Monthly Archives: April 2006

Bastardly Gossip Network – Weekend Edition


The Bastardly is slowly coming back to its old self. One of our good friends found a comments plugin that actually doesn’t crash the server! Big props to TS. Again. And again. And…

Anyway, it was a pretty rough week in terms of getting proper amounts of sleep, so I hope to catch up on that a little. Next week we’ll be kicking off the final week of Voting for your Bastardly Sexiest Women, so if you haven’t voted, please do so very soon!!! If you’ve already voted, please don’t vote again b/c it will only void all your votes (even the first one).

In the meantime, enjoy the goodies from our friends around the Bastardly Gossip Network!

Scarlett Johansson’s Breasts…that’s all we needed to read.
Baldwin Brothers found w/ Coke. What’s the big commotion?! 80% of the Hollywood elite do coke.
cityrag likes Grace Park. The Bastardly’s always game when lesbian lovin’ is in the mix.

Charlie Sheen needs to be shot.
Angie to be in Sin City 2?!
Shakira in da house!!

Someone is banging Kelly Osbourne. Money must be involved.
Nick Lachey needs to shoot a sex video w/ Vanessa MinNipple & email a copy to Jessica Simpson.
Kiera Knightley in a swimsuit…what’s there to see?!

Pete Doherty shoots heroin into an unconscious woman! Sick bastard.
Heather Locklear Hates Denise Richards

Today’s can of Tuna was a little tastier than yesterday. Say, “Hello, hello” to Holly Valance!! Yummmmmy!!

Buttaface Jojo Scaring Kids On TRL (w/ Hairy Robin Williams)

Remember, if you really dig Buttafaces, we got more goodies for you @! Rock it, baby!!

Dude, where the hell is Vanessa MinNipple? That chick must be out of vacation days already, right?! She works like 3 days a week!!

Anyway, as you will soon see, Robin Williams is officially the hairiest mofo on planet. Just the mere sight of his arms makes me go into Fur Ball Gag Mode.

Here are snaps of the two plugging something on TRL. Get ready to cringe, my Bastardly friends…

Alessandra Ambrosio Smoking Hot! Again.

As we’ve said before, Alessandra Ambrosio wants little girls all around the world to know that smoking will make you HOT!!


– Helps you lose weight
– Helps you keep the weight off
– Allows you to enjoy a doughnut every now & then w/out feeling guilty
– Looks cool!

Here are a few more snaps of Ms. Ambrosio lookin’ smokin’ hot!! Ow!!

The Bastadly MILF Institute: Angelina Jolie vs. Vanessa Bryant vs. Josie Maran

I was initially going to include Katie Holmes in this match up, but as long as Tom Cruise is around her, there is no hope for her acceptance into the Bastardly MILF Institute.

The Bastardly MILF Institute is nonprofit organization that admits new mothers only after carefully reviewing their MILFilicious…ness following their 1st six months of motherhood. We accept apps year around, so no worries ladies.

We only have one rule worth mentioning: You must be somewhat hot BEFORE jumping into the shallow well of pregnancy in order for your application to be seriously considered.

Now let’s move on to our latest candidates. Final decision on these applications for admittance into the Institute will be made around Christmas, 2006 by Jackson, myself & others on the MILF Institute Board of Erections.

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