Bastardly Run-on Sentence Review: Deuce Bigalow European Jigalow

I’d pay like $30-40 for one of those trophies.

I’ve been waiting to see this thing for a while as the first Deuce was one of my favorite flicks & I can safely say that this movie was better than Million Dollar Baby and I say that without even having seen MDB, so yeah, the flick & every second of the DVD extras should be watched by all horndogs & pretty much anyone with a sense of humor, and moreover, I felt my sexual vocab substantially grew as the movie progressed, so big props go out to Rob Schneider and his team, but aside from the movie’s epic quality, I fell in love w/ Hanna Verboom (aka Hanna Vaaaboom!) who Rob Schneider had a chance to sex up, but didn’t follow through b/c he didn’t put it into the damn script for some fucked up reason—i mean, if I was writing a comedy staring a super hot European bombshell w/ a voice from sexual heaven, I would at least have a couple sex scenes (that doesn’t include a shower session in which I give my hot, European co-star a bath w/ my own bare hands & tongue), so Rob please keep that in mind for the next Deuce b/c your fan base commands content that will merit an NC-17 rating, so yeah, apologies for the digression, but Hanna Vavvvvooom was super hot (the type of hotness where you want to hit the pause button & let out a big “God Daaaayyyyym!”), but if there was a way to make love to her voice, I would be game b/c I’m telling you guys, her Belgian accent was literally addictive & if add the voice to her body, all I can say is that this girl has tremendous potential if she’s willing to spread her sexy-smooth legs for the right American directors & producers, so with that in hand, rent the DVD, grab some popcorn & let Hanna Vavvvooom into your heart, but in the meantime enjoy tons & tons of bad-quality screen caps of Hanna & other random things out of the DVD’s extras.