t stink?

A head the size of a small planetoid?

What has she done?

Dick.

Not ONE starring role to speak of

AND DON’T GIVE ME THAT “SHE’S YOUNG! SHE’S NEW TO GETTING ROLES!”

What happened? She can’t reapply her lipstick any quicker?

Name one, uno, f**king movie that she’s been in that has had you exit the motherf**king theater saying “good job, Jessica.”

DO NOT mention that she’s hot.

Catherine Zeta Jones is hot. (Oscar winner)

Reese WItherspoon is hot. ( Oscar winner)

Wanna know the difference?

JESSICA ALBA CAN’T F**KING ACT!

Am I saying she gets these parts because of her looks?

How do you spell “obvious”?!

instead of growing as bitch, maybe she should growing the f**k up first.

lol even better!

I’ve mentioned my hatred of her in a couple of previous posts, but somehow hating Jessica Alba has been a recent hobby on my part.

She’s a triple threat: an ugly, mean spirited, talentless “actress” who wouldn’t even have a career outside of Hollywood if people didn’t think she was hot, and she’s overexposed to boot.

I fail to see what’s so good about her, looks or talentwise. Being hot (which she is NOT, imo) is totally irrelevant if you can’t act worth shit, such is the case on her part. I’ve seen her horrid turns in the following films:

Idle Hands - First movie I’ve seen her in, and she couldn’t be a more perfect example of the type of actress who would go on to become famous for anything OTHER than her non-existent talent.

Sin City - I think I hated her more in this film than anything else I’ve seen her in, it just makes me angry to know how much better the ‘That Yellow Bastard’ section would’ve been if someone else had been cast in the role of Nancy. She was totally incompetent, giving an overall lifeless, wooden performance, delivering her lines most of the time without a hint of emotion (like how she is with EVERY one of her roles). But it was even more cringe inducing when she tried to emote (the overly sweet innocence that she disgustingly projects, the horrible smile plastered on her face at all times, etc).

Fantastic Four - Yet another crapper, but she had horrible lines to work with so I’ll cut her just a little bit of slack.

Those movies aside, I couldn’t even finish the trainwreck that is Honey, and I also hated what I saw of ‘Dark Angel’.

She’s done what, 4 to 5 unimpressive movies and a forgettable TV series that requires her to do nothing more than be ‘kickass’ and she already considers herself a ’star’? Her whole diva attitude is offputting, WHAT right does she have to BE a ‘diva’, where’s the talent to back it up and where’s the star quality? I certainly don’t see it in Alba. Zero talent, awful movies (except Sin City, but she was by far the worst thing about it), a lack of charisma (yeah, yeah, people like her because of her face & body, but is that really enough for someone to achieve star status?besides, theres NOTHING special about her body whatsoever), etc. There is absolutely NOTHING worthy about her.

My advice: Take acting lessons, grow the fuck up and strip away the ‘holier-than-thou’ attitude or you can just shove your bullshit fame, money, ugly publicity stills up your ass for all I care.

So, yeah, to summarize, I HATE Jessica Alba! Hate hate hate hate hate her. Hate her. Hate that fact she continually gets roles based solely on her looks, hate the fact she acts like a fucking prima donna when she doesn’t have even have the abilities to back up her little diva attitude, hate the way she delivers her lines, hate the fact that her lack of range and emotions could STILL get her recognition from critics and audiences alike, etc. etc. etc.

There are plenty of young actresses these days with a sufficient amount of both talent and looks, namely Scarlett Johansson, Rachel McAdams, Reese Witherspoon, and Natalie Portman. Alba could learn a thing or two from them.

Hanju
Hanju

her skin is flawless! Its beautiful

lostcauselessness
lostcauselessness

I agree most heartedly that every woman has the right to her own sexuality and in fact the more independent a woman truly is the more attractive she becomes from my perspective. All superficiality aside it’s about confidence and appearance not just appearance alone. However, in the case with Jessica . . . well we are all social-sexual beings but it doesn’t mean we have to advertise it. I think the operative term of whore here is refereeing to her lack of discretion; she sounds like a whore therefore she is a whore (bullshit). I don’t know her and I’m pretty damn sure that no one else here does either so how do we know what really goes on in her life – after all is it really all that bad to be over sexed – I know it doesn’t bother me.

I did date a girl who looked like a splitting image of Jessica (so I feel some odd connection to this story) with really low dimples (odd but attractive) and after we broke up she made her rounds so to speak – so be it - I’m not throwing my judgment around at her but I also don’t have to sleep with her ever again either. I say take it easy with your judgment and focus on your own life – oh and if you really have great game then you don’t ever need to talk about it – keep it discrete.

nomorediets
nomorediets

Why is it that when a woman wants to have sex she's a whore. Please enter the new millenium. She is a grown ass woman in Hollywoood. If she wants to fuck everything that moves.............Let her do her thing (I'm sure if every last one of yall was given the opportunity to fuck who you wanted when you wanted you'd be having a lot of crazy, possibly great sex!).....maybe for the people who are calling her a hoe needs to fuck a little more so they can stop hating! By the way..............If she's a whore, all of Hollywood is a whore because they All fuck a lot..........Damn America.........Would you grow up already!

angelica
angelica

PEOPLE SAY I LOOK LIKE JESSICA ALBA AND I GET ALL JUICE,BUT THEN AGAIN THEY SAY I LOOK LIKE ANGELINA JOLIE. I'LL TAKE IT AS A COMPLEMENT!!! JESSICA ALBA AND ANGELINA JOLIE KEEP ME POSTED ON UR HOT LOOK SO (ME)UR LIL SISTER CAN COPY UR STEELO!! THEY CAN KEEP ON HATIN AND WISHIN THEY HAD US AND THINKIN WE GOT SOMETHIN BUT THEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT OH YEAH THEY BE THE UGLY ASS FOLKS WHO LIKE TO TALK TRASH DOWN TO THE THE RICH AND BEAUTIFUL HIGH MAINTENANCE PEOPLE HATE US BECAUSE THEY WANT US OR WANT TO LOOK LIKE US BUT NO IT'S ALL NATURAL LOOK NO COSMETIC SURGERY IT'S PURE BEAUTY . ONLY UGLY PEOPLE GET ALONG WITH UGLY PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY'RE UGLY AND JEALOUS AND TALK SHIT TOGETHER ABOUT PRETTY PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO,IT'S NOT OUR FAULT WE WERE BLESS WITH BEAUTY!!SO SAD A GUY OUT THERE IS CLAIMING SOMEONE ELSE'S BOOTY NOWING THEY DIDN'T HAVE IT IN THE FIRST PLACE THAT'S FUNNY SOUND SO RANDOM!!WHAT HAPPEND TO REST OF FACE ONLY THE EYES WERE REVILED THAT'S HOW UGLY HE WAS DIDN'T WANT HIS FACE ON THE SCREEN TIPICAL LOSERS ALWAYS TALKIN LOAD OF BS!!!!

angelica
angelica

WHO EVER IS MAKE BAD COMMENT'S ABOUT JESSICA ALBA IS A MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!!

angelica
angelica

I THINK UR FULL OF CRAP AND U SHOULD JUST LEAVE JESSICA ALBA ALONE AND QUIT STALKING HER!!!! JUST LET HER LIVE HER LIFE, JUST BECAUSE UR A LOSER AND SHE'S NOT, IT DOESN'T GIVE U THE RIGHT TO PLAY GOD WITH UR BULL CRAP STORY!!! GET OVER IT, U BIG LOSER!!!! I THINK U SHOULD MOVE ON AND QUIT MAKIN A BIG DEAL OUT OF NOTHING!!! I THINK UR JUST BOOTY HURT SHE DIDN'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP!!!! AND WHO EVER THINK SHE'S UGLY IS JEALOUS!!!!JESSICA ALBA CAN DO ANYTHING WITH HER ASS AS SHE PLEASE'S IT'S HER OWN ASS,SO WHAT IF SHE A SLUT,EVERYBODY IS NOW A DAYS,UGLY ONES FAT ONES EVEN FAKE ONES,EVEN CHURCH ONES ARE SLUTS DOESN'T MEAN U GOT THE RIGHT TO KILL THEY'RE DREAMS SO WHO CARES ABOUT THEY'RE NATIONNALITY.IF ANYTHING SHE INNOCENT TO A CRIME OF HATE!!!!!!!!!! I THINK UR LYING BECAUSE UR UGLY AND SHE IS JUST BEAUTIFUL FOR U AND OUT OF UR LEAGE.

angelica
angelica

I FEEL SORRY FOR U,BECAUSE UR HATIN ON THE FACT SHE'S A SOMEBODY AND UR NOT!!!!! GET OVER IT DUDE, BECAUSE SHE DID!! I'VE GOT TO SAY SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL FOR A SLUT. MOST SLUTS I KNOW ARE UGLY AND FAT.

NYC BOY
NYC BOY

vito, that link really showed me how fat she is! i see her in the village all the time when shes here for ‘movies’ because shes so talented ( caugh-slut! caugh-overated! caugh-lacking talent! ) and she looks like a homeless person. a homeless person whos FED WELL!!!!!! besides shes indian and mexican and if anything stinks its them,everyone knows its a cross of BO and rotting animals. so that bitch got both ends of the stentch (gene) pool.

VITO
VITO

SHES SO FUCKIN UGLY LOOK AT HER HONEY PIX ITS SO OBVIOUS SHE SPAWNED FROM ROSIE PAREZ AND LUTHER VANDROSS. WHAT A FUCKIN LIAR! SHES A TOTAL WHORE, SHE FUCKS EVERYTHING THAT WALKS IF IT MEANS SHELL BE IN THEIR FILMS! ALL I GOTTA SAY ABOUT THIS SHIT IS THAT I FEEL SORRY FOR WHOEVER STICKS THEIR CANOLI IN HER HALLWAY, CUNT COULDNT FEEL A THING, BUT YOUR PECKER WILL ONCE IT STARTS LOOKIN LIKE A HAMBURGER AFTER SHES PASSED ON ALL HER STD TO YOU. GIGGETY GIGGETY GOO, I AM VITO, AND SLOBBA IS POO (P). DONT LIKE MY OPINIONS ABOUT SLOBBA? FUCKIN SUCK IT AND SWALLOW

Snoop Dogg Had Sex With Jessica Alba! Damn Him!! -
Snoop Dogg Had Sex With Jessica Alba! Damn Him!! -

[...] I just wanted to see what it was like to be with different people. I don’t think a girl’s a slut if she enjoys sex. I would have a one-night stand, and I’m not the kind of girl who looks over in the morning and is like, Do you really have to be here? I don’t need to cuddle and do all that stuff because I know what it is and I don’t try to make it more. [Cosmo - Check this earlier post] [...]

hermanita
hermanita

Well, she's not a good actress. She plays only in the crappy movies, because producers know that guys will go to see them just cause of her. But she is very pretty and I never knew she was a slut. A bit of a shock here. I would've slept with her, but I have boobs and a vagina and don't think she digs that. Now that sucks (for me)

Tarheel
Tarheel

Jessica Alba is the most wonderful actress! I hope she finds happiness!

JCRogers
JCRogers

I wanna know when she had that mole installed.

I swear that thing wasn't there in the pictures from two or three years ago, but it's quite prominent in more recent pics...

Blokey dude
Blokey dude

Keep up the good work. Ms Alba does make a tasty dish for the eyes, lets just hope she never gets any decent acting roles so she keeps showing more flesh!!!

The Bastardly
The Bastardly

[...] e rules. [Female First] Phew! It’s good to hear that J. Alba didn’t become an upscale, Hollywood slut until she was 18. How nice o [...]

flyno20
flyno20

11 pages of Jessica Alba = Genius.

flyhive.blogspot.com

Lissa
Lissa

She looks great on page 9. I've never seen anyone pull off blue eye shadow like that. She's a hottie!

Jackson
Jackson

man...hey, i remember the first seasons she was on Flipper and in her opening credits she'd be Jessica Marie Alba.... then they like got rid of the whole cast except for her for the next season.... god, Flipper was some fine quality entertainment.

Moe
Moe

hahaha! yes. kinda gross, but it's a tribute, so we can't deny them. Plus, flipper was on ages ago!

Jackson
Jackson

So.....if I'm reading this correctly....if say I was so fortunate enough to kick it one night w/ Ms. Alba and either a) get her plastered or b) win her over w/ my chinese charm (preferably scenario a) I'd could've had wild meaningless sex w/ her and just leave after i was finished?!?!??! GODDAMNITTT!!!!! How could I be so unfortunate?!?!?!

page 6 and 9.....yes!!!

dude...are those screen caps from when she was Maya on Flipper?!?!?