Scarlett Johannson Dressed As A Hollywood Hooker

This particular post requires us to jump into our trusty Bastardly Time Machine

These snaps come from Hollywood Awards Gala Ceremony held on October 20th, 2003 & as you can see, Scarlett’s lettin’ it all out! More beautiful women should dress up as hookers b/c let’s admit it, the last few award shows have been pretty shitty from a skankilicious standpoint.

Now here’s some content from our friends in the Bastardly Gossip Network.

* Jessica Simpson’s is capturing the market for “shitty remakes of hit TV Shows made into movies way after their time.” Yeeeah’s reporting this time Jessica will be some Bay Watch flick. Let’s hope she drowns…or something.
* Jessica Alba is the perfect chick! Her ass is heaven on earth & she’ll carry your bags, open doors, and of course, do the suckie-suckie while you’re watching the Lakers game. Ow!
* Plastic Matchup featuring Lisa Rhinna
* Lindsay Lohan’s Ass Revisited. Ok, this is damn funny!
* Lindsay Lohan Rejected by George Clooney
* Natalie Portman isn’t a Whore
* Hugh Grant…He’s still alive?! I thought some angry hooker might’ve killed him by now.
* Busta Rhymes hates gay people & tips well. Good for him!
* Jerry O’Connell is a lucky bastard.

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32 comments
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MistressCara
MistressCara

Ugliest color for a dress, ugliest fabric, ugliest make-up :(

I like the shoes.

valentino
valentino

a pink shoes with a blue dess, bitches wear better than that

lady
lady

@AB Libby:

i hope i will never see you! she`s so beautiful...

kristina
kristina

haha ninja ... hilarious.. "i guess if youre pretty enough you dont have to brush your teeth anymore"... hahah... scarlett johannson is really gorgeous but yeah.. she does kind of need to work on the dental thing..

red
red

"Bucktooth beaver who can’t stand straight if her life depended on it."

I agree, red. she thinks it makes her look uber sexy.

and no I'm not talking to myself, just to someone that is using the same name as me. I really didn't think anyone would else would choose such a basic color for their name... besides me.

red
red

what the hell. she has a taste for shit.

Pottymouth
Pottymouth

I don't get it! Her hair looks like it was colored with peroxide. Her makeshift dress looks like it was formerly a curtain that was quickly thrown on, tucked in and cut up in necessary spots and the shoes look like they are from the good will! Her teeth are aweful too! I don't see how she could make the list let alone be number 1!!!

AB Libby
AB Libby

....ya know....I had a really bad 80's prom dress made from that same material........I wonder if it's part of the sleeves I ripped off?

Hm.

Kelvin
Kelvin

Pics like this are re-assuring because now I'm certain that that her face has changed since then, and it's not my taste getting worse. I distinctively remember that her mouth at first looked strangely small (as if she had trouble showing teeth when smiling) which really turned me off (it was like the anti-Julia Roberts, except taken to some sort of crazy extreme). Now I can tell that her face has gotten better. Not saying she got plastic surgery, since she's young enough for her face to change a bit, but I wouldn't bet against it.

severe
severe

She looks tacky.. Her teeth are attrocious.. I'd still hit it though.. lol... :D

armageddonouttahere
armageddonouttahere

i think ive sold crack to her before........its a small world after all

pook
pook

she;s cute but the teeth are so very yellow....

zorba
zorba

She just doesn't do it for me. I like the fact that she is not a twig but there is something about her face...not #1 for me.

Jessie
Jessie

Gosh, she looks nasty! In addition to her yellow teeth, her knees look awfully red....

Ralff
Ralff

haha. shes cute. I liked her when she had the mullet.

john
john

i just looked at all the pictures

when the fuck was the kangaroo look in?

i mean how can she stand there and smile in that outfit?

Ashley
Ashley

Probably not, but I never thought Clooney was attractive.

john
john

as far as the gossip links

I'm i the only person in the world that thinks George Clooney might be gay?

Mike
Mike

Oi! Who's stealing my moniker?

I'm capital "M' for the true me.

So, anyways - why isn't she naked again?

NOTORIOUS
NOTORIOUS

Indeed.....someone needs to tell that to her pimp too.

britney-fan
britney-fan

I can't believe I'[m writing this, but she is not that good looking here. And it's not the outfit - it's her face. Yes, her teeth are a disaster, but it's more than that.

real342
real342

ninja, you are correct. You just get them capped every once in a while.

ninja
ninja

i guess when you are pretty enough you don't have to brush your teeth anymore...

mike
mike

number 1 baby!

red
red

Bucktooth beaver who can't stand straight if her life depended on it.

Caliban
Caliban

Usually I go for this woman in a big way, maybe I will just tell myself she was having an off night and just got done drinking a huge coffee, black.

I don't like the dress at all, if you are trying to look sexy/naughty it could have been pulled off so much better. I even dislike her hair being up especially in that dress.

Where is that hot chick in the red dress who was felt up by the skin flute player?

AB Libby
AB Libby

...oh, and the in the rush to leave her pimp's pad, I think she forgot to zip that dress.......

AB Libby
AB Libby

Did she just get her face stuck between someone's ass and the couch? Yikes.

rockeramy1979
rockeramy1979

Ewww, her teeth are yellow and her shoes don't fit right.

evur
evur

Cool I didn't know they made shiny potato sacks.

Lawrence Burnfish
Lawrence Burnfish

Every (hot) girl in the universe should dress like this! Except for the shoes. Don't like seeing the toes, that's weird. It wouldn't take much bending over to get to the goods.