Rachael Ray vs. Giada De Laurentiis – A Food Network Bastardly Matchup

Official Bastardly Matchup photos from FoodNetwork.com

Rachael Ray will teach how to cook 30 minute meals and eat for $40 a day while Giada De Laurentiis will teach you about Everyday Italian. Don’t deny that you don’t spend hours watching the Food Network; we all do!!! So it makes me wonder….who do the readers fancy more?

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188 comments
charlie
charlie

Hilarious bro.....LOL for the first time in a while......too funny!

Giadahater
Giadahater

Giada is perfect?? In EVERY way?? What fucking rock do you live under? If a HUGE head, sloppy, saggy tits, HUGE square smile and FAKE Italian accent is your thing then I feel sorry for you.

Giadahater
Giadahater

I hope you fucked her hard and invited 50 of your friends to fuck her till her pussy was even bigger than her mishapen mouth!!

Giadahater
Giadahater

Agreed! Who wants to see floppy tits all over the place? I forgot to mention her abnormal square smile!!

Giadahater
Giadahater

Giada is a big old bobble head, she is a sell out and she wouldn't go too far without showing her saggy jello consistency boobs. Rachel Ray is down to earth and way more successful!! I guess showing boobs can only get you so far and so Giada has to make slurping sex sounds when she tries her food, not to mention she talks with her mouth full, she is really only targeting the male audience. Well, I guess these days the ONLY thing bigger than her head is her stomach!!

trukn1
trukn1

Giada is a human bobblehead...but if tearing up a bobbleheads pussy is wrong, i dont wanna be right. agreed that she looks like too much work and too little reward in the sack. But in this matchup she is the clear cut winner...

If you like Rachael, you might actually be gay. I have suspected she was lesbo from the first show I saw. The husky voice and frumpy body just dont do it for me. Again, agreed that she probably doesnt shut the fuck up in the bedroom either. Coming up with abreviations for everything, and making sure its all done in 30 minutes!!

Ryan
Ryan

Dammit, Giada DOES have a big head...now I think different of her dammit. Oh well, she is still drop dead gorgeous. She has a look of insanity in her eyes and its a little creepy, but she is definitely better looking than Rachel Ray.

Geoff
Geoff

Rachel's alot more anal. For sure.

jerry breitinger
jerry breitinger

75chuck,

Wonder if Rachael farts in your face while you are rubbing your face in her ass?

I would like Giada's panties so I can sniff them all day. What you want to do with Rachael, I would do with Giada.

I think Rachael Ray would give a better blow job especially since Rachael likes to flick her tongue, but I wouldn't mind placing my penis in Giada's mouth.

luv_foodie_booty
luv_foodie_booty

WOW. Its obvious that some of these postings are by kids (12-18), or if you are older, you're just morons. For instance, the guy who goes on and on about Rachel rubbing her ass in your face - you have probably never experienced this and would probably puke.

And the guy who wrote this "i will fuck her is make her suck my 6 inch cock and the n stuff that big pussy of hers with my huge dick " is an idiot and has probably never had sex. And I got news for you Studly, 6 in is not a huge cock. Thank you Mr. Average for your input.

And this little jewel - "I would so fuck Giada. I would eat that shaved pussy of hers for hours.(even if I was the one shaving it!!) After I made her cum about 25 times, I would absolutely fill that little hole of hers with my shaft and make her scream in Italian."

Geez, what a pubescent fantasy. Good luck with that! And I'd like to be there when you get your first piece and pop your rocks after about 10 seconds of fervent humping.

You're a Mo-ron!

CRE
CRE

Seriously, Giada's plan worked. The directors of her show knew her homely face wouldn't attract viewers so they bought her a million low cut blouses. Works every time!!!!!!

Goldstein
Goldstein

Rachel Ray would reverse squat-fuck you to death, re-enacting the post-Fordist tendencies inherent in most Brutalist architecture. You would ask her to stop, but that would be like asking the wind to change direction. I get the sense that Giada is a shoegazer, with the tendency to look down while playing with your fiddle. Rachel's voice carries with it a panicky fright, impatient that what she wants she will not get in enough time to enjoy it, which is why she will stroke your nozzle until it explodes in her mouth rather than letting you blast her in the face. Giada has nice tits, he said, but Rachel possesses the firmest pudding this side of Bunky's Bakery.

"Stick a finger in my ass," said Rachel.

"That doesn't feel good," said Giada.

"Suck on my toes," said Rachel.

"My feet are dirty," said Giada.

"You're going to make my pussy pop," said Rachel.

"That hurts," said Giada.

"I want to taste your cum," said Rachel.

"Only on my belly," said Giada.

"That tastes fucking delicious," said Rachel.

"I can't believe you just did that," said Giada.

BassDude
BassDude

Just imagine if RR had G's boobs or if G had RR's booty,now you're talking !!

My wife even says RR should get a boob job & she hates chicks with boob jobs.

RR does seem to have a fun loving,beer drinking,watch the game & be fun in bed type personality.The girl next door you can just hang out with.

Where G is the stuck up rich bitch,that won't give you the time of day unless you're the quarter back,but I still want to do her chick,that we all went to school with.She probably worries about her hair while doing the nasty !!!

RR's voice & east coast accent gets kinda annoying after a while(sorry I'm a Southern boy) & G's quasi-Italian & over exaggerated pronunciation of of "crunchy" & other words drives me nut too.

Hey they're both not too bad to look at & I get to see them because my wife is watching their shows.I don't go out of my way to watch them but there are worse things on TV to watch.

anonymous
anonymous

I FUCKED GIADA LAST NIGHT! FOR REAL!

Andy
Andy

Rachel Ray is okay looking, but she has no boobs at all. And personally, her food does not appeal to me whatsoever. Giada wins both food and having amazing boobs. I'm watching her right now. She's basically just saying stare at my chest, I love it.

tbty
tbty

I enjoy watching both of these ladies. Who really knows what either of them are like in real life, but their characters are both appealing on screen.

As for theor character fantasy...well GIADA would be the gorgeous heiress dressed in a stunning low cut evening gown whom you would love to get to talk to - if only you got past all the chic and super rich guys surrounding her. If you could seduce GIADA there would be a great number of very specific and well rehearsed sexual maneuvers you would perform with her. Naturally you don't even get a chance to speak with her and perhaps only get a glance from her as she sips champagne and air-kisses her multimillionaire friends on the cheek. RACHEL, on the other hand, would be in a crowd laughing her head off over a dirty joke and drinking maybe just a little too much beer. You could approach her easily and before long you put an arm around her waist and vice versa.

Lovely GIADA rules your fantasies, but it's good ole RACHEL who would go down on you as you parked in her driveway after driving her home. Your one hand under her shirt and your other hand in her lovely soft hair pushing her head down gently but firmly as you erupt - feeling her throat muscles contracting as she swallows, then looking up at you and smiling with cummy teeth she would whisper in her sexy hoarse tobacco whisper " deee-lish!" and you would both fall back laughing.

foodie
foodie

rachael ray all the way. not only does she have a cute body & sweet girl next door smile but her funny down to earth personality makes her that much more attractive.

giada onthe other hand... just face it fellas, the only reason you think shes hot is cause she always wears a push up bra with a low cut top. if she didnt do that she would just be a huge headed, unbelievably short armed, no lips- just a hole lotta horse teethed, hook nosed, stuck up pretentious BITCH! i saw her be catty to her own sister & mother on the show! her attitude sucks & that is just the icing on the cake for her being unattractive.

teofilio
teofilio

Cat Cora pwnz both of these sluts.

some random dude
some random dude

they are both smokin hot, but i have to go with Giada. plus i'm also Italian

racheal ray's personal fuck buddy
racheal ray's personal fuck buddy

for all that matters racheal has got my vote cuz i want to rock her world. the way i will fuck her is make her suck my 6 inch cock and the n stuff that big pussy of hers with my huge dick i will make her scream really bad then i fuck her in that tight butthole of hers and then ill make her cook for me then fuck her while she is cooking for me then ill eat some of her food and then fuck her again and suck her titis and then ill take a nap and put her titi in my mouth then when i wake up i would fuck her again and i would fuck her every single day and after i woke up i will fuck her and then i will cum inside that pussy and then since she cant have kids ill leave her pregnant with some of my man juice then i will fuck her again and then i will film it and then i will put some more of that man juice(sperm)and then ill take copy's of it and sell them and ill call the movie RACHEAL RAY'S CREAM FILLED HOLE and by job will be just to fuck her everyday of my life then i will have to get a new bed because i fucked her so hard that the bed brokeand then ill fuck her until this bed brakes and then get a new 1 and so on and ill just fuck her every single day RACHEAL I LOVE U CALL ME (302)540-1374 AND IF U CALL ME ILL BE YOUR VERY OWN PERSONAL FUCK BUDDY ILL MAKE SURE ILL FUCK U EVERYDAY EVEN WHEN YOUR ON THE SHOW 30 MINUTE MEALS.

Djabbaka
Djabbaka

Rachel Ray looks like a 55-gallon drum with the Joker's smile pasted on her face. Giada is equally nasty. The person who wrote that "Giada seems more sophisticated" or something similar is wrong: both of these hags provide watered down crap for the masses.

chefboy
chefboy

Giada is hotter, but I'd do both of them...

GDOM
GDOM

Rachel looks like she would be way into anal, which is good....but Giadas cans are fabulous

WhyChoose
WhyChoose

Also, have any of you even seen Rachel lately? yes she maybe carrying an extra 5 or 10 in the booty, but she is NO WAY even remotely fat. I would so bang her porno-movie style

As for Giada, I wont have to worry about her big teeth smile, because you can see that while your tapping the booty doggy-style, not to mention that teeth don't show while you moan or when your busy giving a hummer.....so just have the both of them hum out on me and each other that takes care of too much teeth and too much talk.

And one other thing....

I am the chef of the house, and I don't need either one of them to cook, so I could care less if either of them has any food talent. I don't watch them for their food talent, but at least in Rachel's show, I get to see more of her than just from the boobs-up...girls moves around

WhyChoose
WhyChoose

Why choose between the two? I say get them both in the kitchen, forcibly clear off the counter, and have them both taco-feast on each other while I take turns stuffing both their sausage-casings. While they are both too busy enjoying each other's mexican, they wont be talking. See? You guys are amateurs.

(But I must admit, In the above scenario, I give Rachel the first poke)

Chris
Chris

you all are crazy Rachael Ray’s is so fucking hot, so is Giada but she just too dame skinny. Giada has a better face, although i like Rachael's smile better and her ass cuz it's so big i just want to smack it. However, Giada takes the cake in the boobs department. when are one of those two going to have a sex-tape released, cuz i'll be first to download it.

jamar
jamar

Ina Garten.

Unskinny bop! bop! bop! bop!

jodi
jodi

I am dumbfounded about how vulgar and stupid some of these comments are. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. They are both good cooks and that is that.

Inga
Inga

RR definitely comes across as more genuine, if you only watch her show in small doses. She does talk like a bufoon, but her recipes seem good. Giada, on the other hand, seems very phony and tense with that painful smile that shows all of her huge,horse teeth. Without the gobs of make-up and breast implants, she'd look even more unattractive than she already is. Notice her ugly hook nose (in profile)?

jhgkf
jhgkf

I would totally fuck Rachael Ray's brains out! I'd squeeze that big hot ass of hers while I got my cock in her tight warm pussy. I'd fill her pussy up with a huge load of cum too!

Joe
Joe

I would so fuck Giada. I would eat that shaved pussy of hers for hours.(even if I was the one shaving it!!) After I made her cum about 25 times, I would absolutely fill that little hole of hers with my shaft and make her scream in Italian. After I fucked her in the ass and came on her face I would let her cook breakfast in the nude and then fill that pussy with another load of man juice before devouring whatever she put on the plate. She may not be a smoker, but she would be lighting up a menthol when I was done with her. I wouldn't touch Rachel Ray with Rosie O'Donnel's dick! That bitch needs her toungue cut our and about 90 pounds of fat sucked off her ass and gut and then transplanted to her chest! She can't cook and is such a bad Lay, her husband pays a lady to spit on his face and rub her feet in it! That is desperate for attention... but if I was him I would need a reality check too! The only thing that would make giada better is if it was a show on her cooking naked and then getting fucked in that tight little ass of hers!!!!

Matt
Matt

Rachel Raye is a total knock-out. She's an EVW, which means Erotic Voluptuous Woman. I love her big bubble butt and the way she carries it. Giada De Laurentiis has nothing on Rachel. She smiles like a fake ass politician and has no "Bang" to anything she says. I love Italian but I'd rather be eating it off of Rachel big bubble booty than off of Giada silicon injected boobs anytime.

Rachel, call me!

Matt - asimpleprocedure@yahoo.com

Sara
Sara

Geez this is so superficial. I could care less about their boobs. How shallow can you get? Rachel is fun, funny, and down to earth. Giada is sophisticated, but acts a little snobby. Both have great talent in the kitchen.

Tonya Wilson
Tonya Wilson

I am sorry I have to say I did not spell GIADA right the first time because I can watch her show.She physically makes me sick.

Tonya Wilson
Tonya Wilson

I gotta say I am one hell of a cook.I have been cooking since I was 5 years old.Nigelle Lawson and myself are so much a like it scares me.I am shocked That that fake ass Giatta is still on the air.Can the net work NOT SEE how fake she is? DAMN IT MAN!! Is she an alien or was her mom on crack and that is why she has a water head.How does the camera man get focused on the head when her fake ass smile is bigger than her head.She should take some of the money handed out to her and get a head reduction.And a boob job to lift her saggy tits.GROSS BITCH MAN.Big head droopy tits and two t.v. shows.Not who you know but who you blow andhow well you blow who you know huh.Rachel ray has been through hell and it shows.I love her and feel bad for her. I can't have kids either and I know her pain.It is a bad pain that no pill can heal.Rachel I love you.You are a bubbly Bitch and an alcoholic rihgt in ther with Miss Cocktail time Sandra Lee.Whooooo she is a drunk and it shows.She should probably eat some of the food that surrounds her to soak up the alcohol.hahahaha Fame fortune and a cock in her tale. I love The food network but Miss Big Face makes me tirn the channel.

Toni
Toni

EVERYONE WHO PREFERS NASTY ASS RACHEL RAY OVER GIADA MUST BE ON CRACK. THE CHOICE IS SO PAINFULLY OBVIOUS. RACHEL IS NOT ONLY A BAD COOK, BUT AN UGLY,MONSTROUS BEAST. SHE HAS THE BODY OF A FAT,SHORT PUBESCENT KID. THE FHM PICTURES SHE TOOK WERE ALL AIR BRUSHED, AND EVEN FOR PICTURES THAT HAVE BEEN TOUCHED UP ,THEY STILL LOOKED BAD. TO HAVE SEX WITH HER I WOULD HAVE HAD TO JUST COME OUT PRISON AND BE BLIND AND DEAF, BECAUSE HER VOICE MAKES MY EARS BLEED. SHE SOUNDS LIKE SHES GIVEN ONE TOO MANY BLOW JOBS AND EVERYTHING SHE SAYS SOUNDS LIKE ITS COMING OUT OF SOMEONE WHO SUFFERS FROM SEVERE MENTAL RETARDATION. HER FOOD LOOKS LIKE CRAP, AND IT SHOULD ONLY TAKE HER 5 MINUTES TO MAKE THAT SHIT SHE CALLS A "MEAL". EVERYTHING ABOUT HER IS OFFENSIVE. SHE NEVER EVEN WENT TO CULINARY SCHOOL!! WHAT A LOSER. IT REALLY BOTHERS ME HOW ANYONE COULD EVER FIND HER ATTRACTIVE. SHE LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE BOY,SHE NEEDS A BOOB JOB, SHE NEEDS TO GROW 6 INCHES, SHE NEEDS TO DROP 25 LBS, AND SHE NEEDS A LOT OF PLASTIC SURGERY. GIADA ON THE OTHER HAND IS EDUCATED,ARTICULATE,HOT,AND A GREAT CHEF. SHE LOOKS LIKE A WOMAN AND DOESNT ANNOY HER AUDIENCE. EVEN IF SHE WEREN'T A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER LOOKING THAN RACHEL RAT HER PERSONALITY MAKES HER ENJOYABLE AND ATTRACTIVE.GIADA DOESN'T EVEN NEED TO SHOW SOME CLEAVAGE,IF SHE WERE DRESSED IN A NUNS OUTFIT PEOPLE WOULD STILL SEE HOW PRETTY SHE IS. RACHEL RAY NEEDS TO STOP TALKING LIKE A TRUCKER GET SOME PLASTIC SURGERY DONE AND LEAVE THE FOOD NETWORK, BECAUSE SHE HAS A FACE FOR RADIO.

Joe
Joe

I'd rather fuck giada up her butt right on that countertop

Carmie
Carmie

Giada is a fucking fake MORON and deserves to be punched in the face. She sounds like a retard with her fake accent. GIADA YOUR A DISGRACE TO THE ITALIAN RACE

H-Man
H-Man

Rachel = ass in your face, delish.

Giada = tits in your face... nice!

How about just choose both?

rick masters
rick masters

rachael? no friggin way

giada? probably

michelle harris (the new domestic diva)? ABSOLUTELY

just read about her here (check out the pics, WOW) meninaprons.net/television

brian
brian

rachel ray is a honker. and a ho bag. giada is an italian goddess. I would give rachel ray forty dollars a day not to be on the air.

John Greer
John Greer

I love both of them, but Rachael's big legs drive me right out of my mind. Paching Pachow!!!!

TheIrish89
TheIrish89

Totally Giada! Rachel comes of as being dumb as a post. She has no facial expressions. And my god is she f*****g annaoying. Giada on the other hand has a nice pair of hmhmm well you know and shows 'em off. She's the only reason i watch foodnetwork.

Audiart
Audiart

Rachael Ray is is not only hideous, obnoxious and shapeless, but is not a chef and is barely a cook. She cooks like a college student and eats like a Floridan retirement community.

Giada is a very creative chef even if she's not the most talented one on the network. She is good in her genre of Italian cooking. Despite her enormous head, which freaks me out to no end, she's fairly attractive. At least she's not fat like Ray.

But I'm sorry, Sandra Dee owns it ALL. I mean, except for the cooking.

Givintheshortrib
Givintheshortrib

Ray has a great mouth and is blessed with DSLs. Giada has a five head but eyes that melt a guys heart and make the meat thermometer rise. I would like to be the ham in that sandwich. It is true that Ray's new poundage makes her look a bit like the Joker but seriously, imagine the two of them double teaming a Kabob. Nice.

chuck
chuck

Giada De Laurentiis she is the better one of the two.Giada De Laurentiis she rocks