Posts from July 2014

“I Hate Jennifer Aniston” – A Bastardly Community Project

As you guys know, when it comes to the internet, the community is everything. Our small Bastardly Community is no exception, of course.

W/ that in hand, I’m calling out all you J. Aniston haters. Why? Well, while on the Bastardly Community message board, Sarah’s gossip wisdom spewed out in the form of this comment:

macanaw

I can’t stand her. We should start a “I hate Jennifer Aniston” blog and update how stupid she is weekly.

Actually….that gets me thinking…. [Bastardly Community]

Well, there you have it. Whip up a convincing post—photos, graphs, and/or tables will be a great addition—telling 1000s around the globe why you hate J. Aniston & why people in general should see through her shady ways & also join the Hate Aniston Camp.

Send all submissions to this address.

If this doesn’t interest you, please choose something from the list below to submit:

1. If you think you look like Adriana Lima, send us proof!
2. If you’re hot & the world should see your hotness, send us proof!
3. If you think you like any celebrities, send us a few photos in proof.
4. Personal whoring story (see this post for more info)

The Bastardly Evening News – Feb. 28, 2006

* Paris says: “My acting coach told me I have a similar style of acting to her [Charlize Theron] so we may end up vying for the same parts.” Well, they both know how to speak, so if that is what the dude meant, then I *guess* he is right. Seriously though, I saw House of Wax, and honestly, the wax statutes had more skills than Paris. In fact, I have taken shits that have more acting ability than Paris…I’d be willing to bet good money that if I could make my turd somewhat pretty it would beat out Paris for *any* role. Seriously.
[WWTDD]

* This dude, Armin Meiwes, met some guy on the internet who *agreed* to be killed and eaten. Before dying the “dinner guest” and Armin supped on some fried penis (seriously). Armin is now in jail for 8 years, but his hunger is not sated. He recently said he would like to start eating more people…celebrities to be exact. Quoting Armin, “I want to eat people who are beautiful.”. Unluckily, that means Paris Hilton will not be on his list of people to kill and eat. [FemaleFirst]

* Ok. Serously, why is the new James Bond such a motherfucking pussy douchebag? Last week he got teeth knocked out during rehersal for a fight scene…now he has *really* bad sunburn. Awwww…poor baby…Craiggy need a kiss on the booboo makey better? Adding to his fagosity is the fact that the punk can’t even drive a stick shift car, he can only drive an automatic car — so the traditional Aston Martin DB5 had to be converted…and he has said he doesn’t like guns and that speedboats make him feel queasy. I heard that in the new film, he’ll be drinking Sperm, shaken, not stirred. [TheSun]

Stacy Keibler Is Dancing With The Stars (And Freaks)

I have yet to watch a single episode of this show—or any reality show, for that matter. I’ve only seen mini-clips of it on E!’s hilarious show, The Soup. (By the way (here comes a mini-digression…), The Soup is some quality television. I seriously find myself cracking up @ some of the shit Joel McHale (the host) pulls out of his ass. That dude is pure comedy, baby!)

Anyway, let’s get back to Stacy Keibler & Dancing W/ The Stars…From the clips I’ve seen of this show, all the people participating appear to be professional dancers. They’re all swinging each other all over the place & busting out the craziest moves. Aside from the dancing, I’ve checked out all the other women on that show & I’m fairly convinced that Stacy Keibler’s the hottest one of the batch. For the record, Lisa Rinna looks like someone punched her in the mouth.

Here are a few pics from one of the episodes.

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Penelope Cruz is the Butterface in the Family

It seems as though I’m on a Penelope Cruz tirade ever since my Matthew McConaughey post.

I don’t really care for Penelope Cruz, I think she’s overrated in the looks department.

I categorize Penelope under the Jennifer Aniston Category. The Category in which they look really pretty with their makeup done, hair done and a really great photographer who can airbrush the hell outta the pics. I don’t see how Tom Cruise woke up to that Butterface every morning. He must have woken up next to hot man instead to counteract her horrific looks.

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P.S. Lose the bangs! The 80’s teacher look is SO out.

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Charlize Theron’s J`adore by Dior TV Commercial In Europe

It looks like she’s having an orgasm.

I find it amusing how American movie stars go abroad to do commercials, rather than doing them here in the states. I guess they’re afraid of looking a little cheap in the public’s eye.

Here are more stills from the commercial…

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Hasbeen Nick Carter Needs A Hug

This guy has seriously disappeared from the face of the entertainment world. There was once a time when he could’ve slept w/ pretty much any hot chick (who liked the Backstreet Boys &/or money), but now he’s borderline chubs & hanging out w/ his younger bro.

In other news, the Boys’ recently toured through Ausieland & it sounds like a seed of false hopewas planted in their hearts…

It is good to be back.

We want to show people that we have staying power and that we are not just coming back and going away. We were truly never gone. [A.J. McLean, Sydney Morning Herald]

Is this the final slaying of music’s worst phase since…since…music was invented? Let’s keep our fingers crossed.

Here are a few more pics of Nick Carter weeping for your sympathy.

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Is Alexa Vega Bastardly Worthy Jailbait?

I guess this girl was in those Spy Kids movies…which I never saw….and she’s turning 18 this year. So technically she’s still jailbait but I’m not sure if she’s someone worthy of an unofficial countdown?

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