Mariah Carey Blends Sluttiness & Bad Style

The high-class whoring business is an art form, I tell you.

Mariah’s Dress: Where sluttiness & design ingenuity make love.

1. Mariah’s dress is designed in such a way that she can let powerful music industry execs play suckie-suckie on her boobs while her back is turned to the rest of the crowd
2. Color scheme will allow her to stand out among competing whores
3. Front & side boob exposure maximized in order to attract powerful, horny men in the industry — from all directions!

Here are a couple more for all you executives contemplating whether to call up Mariah for sexual playtime.