Skinny, But Still Fat, Star Jones Gets Creepishly Deep
It seems like everyone’s getting deep these days. First Lindsay admits to practicing the art of bulimia & using crack and now Star Jones lays down a few corny memories of her own.
Here are a few lines from her interview w/ People Mags in which she remembers how Al first approached her ass (at this time she was around 250lbs)
At a party on Nov. 13, 2003, a man took my arm and said, “You’re not just going to pass me by.” This man with skin the color of cooked butter, the most beautiful lips and the deepest brown eyes on the planet continued, “I saw you once at a party five years ago and was too hesitant to approach you, but I’m braver this time.” [Definitely Drunk, possibly homosexual, Al Reynolds]
If you haven’t had to yack in your trashcan underneath your desk, then the memories of her first couple dates w/ Al might do the trick.
On date one, Al presented me with a CD of songs with the word “star” in them. More important was date two. We’d gone to church and come back to my apartment for a home-cooked meal. Al took my hands and said the words I’ll never forget: “I’m not looking for temporary.” Whooooaaa. “Well, I’m also not interested in sport dating,” I answered. From that moment on, we started thinking of ourselves as two parts of a penny. We’d talk on the phone till 4 in the morning. I left singing messages on his voice mail. He covered the floor of my living room with roses.
I was madly in love. The first time he held me in his arms sexually, it was almost frightening because we knew our erotic interest in each other could take over every other thing.
So we had an intoxicatingly sexual connection the first two months of our relationship. [To. Much. Info.]
Sexual relations between the two thirsty beasts frightened even their pastor. When Star & Al consulted their pastor about marriage, he suggested the couple remain celibate until after marriage & then he mysteriously puked all over his freshly pressed Pastor get-up. May God have mercy on him.