Monthly Archives: March 2006

Sexy Melissa Theuriau Video & Today’s Hottest Links!

God, I don’t understand a word of French, but I want this woman. Now!

Ok, if you watched the video, you probably have the urge to see naught photos of this bombshell. We don’t blame you.

Girls, I’m sorry, but we’ll try to get a hold of a Geraldo video for next Friday. Remember to bring extra pair of panties to work!

The Juicy Links!

* Tori Spelling was secretly in White Chicks. I knew it all along!
* Denise Richards Has Tommy Lee As A Matchmaker—I see a sex video in the near future! Pull through, Tommy!
* Jessica Simpson blonde jokes…the last & final stage of her fame.
* Sienna Drama Miller has new tattoo. Bitch needs to go away already.
* Jake Gyllenhaal is Rude
* Who’s the next Wonder Woman?
* Before she can truly comeback, Gillian Anderson needs to resolve her hair issues.
* Super Crackwhorebitch, Naomi Campell, wears fur & throws phones.
* Kimora Lee Simmons and Russell Simmons Over!
* Courtney Love’s true colors & showing! Murderer!!

More Melissa videos below!

Tricia Helfer & Grace Park – just like Magnum & TC!!!

It’s always nice to see diversity promoted on The Bastardly. Stacy Keibler promotes diversity and so does the show Battlestar Galctica. Well, we know that Grace Park is a fine piece of Asian ass and Tricia Helfer is a hot whitey too.

This picture is reminiscent of such teamwork diversity that was promoted between the Thomas Magnum and Theodore “TC” Calvin…yeah, I’m old school like that…G’Yeah wha’chu know ’bout Magnum PI baby!

Piper Perabo Drinks Coke, has Bad Style & a Cold Sore.

Coke recently launched it’s new “Side Of Life” campaign & dropped tons of cash to invite any one who has ever done a movie.

Enter Piper Perabo.

Normally I find this chick super hot, sexy & underrated, but she fucked up w/ the cold sore & tights combo last night.

After carefully reviewing her situation, I think Piper & Keanu should hook up. Piper needs a deep network to help her get into movies (Keanu can help) & Keanu needs a warm home for his lonely, possibly gay, Mr. Anderson hiding between his legs. It’s a win-win situation, people!

Kinky Kristanna Loken Protects Boobs & Declares Bisexuality

Kristanna Loken recently came out of the Kinky Closet & declared to the Horndogg Community, rich men & women around the world that she’s open to a relationship. She’ll play suckie-suckie, lickie-lickie & everything in between w/ either sex, so we should all thank God for this news. Now for some recent quotes that will surely get your blood flowin’.

I have dated and have had sex with men and women and have to say that the relationships I have had with certain women have been much more fulfilling, sexually and emotionally, than of those with certain men. I connect with an aura, with energy. And if the person with whom I connect happens to be a female, that’s just the way it is. That’s what makes my wheels turn. []

Bastardly Translation: Kristanna enjoys sex of all kind. Good to hear.

The texture of a woman’s mouth and lips are so much softer than a man’s. It’s more romantic, but there are women who can be rough. I don’t like to make anything a habit, but I’m definitely open-minded about kissing women.

I partied with Michelle Rodriguez. We’d hang out, drink a lot of crappy vodka and hit the clubs. One of them had a pool inside it. We would go, get really drunk and end up swimming in it by the end of the night.

FHM asked, “Did you make out with Michelle?”

Loken would only answer, “I plead the fifth on that.”

And yes, it’s safe to assume that Michelle Rodz was drunk during these make-out sessions.

1 2 3 38