Jennifer Aniston & Vince Vaughn: Match Made By Brad Pitt

The Bastardly Theory goes like this:

Brad Pitt wanted to get some Angelina Jolie Ass (understandable), so in order to get rid of the dead weight (J. Aniston) hanging on his balls, he signed up to Mr & Mrs Smith. Following the second day of shooting, he gets a piece of Angie (as expected). Naturally, following his first swim inside Angie, Brad loved what he tasted, so like any other heterosexual male who just had sex w/ Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt wanted more. Angie, being the woman she is, refused to give more sex unless Brad got J. Aniston & her chin out of the picture.

After being left naked in bed w/out Angelina on top of him, Brad, w/ tears rolling down his cheeks & a hard-on from hell, got on his cell phone & told J. Aniston to face reality. The exact words were, “Bitch, you got me when I was drunk one night & there’s no way in hell I should’ve been w/ you in the first place. You know that. I know that. So sign the papers that’ll arrive in the next 30 minutes. And oh yeah, I put an order for 300 “Team Aniston” Tees to jumpstart your pity campaign. My treat.”

So following the divorce, and in an attempt to keep Jenny from playing chicken on the 405, Brad had the decency to call up one of his main men in the business—Vince Vaughn, of course—to come to the rescue. Vince has plenty of experience in eating up Brad’s leftover goodies & he has a kinky fetish for depressed, rebound sex, so a relationship w/ Jenn Aniston was only what the doctor ordered.

W/ that in hand, here are more pics of Vince & Jenn. How romantic…

View All Photos ›

71 comments
veekyv
veekyv

I wish this planet rids of skunks like Brad and Angie. Pathetic excuse for humanitarians. Money is easily dispensable to cover up immoral sexual conduct. So hypocritical to mend social issues as citizens with conscience.

dd
dd

LMAO OMG THAT THEORY IS AMAZING HAHA MADE ME LAUGH...SOOO TRUE, LTTLE BITCH JENN IS THROWING A MASSIVE PITY PARTY. SKANK

Tamara
Tamara

I believe that all of the people badmouthing Jennifer Aniston are just jealous. She is very pretty, famous, and rich. I am just guessing that none of you are. They are not together anymore, so there should be nothing left to say about her. I believe that she has been hurt enough. Her husband leaves her for another woman and then her boyfriend cheats on her.

HARRY
HARRY

CHINNIFER MANISTON IS BREAKUP AGAIN. THIS UGLY WOMEN JUST USE VINCE FOR REBOUND. SHE GOT BIG BUCKS ON THE MOVIE "BREAKUP " BECAUSE OF VINCE. NOT HERSELF BECAUSE SHE DON'T ACT GOOD.

Lana
Lana

Am not a fan of neither, but I do find Jen gorgeous. Angelina 's not too bright, & what's with her & black ?Brad's not been the only 1,not to mention she loves women too!

Hottie
Hottie

Does anyone else dislike Vince Vaughn? He is riding on Aniston's coattailes and using her for fame, because she sure doesn't like him for his charm or looks. I think he's obnoxious, homely looking and a bad actor, an over-actor. He also has a monotone, annoying voice.

B-Love
B-Love

Honestly, I mean Brad is pretty sexy...but I would rather be with Vince anyway cos he might be the greatest man alive. Let Angelina Jolie have Brad...good choice, Jen...good choice

jackie
jackie

you all are crazy jennifer aniston is absolutly beautiful and it is not shock that she got brad pitt the shock is that he would be stupid enough to cheat on her!

Soin
Soin

DoN't FoRget that Vince Vaughn also starred in "Mr & Mrs Smith," and was there on set when the alleged extramarital affair began. So, no doubt he has an inside scoop to what was happening during filming. Jen's a woman scorned and when a woman is cheated on...believe me... she tends to want to know what, who, when, how, and why it happened. I think that's why she initially got involved with Vince, to get his account of what happened.

If love actually blossoms out of Vince and Jen's romance, it was seeded by her desperation to find out what happened during filming. I wonder if Vince even cares about Jen's initial motives, she must have had to be a hurricane in bed to have bagged The Brad in the first place. (Especially with that "mac-tonite" moon face.)

I also have this theory about Brad cheating WITH Jen back when he was dating Gweneth Paltrow, if that is the case Jen should have known better because "what comes around, goes around" and "history repeats itself."

P.S. And a partridge in a pear tree. Fa la la la la, la la la la

steve
steve

I hate that fucking Brad pitt face of his !!! Angelina too is a nut case and a home wrecker ! those two can go together . I think Jennifer is way better without this jerk and i really never understood the fascination america has with this guy and his new girl !!! and you will see people in a few months that bitch of Angelina will use someone else to play with ! mr and mrs smith : that movie sucked big time !!! he is also giving the promised part to his new partner , how tacky!!! ass hole !

Kat
Kat

none of ur goddamn bizness,

We can express our disgust for this over hyped actress all we want and this forum is specifically designed for doing that. Just because we have a different opinion about her than the masses does not make us incompetent, you idiot. You sound just like a typical Jen fan. Stupid and blind. If you want to be part of the embecile mass sheeples who think she's even worth the big screen she's in, then knock yourself out! The problem with people like you is that they can't differentiate hype from facts. You and people like you are so easily led (how sad).

Oh and I can assure you that ugly ass Jen has absolutely nothing on me! She's f***ing ugly!

felicia
felicia

If you live your life in the public light people have every right to talk about you. And Im afraid Jennifers got nothing on me if she's so hot why does she date a fat drunk gorilla now shouldn't she be able to use her hotness and get a decent guy I have never seen her with a decent guy but Brad and look how that one ended up she must not be so hot after all.

none of ur goddamn bizness
none of ur goddamn bizness

U guys are prehaps the most pathetic ppl on this fucked up planet. What?? U got nothin better 2 do w/ ur fucked up lives than 2 rag on ppl u dont know? and grls, will u shut the fuck up bout jen being butt ass ugly, cause i guaranfuckintee that ur ugly asses got nothin on her- even if shes not the most gorgeous creature in the world........ Bunch of incompetent dipshits

Starry
Starry

Nikkie

My point wasn't about it being against the law to fool around while still married. What I said was "it looks bad". Learn how to interpret my post before you start ragging on what you "think" I said, you idiot! Obviously, if they were trying to avoid people wagging their tongues about them, then they should've either waited after Jen/Brad is divorced or been more discreet about their affair.

And by the way, I'm not a "Jen" or an "Angie" fan. In fact, I found Jen quite annoying with how she handled the whole thing, going on interviews to constantly talk about her marriage to generate pity from the public. The only thing that did was make her seem pathetic.

nikie
nikie

Um didn't steven seagal knock up his baby sitter Prince Charles and camilla, didn't Jennifer Lopez destroy a marriage, Elizabeth taylor i think broke up a marriage, Oh and Michael Landon the highway to heaven guy, Oh and the great Julian Lennon met Yoko while still married to his first wife. Brad and Angie and their family will go down in history as being wonderful people so just get over it. Jen will always be a nobody. I dont condone adultrey you do it and you move on there are worse crimes in this world. It was just meant to happen. You jen fans are a bunch of hypocrites for bringing it up. No they should not have waited till the divorce was final where is the law written that you should.

Kay
Kay

Get out the violin for Aniston. The local news here in Tampa, FL, this evening tells the audience to wait and see the newly released movie, "The Break Up", starring you know who, until it comes out on cable! He goes on two say that on a scale of 1-4, he gives it a generous 2. Yikes! Hope that comment doesn't hurt Vince Vaughn's career too much. Another movie flop for Aniston.

baby firefly
baby firefly

Jennifers head looks way to big for that little body what difference does it make when you start to mess around when its over its over.

Starry
Starry

Angelina and Brad should've waited until after the divorce before fooling around with each other. This just shows some poor class. Obviously there's more to their union than just physical attraction because they're still together. At any rate, it looks bad no matter how you look at it.

On the other hand, Jennifer became extremely annoying when she wouldn't shut up about her failed marriage to the public. The only thing she accomplished at the end was to look pathetic and pityful. I feel sorry for Vince, who has to clean up the mess Brad left. Everyone knows he's a rebound. Poor thing.

And Phred, may God forgive you about those things you said about those innocent kids who have nothing to do with the whole debacle... you fucking asshole!

Phred
Phred

Of course she filed for divorce, he fucking cheated on her for crying out loud! What would you do? Not file for divorce and sue his arse? She should try and take everything he's got.

But... that sounds like a bit of a good idea to be honest, if she stayed married to him, he would never be able to marry anyone else unless he filed for divorce, and she doesn't have to sign any papers... she could've made his life really miserable... and he wouldn't be able to adopt and Jolie kids by himself either could he?

"I believe Brad & Angelina developed strong feelings for one another prior to the split, but I don’t think they acted on them until his marriage was truly in the hopper. "

Whoever said that, get your maths right, they got divorced in october, seven months ago, so he fucked Jolie in august. BEFORE the split. I can't wait til those shits cheat on each other, their kids turn to drugs and fuck around in Africa and get aids.

dina
dina

amyc, I agree - if Jen would gain back about 20lbs and ease up on the fake 'n bake, she'd look alot better.

Sheila
Sheila

If I was a man, I would pick Angelina over that ugly dog Chinnifer Manniston anytime of the day but that's just my opinion. Manniston makes herself a victim by going around to constantly whine about her failed marriage to Brad. She's even threatening to write a book about her marriage to him in a sad attempt to get back at him. What makes me sick about this bitch is the fact that she's the one who filed for divorce and now bitches and moans about the fact that her ex is with someone else. She needs to get over it and get on with her pathetic little existence she calls a life.

Mona
Mona

Honestly, I don't blame Brad Pitt for leaving Jennifer Aniston. She is one boring-ass bitch. I am a straight female and I can fully see why Brad was attracted to Angelina.

Angie is one hell -of -a exciting woman. She has overcome many stumbling blocks

to where she is today. She has a good heart and Brad Pitt recognizes that. Thank God

for Mr. & Mrs Smith. These two falling in love (to me) is as right as rain. Jennifer's

hateful fans are trying to destroy Brad and Angie. They are just as "nuts" as she is.

daney
daney

hahahahahaha

Sheila
Sheila

You Manniston fans are really in denial aren't you. Chinnifer really does look like a man and she's ugly. Those of you who think she's pretty really need glasses. Not only does she look like a man, she's one whiny bitch too. I don't blame her for being insecure about her looks. Hell, if I looked like that I would be insecure too and spend half the day trying to look somewhat presentable. Pathetic!

Annie
Annie

Do you think it is intellegent and sensitive to use use those kids sort of like...................toys...........look, look everybody, look at this kid, look at THIS kid..............This is what Angelina Jolie does...............

The poor villages wait, and wait and hope and hope that she will come and pick ONE of their children................Pitiful!!

Reminds me of Michael Jackson and the "hanging the kids over the banister" episode!

lyz
lyz

Aquarius you are a blind person, oh and not only did you describe Maniston you've also described Ru Paul. Jen looks exactly like a man Im starting to think thats why she doesn't want kids, because men can't carry babies!

goodlord
goodlord

Vince is hilarious but his appearance is cannot be compared to Brad's.

Jennifer is not bad but her appearance is cannot be compared to Angie's.

now i see the thing.

Moelicious
Moelicious

sounds like you were cheated on?!

talk to us, Grr.

grr
grr

i hate men who makes excuses to get out of marriage just to get laid with other girls... bastard...

aquarius
aquarius

Jennifer Aniston looks like a man to some of you? She's pretty, curvy, and ultra feminine. I hate to see your husbands and boyfriends if she looks like a man to you.

Not being a man or a lesbian, I don't see the big attraction to Angelina Jolie. She's o.k., but certainly not the most beautiful woman in the world.

Brad and Angelina were a "grand passion." Big deal. They happen every day. "Grand passions" just turn into same old, same old, or worse.

john
john

no it isn't

HtBsktBllPlyr#20
HtBsktBllPlyr#20

I think its good that Jen and Vince hooked up. this website is all wrong.

what
what

Ha ha! 86, i noticed that too, jens sitting like a man and vince is sitting like a girl!

amyc
amyc

Ms. Anniston was prettier before she went on the Hollywood Diet, whatever it is. Or was it the Friends Diet? Courtney Cox got too skinny about the same time.

lyz
lyz

Chinnifer can tan all day,starve herself all day be skinny and be toned but there will alway's be her ugly head on that tanned, toned, body And when your head is that ugly and your face is that ugly everything will be ruined. By the way the words under the picture were hilarious.

JoliePittclan
JoliePittclan

We know the theory is tongue in cheek, and there was no evil plot on behalf of Brad/Angelina or Vince. Brad/Jennifer ended their marriage not because of cheating, but because it broke down, and had been doing so for awhile, and neither apparently wanted to do the work to rebuild it. I believe Brad & Angelina developed strong feelings for one another prior to the split, but I don't think they acted on them until his marriage was truly in the hopper. Was he supposed to stay with a woman he ddin't love anymore, and probably hadn't even prior to meeting Angelina, and was Jennifer supposed to settle for a marriage where not only her husband emotionally wasn't available to her, but where she herself said ( prior to Angelina's presence in Brad's life) nearly 2yrs earlier that "she didn't know if he was the love of her life, but he certainly was one of the big loves of it." Seems to me both Brad or Jennifer were playing Barbie & Ken get hitched for all those years.

BTW, in my opinion, Vince and Jennifer aren't about anything but the class clown finally getting the cheerleader, but that was only after the school jock dumped her after he fell for the goth girl. I see Jennifer with a John Cusak (don't know why his sister who's bud's with JA hasn't hooked them up. I think they'd be such a much more compatable pair) and Vince with a Vegas showgirl.

john
john

non-hater

Jennifer aniston told me that she wants you to die a horrible death

Non-Hater
Non-Hater

Ummm..... Hello people, Jen is hot. She has an equally proportionate FACE & BODY. Yall are just haters. She was also the one who started the haircut that most of you bitches had at one point or another back in the day. Yall make me sick.

Debra Russell
Debra Russell

Obviously Brad wasnt happy in the first place to do what he did. Angelina was not the cause. She just happens to be the most beautiful of the two women both inside and out.She helps and supports many people and organizations. She puts much more focus and attention on others than she does on herself.

nodakgirl
nodakgirl

LOL!

LOVE the Bastardly Theory!

Hysterical!

john
john

Tragedy is a strong word, it should be used appropriately.

To call a break-up a tragedy diminishes real tragedy.

Eve
Eve

John--perception is reality so tragedy can be your spouse cheating on you. If you don't like tragedy, how about 'bad time' or 'saga', is that okay with you? What about someone you love deceiving you, being disloyal to you, basically cheating on you in front of the entire world and not honoring the commitment they made to you--SOUNDS LIKE A TRAGEDY TO ME.

Eve
Eve

WOW, look at her legs--she is so petite, toned and tan. She looks happy and beautiful. I bet none of you bitches on here that are bad mouthing her are half as pretty as she is.

john
john

"it’s her personal tragedy ... she has been through hell"

Tragedy is someone you love getting run over by a truck

getting dumped is not a tragedy

and through hell?

come on

what are you her publicist?

Eve
Eve

I think this is plain ridiculous--does anyone not remember that NICOLE KIDMAN was originally signed on to play Mrs. Smith? So the whole theory that Brad wanted the Mr. Smith role so that he could finally be rid of his WIFE, is effing BS. And BTW, you Aniston haters are all just jealous...give her an effing break and let's talk about someone who is worthy of the kind of spite that is spewed about JA. Paris Hilton, Tara Reid, who else.....