Posts from August 2014

Mandy Moore Secretly Does Porn

Ok this post has been sitting around, so why not, right? Just a few more bastardly hours left, so enjoy!!

These days everything is sexual—from the most basic ads selling softdrinks to straight-up softcore Carl’s Jr. porn (yes, the one in which Paris has an orgasm as she dives into a juicy Carl’s Jr. burger).

In line w/ Paris’ video, Many Moore attacks the print media. Mands & her perverted photographers tried to slip this shoot by us, but since we have such keen sense for all that is perverted, we bring you these secretly hardcore photos. For the innocent few (mainly the 10-year old Aaron Homo Carter fans), please (try to) read various notes on each photo as a helpful guide.

View All Photos ›

Jeaneth Goretsky Gets Scandalous In Miami


Straight out of the ghettos of Colombia comes a young designer named, Jeaneth Goretsky.

I don’t know whether it’s her designs or the women sporting the designs, but there’s something truly sexy about what I see.

To the displeasure of hotties in the States & Europe, only Colombian residents get to enjoy the fruits of Jeaneth’s fashionable labor.

Cheers to Ms. Goretsky’s future!

View All Photos ›

Body Double: Carmella DeCesare & Eva Longoria

Since we’re going down for a bit, I figured I’d leave a sweeter memory. What could be sweeter than a Eva Slutwhoria & PMOY Carmella DeCasare. It appears as if Carmella recently snorted one too many lines of coke @ a Playboy par-taaay & decided to get implants. It’s also possible she’s boning a plastic surgeon & he gave her the upgrades for free, but regardless, what the fuck?! Why is it that women rush to ruin perfect boobs?

Anyway, I digress. Let’s get back to the body double @ hand. Actually, let me make one more point. Even though both these women have slept with almost half of Hollywood (Eva probably more than Carms), I wouldn’t mind spending a night (or two) w/ the two (together, of course). I just have to remember to double bag my goodies before diving into either tunnel of love.

Ok, now for the body double. You have to be blind to not notice that Carmella is trying to ride the whored-out Eva wave. Carms should just star in a pornified Desperate Housewives already. What could be some possible porno names for the new flick? Don’t think too hard, now.

For eye-candy purposes, here’s a small collection of photos showin’ off Carmella’s new boobsies! I have to admit, she looks super hot!!

See you in a couple weeks, my lovelies!

View All Photos ›

DC = Awesome. Bastardly.com = Going On A 2 Week Vacation!!!

This is not the post I wanted to make after an amazing weekend, but it is what it is.

I just learned that it will take around 2 weeks for Bastardly.com to come back online once it goes down in a couple days. The Bastardly server is moving from a rental property into an amazing new house, so we’re naturally very happy (for our server & its humble owner).

I guess now we’ll have to find something to do while we’re @ work. Damn it.

Posting Dry Spell
The lack of posts is a result the impending downtime. I want to keep a proper backup of the goods before we go on our summer hiatus.

Why is everyone Crazy for Aaron Carter?

I only really have three reasons for posting this topic.

1. I want more hits on our site

2. I want to piss off Teeny Boppers

3. I feel like writing something (since I’ve been away for so long and I decided to stay home from work today)

With that said, I had to do some research on why everyone is so ga-ga over Aaron. This is what I found:

View All Photos ›

Off To The Ghettos Of DC!

Wedding bells are ringing, so I’m heading out this afternoon to the nation’s capitol.

Let’s hope Missy’s inspiration comes roaring back! If not, enjoy designer sets from fashion shows in Buenos Aires, New York & Miami! Girls, please take our suggestions seriously as we sincerely care how you strut your goods.

Remember to go out for a weekend jog & of course, pay a visit all our cool 3rd Party Blogs! We love them & so should you!!