Eva Longoria: Undeniably Hot (But Still A Whore)

I know I give this lady a lot of shit for sleeping around w/ everyone with a decent sized wallet, coupled with a Hollywood network. Her scandalous life is perfectly fine because you must learn to play a little dirty in order to achieve tremendous success in the entertainment industry (assuming you’re not already born into some powerhouse family).

As the bastardly saying goes, “if you chase money, you will eventually find power.” In Eva’s quest for power, she recently slam-dunked herself into Tony Parker’s heart. Since we all know this won’t be one of those lifer-relationship, what’s the over/under on her engagement/potential marriage?

While you guys think up a number, here are two super hot photos of Eva. I bet the lucky photographer got a piece following the shoot! Damn you!!!

View All Photos ›

49 comments
Stoney
Stoney

Definitely NOT Overrated. I am the definitive source on hotness. This bitch if fuckin hot, real fucking hot. I mean, hot as the fucking sun, yeah, that is what I mean.

Stammy
Stammy

She is not bad looking for a TV personality

Mike
Mike

EVA I hope she realize she acting like a whore. It is like the Whodini Rap song - "I'm A HO You KNow I'm a HO !!!!!!!!!!!!! I got 3 different freaks after every show.......plus I doubt any church person agree with that life style , plus she keep sleeping around she will catch a disease of some kind like the clap, gonorea , Hepititis, or aids and yes a person can get some diseases just by kissing alone.....so a woman and man can -catch something without a condom.

Varian Gray
Varian Gray

Eva should be my babies momma (if i had any).

linakova
linakova

flat hair with no style. she takes showers regularly now, she's not a beast and she now has a bigger bank roll ... big whoop-de-do!!!

Eureka!!!

justlikehoney
justlikehoney

kelly rippa is a freak of nature. after squeezing out her zillionth kid, she still has the body of a prepubescent boy. wtf? for a while there she was cute and curvey and sexy, but now? no no no. make it stop.

coleen
coleen

Sorry but I dont think its attractive when ur too thin. Example...Kelly Ripa..she was drop dead gorgeous and Beautiful a couple of yrs ago until she became anorexic looking. Its gross when ur too skinny and it is NOT attractive. Like wise I dont like my men to be too thin....most women dont....its not appealing or sexy.

Eva is pretty good..she is not too thin..but is too flat chested. If she had bigger boobs she would be outta this world stunning.

justlikehoney
justlikehoney

i have not seen pixs of aroma, but GET ME A VALIUM QUICK, you just mad me spit up my coke. lolol, yr funny.

justlikehoney
justlikehoney

AROMA- i have no idea what you look like and im sure youre lovely, so this is nothing against you, but everyone and their grandmother is a "model" nowadays, and a lot of them look like crap on a spoon, so saying you're a model is really sort of a moot point.

Scrumpy
Scrumpy

Aromia, do you smoke it regularly?

Nemo
Nemo

Aromia,

I am just wondering how old you are? Care to enlighten us?

Aromia
Aromia

haha you are jealous...ask any of the bastardly peoples.... i am HOT

Get Me A Valium Quick
Get Me A Valium Quick

Jesus, Aromia, You are dense. They were trying to spare your feelings. Let me help you to understand. And please, for the love of God, try to pay attention. Here we go:

"Send better pictures." REALLY meant: " Send pictures of a different person. An ATTRACTIVE person."

"Aromia, don’t take what I said the wrong way". REALLY meant: "The truth hurts. I hope you don't kill yourself."

"We think you’re exotic, sexy & hot too, alright—just in your own way". Really means: "You know, kinda how Sea Cows find other Sea Cows really hot and want to fuck them? Like that. Except you're a Sea Cow, and we're regular dudes."

"There’s is nothing wrong about that." Really means: "If you're a Sea Cow, which you are. But, again, we're not."

" It’s just that maybe the photos you’re sending us, are not of the best quality, but I guess there’s nothing you can do about that." REALLY means: "Unless you're willing to take the pictures in the dark, with a bag over your head, from really, really far away. That might work."

"We’ll definitely do a Bastardly match up w/ you, but we’ll need far-far better photos to make this work." REALLY means: "We definitely will not do a Bastardly match up with you, as you seem unwilling to submit a different face and body."

"I don’t want to post up bad photos of you & have people say, “see I told you she wasn’t hot.� REALLY means: "Dude! Are you retarded? Have you no mirror? These Bastardly bitches will eat you alive if I put this shit up. I am trying to help you."

"That would be wrong b/c you are hot!" REALLY means: "You are not hot. I am throwing you a bone. If you were hot, I'd be all up in your shit, RIGHT NOW."

Okay, now do you get it, Aromia? You have an over inflated opinion of yourself. Stop now. Please. I'm embarrassed for you, and I hate that.

Aromia
Aromia

ya talk about me

DB's Wife
DB's Wife

mmm... dirty martini... I'll take a large. Shaken. Also, make it so cold that Ron Jeremy would complain of shrinkage.

GMAVQ - great quote. Great man. GREAT HOTTIE OF THE PAST!

Get Me A Valium Quick
Get Me A Valium Quick

Mimi ~ The 'Tammy' issue is over. I agree, let's move on. And yes, I am so inclined... Would you like that shaken or stirred?

mimi
mimi

Was Tammy officially kicked off by "the powers that be" or was she just so sick of everyone's bitching about her that she left?

I enjoyed your banter, GMAVQ, and I really appreciated DB's wife's comments. But your fixation with Tammy has gone too far.

Let's move on.

And since you are making cocktails, fix me a drink(if you are so inclined). Double dirty martinis, please.

Get Me A Valium Quick
Get Me A Valium Quick

DB's Wife ~ Good news! No petition necessary, as the offending person is now officially gone. However, consider yourself a member of TDS. Sadly, our work is not done, and we must remain ever vigilant, patrolling for the next incidious poseur. In closing, an appropriate quote from a total 'hottie' from the past:

"If not us, who? If not now, when?" (JFK)

DB's Wife
DB's Wife

Ouchie! GMAVQ, babycakes, you are sasspants, naughty EVIL... and this is why I enjoy you so.

Hey on another post you mentioned a anti Tyammyhammyspammy petition. Is that for real or am I 'signing my name' simply by agreeing to join the dark side (light, dark, it's all relative to where you stand). Or let's do this:

I, DB's Wife, hereby formally declare my support for the idea that Tyammyhammyspammyjammymammywhammy get banned from the moejackson.com on the grounds that she's TOO much of a bastard. In the wrong way.

*kiss kiss*

Get Me A Valium Quick
Get Me A Valium Quick

OMG. That is a REJECTION letter. You may not be attractive enough to be a model, but you're certainly dumb enough. Your letter made me sad for you, as you don't seem to understand that you don't have what it takes. It's getting late, Aromia ~ What time is curfew at the whorehouse? You better get going.

Aromia
Aromia

Aromia, don't take what I said the wrong way. We think you're exotic, sexy & hot too, alright---just in your own way. There's is ntohign wrong abou that. It's just that maybe the photos you're sending us, are not of the best quality, but I guess there's nothing you can do about that.

We'll definitely do a Bastardly match up w/ you, but we'll need far-far better photos to make this work. I don't want to post up bad photos of you & have people say, "see I told you she wasn't hot." That would be wrong b/c you *are* hot!

Get Me A Valium Quick
Get Me A Valium Quick

Oops. Sorry, Aromia, I misspelled your employer's name. I meant, JC Penney. Mea culpa!

Get Me A Valium Quick
Get Me A Valium Quick

Is somebody fucking with us? "eww that asia is not beauty.. i am beauty ~ Sounds awfully familiar...

"Ashwaria Rai, that small-headed indian actress who, for some odd reason, has fooled the entire world into thinking that she’s the hottest thing in the world?

Indeed, she is annoying."

Moe, You wrote that. Aromia, is even more annoying that Ashwaria. As Ashwaria is absolutely gorgeous.

Aromia
Aromia

I am a model already :-p

Get Me A Valium Quick
Get Me A Valium Quick

It doesn't add up. If Aromia's so hot, why is she begging for a smidgen of acknowledgement on a fucking blog? Where's her modeling contract? Why haven't you posted her photo on Bastardly as 'Hot chick of the day'? UNLESS... She's not all that hot!!!!

Moe, You're mistaking 'self confidence' with 'arrogance'. Unproven arrogance, at that. Big fucking deal. She's resembles somebody quasi-famous and is thin. Quick! Somebody get this girl a modeling contract!

Aromia
Aromia

eww that asia is not beauty.. i am beauty

justlikehoney
justlikehoney

NEMO, you have me at that one. asia argento is smokin'. i love chicks with tatoos who look like they'll beat the living crap out of you. i mean, i myself am a chick with tats, but no way as bad ass as asia. shes delish.

Nemo
Nemo

Asia Argento does more for me than Eva does, though that second picture is alright. Moe, I think you should put up a post for the girls who like skinny, moody rocker boys (since not all of us are into the beefcake); and as a bribe some Asia pictures (minus the first few which aren't as good):

http://freeweb.supereva.com/peppenews/italiane/asia_argento.htm?p

Aromia
Aromia

hey mo..... don't i look like adriana lima?

Beaner
Beaner

She is so fine, granted, some curves would work but then she would just be deadly. The woman is so fucking hot. She just needs to eat some mc d's a couple of times a week and she will be ruling the world.

Jacquelyn
Jacquelyn

Aromia, those sound like fightin' words, but I wont ever post my pic on a blog site............ I didn't say I am not toned, but I have had a child and I don't have the time or money for a personal trainer or surgery. I workout daily and eat healthy, but I don't expect to ever have the same body I did in high school and early college again. I'm not overweight, and my husband doesn't need to make me feel good, I know what I look like and I am not dissapointed :) Anyway, Moe says you walk the walk, so I bet you are pretty hot and sexy. Use it to your advantage when you can, men will do anything for a woman who can look good in any outfit.

Moelicious
Moelicious

I love Aromia's self confidence!

Oh yeah, I've seen a couple pics of Aromia & I have to admit, she can walk the talk....

Aromia
Aromia

Jacquelyn.... your husband is just tryna make you feel good... I have a body like Eva, naturally skinny and toned.. Boys love it. You can wear pretty much any outfit.

onehitter
onehitter

From a man's point of view.... your story sucked. You need to juice it up by stating that Matthew M force fed your friend his tube steak, or something. Paint a picture for us.

Jacquelyn
Jacquelyn

Ok, I have my opinion, some favors to ask, and a grand (kind of) story to tell..............

Eva is a beautiful woman, but if I were a man I would want substance, not boney, and she always looks extremely superficial. My husband likes meat on my bones (meat, not fat) and says that if I ever get too skinny he will force-feed me burgers and protein shakes until I get my curves back.

Ok, my favor........ I am going to search for another bribe so we can see another hotty, but since mine was posted last time, what hot man do we want to see this time????

My grand story......... a friend of mine got drunk and died hitting a tree and her memorial service is today.......... (totally NOT the grand part). She is cousins with Matthew McConaughey, and he was AT THE SERVICE!!! I wasn't able to go to the service, but my good friend did, and she MET HIM!! He accidentally bumped into her and apologized, and then they chatted for a few minutes, and she claims she had the "deer in the headlights" look the whole time.......

justlikehoney
justlikehoney

i mean, shes cute and pretty and all, dont get me wrong, but nothing special. her face, to me, doesnt have the exotic erroticism of, say, penelope cruz, for tha matter... but im not hating, im sure shes hotter than me, so whatevs.

cakefart_commando
cakefart_commando

I don't quite get the appeal (of stick chix like her) either, but to each his/her own, I guess.

Gia
Gia

i also think she is overrated. her face is not that spectacular or impressive. i think her body is incredibly hot though.

but i am just not feeling it for her face. she doesnt stun me. i think her massive quantities of self confidence gives her a big boost in the whole people thinking she is soooo sexy thing.

brown_qt
brown_qt

im not a hater but i dont think that either of them have anything special. being a latina myself i dont see what all the fuss is about with eva. but then again.....what do i know....

shakalaka
shakalaka

yeah i think she is overated in my humble opinion, i really dont see what the fuss is about her...and unlike a lot of latina babes, she is unfortunately not blessed with the good ol' tits and ass hahahaha...she seems to have a generic look...now that model above Donna Feldman, now that is one hot, beautiful, drop dead gorgeous woman...

O Lordy
O Lordy

Overrated, fugly.. I cant be arsed to get into it.

What is with the pose?

Moelicious
Moelicious

Can't a latina enjoy her day in the limelight?!

corey
corey

jealous orrrr........

Lena
Lena

Overrated.

Girl
Girl

Yeah, she is definately one little fox...