Asslee Turns 21 & Returns To SNL!


Ass doing her best Paris Hilton Pose.

I used to use my sister’s ID, which is really lame. They were like, ‘Jessica Simpson… You’re Jessica Simpson?’ And then I used to have one that said, ‘Luanne’.

But then there came a point where people were like, ‘You’re not 21 and I know that.’

People drink like in high school and stuff, but you can’t gamble… I don’t even know how to play (poker). I don’t even care about gambling. I just want somebody to tap me on my shoulder and say, ‘Can I see your ID?’ [Ass, Female First]

Ok, I’ll pretend, like, I didn’t, like, just read that.

Also, in other news, Ass is scheduled to invade SNL once again. I can’t believe SNL would ever sell-out so badly. With her scheduled return, the song Ass will sing is called, Beautifully Broken. Deep. Real deep.

The song is about it’s okay to mess up, that it’s okay to do bad. It’s very normal, actually. [SF Gate]

I wish I could go on SNL, fuck up, then be compelled to write a song about my fuck-up & then return to SNL so I could sing my Post-Fuck-Up inspired song. I guess those are the perks of being Daddy’s little whore!

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21 comments
hermanita
hermanita

Both of the Simpsons sisters have hook-like noses aswell.

Andrew
Andrew

I think Ashlee is hot right now!! i love her new song!!! And i will buy her album too

you guys suck, have you even ever been to her concerts, she sounds amazing

Bombaclaad
Bombaclaad

Both of the simpson sisters have big, plumber-esque, shit stained, BUTT-CHINS. (Cleft)

Harvey
Harvey

The boyish facial features would surely help her land the lead role of Peter Pan on Broadway - if she could sing.

sasssysasha
sasssysasha

Awwwwww, thank you Bastardly....I was having kinda an ugly day myself with the gloomy weather and PMS'ing until I saw A. S. And even the drag queens I've seen look better than her, she's frickin bugly as sin...butt ugly.

kelly
kelly

i dont always agree with the peeps on this site but i always respect what they have to say i think she does have a big nose and weird chin still i think she can be really pretty somethimes! I like her she is kindof different

Tammy
Tammy

That would be so fucking funny. I might tune in just to see if that really happens. I would love it! She would probably kill herself immediately afterwards if that happened.

gia
gia

maybe we will all be lucky & she will somehow fuck up another "fine" performance.

z0mb13
z0mb13

I would like to punch her in the vagina for making me look at her face.

I will be retching all day.

Thanks, Asslee.

phaedon
phaedon

THERE'S A VISINE FOR THAT!

Maria
Maria

Oops... Used her nose to drill a hole on Wilmer's... Aw, forget it, she woulda made a bigger hole...

Maria
Maria

I think Asslee used her nose on Willmer's forehead so she could scoop out his brain and keep half of it and give half to Jessica... She should have used her manly fingers and pulled it out through his nostrils.

BellyBob
BellyBob

More forehead red imprint possibilities:

4) She bit him.

5) She kicked him during one of her impromptu hoedowns.

glimmer
glimmer

yeah but simpson role model points for todays youth go up a few points. she does admit to using fake id's...good enough for ash good enough for 'the kids'. let the scams continue...

Rob
Rob

Ashlee is very unfortunate looking.

Cynthia
Cynthia

I can't stand looking at this chick. I think it really IS the chin! AAUUGGHH!!

Capt. Tripps
Capt. Tripps

Holy Shit! What the hell happened to her? Looks like she's 35 already. I personally don't think that she (nor her sister for that matter) are cute. Looks like someone took a mellon ball device to their chins to make that god damned dent. JESUS! WHY???? WHY THE HELL ARE THEY FAMOUS??????

Tammy
Tammy

And we thought Paris had a hooklike bird nose? Look at Asslee's. All I can think of is Froot Loops Cereal and TwoCan Sam.

Katie G
Katie G

ASHLEE SUCKS, she cant sing or act, shes not even pretty the only "talent" she has

can be created in a recording studio, thats not her- shes so fake

i think one of the reasons i dislike her is because she became famous because of

riding her sisters coattails- she & her father used jessica to make themselves rich.

she didnt earn anything (HA she even admits to using her sister)

Tammy
Tammy

I didn't know that Asslee was a recent graduate of Paris Hilton's Slut School. She has got that pose down pat.

As for the pic of her and Wilmer? Well the red imprint on his forehead could be a few different things:

1 - Some sort of sick outbreak from the VD he caught from Asslee or Kim Stewart or Lindsay Lohan

2 - Another well learned lesson taught at Paris Hilton's Slut School...How to mark your territory

3 - Lindsay, in a fit of anger and jealousy, clubbed Wilmer with that bottle of wine when she saw him posing with Asslee.

My vote is on choice number 1!