Bastardly MILF Institute Grants Admission To Angelina Jolie

Even if you were too occupied over this Memorial Day weekend you’ve probably read/heard about the birth of Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, aka Baby Brangelina. Every news outlet and blog has probably already done their article/post on this and so there would really be no point for us at The Bastardly to reiterate this news.

Rather we’d like to officially congratulate Angelina’s acceptance into The Bastardly M.I.L.F. Institute. Yeah sure she already had super mega power adoption lottery winners Maddox and Zahara but we had to keep admission from Angelina until she gave birth to one of her own. Other members of this prestigious group include the likes of Brooke Burke, Vanessa Bryant, Elizabeth Hurley, and Denise Richards to name a few.

So in addition to congratulating Brad and Angelina on their heathly baby like everyone else, we’d like to commend Angelina as she has officially crossed the threshold into the world of M.I.L.Filicious.


35 comments
Sort: Newest | Oldest
Jonas
Jonas

Sorry for the late arrival but...

broken: Yeah... your taste is impeccable. However, you'd be surprised at how well I can multi task. Listening comes second nature to me and therefor the occasional "uh huh" is reflex... staring (and basking in the magnificent view) would be no problem. On the other hand this leaves no more brain power to allocate to the job of controlling my salivary glands. So naturally, I would droooooooool. But I'd do that regardless if I saw Angelina Jolie in all her "glories."

baby girl: I'm sorry, but my my brain is now throbbing with pain after the brain cells which are screaming in an agonizingly fiery death after decrypting your rancid English layered under a coat of some horrid %shorthand?%.

"U FUKIN GEEKY SHIT BASTERDS" Yeah about that... I actually just got through with three tests which called me a geek, computer geek and a desktop god. And a bigger one of all of those than anyone else who had taken them. Plus, does growing up without a mother make me a bastard? I so than I'm 100% guilty. (Yes I'd really love to know the answer to this question. I've always wondered but can never really get a straight answer.)

Oh yeah and broken... bi, female and and great taste in other females/relationships... your on the right track girl!

BABY GIRL
BABY GIRL

MANNNNN!!! GET DIS BITCH OFF DIS FUKIN PAGE SHE IS MAKIN ME B SIK MAN!! how da fuk can ppl lyk her shes durt DUTY DUTY bitch she i da uglyist person iv ever seen n a ryt bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jenifer aniston is SOOOOOO betta thn her!!! trust man!! cus angelina fukin jolie luks lyk a man ye!! she dus!!! so 2 all yall lads dat lv her ya gay m8 cus shes a fukin man bitch shes a fish wi big lips n MAN figure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BETTA FUKIN SEND DIS MAN U FUKIN GEEKY SHIT BASTERDS CUS I WNT EVRI1 2 KNO WATA FAKIN BITCH SHE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BABY GIRL
BABY GIRL

MANNNNN!!! GET DIS BITCH OFF DIS FUKIN PAGE SHE IS MAKIN ME B SIK MAN!! how da fuk can ppl lyk her shes durt DUTY DUTY bitch she i da uglyist person iv ever seen n a ryt bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jenifer aniston is SOOOOOO betta thn her!!! trust man!! cus angelina fukin jolie luks lyk a man ye!! she dus!!! so 2 all yall lads dat lv her ya gay m8 cus shes a fukin man bitch shes a fish wi big lips n MAN figure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ronnie
Ronnie

I would lick her pussy in a minute! (Angelina Jolie)!

broken
broken

*dribble* im 14 an im bisexual fukin hell shes hot, but like do you guys/gals all wana fuk her cus of er looks or do u actually care about what her personalitys like? im not one of those ditsy gals hu think im not touching him if he dunt love me cus frankly to me thts bullshite but seriously can anyone say tht if she was half naked in front of you an wanted to chat tht u wud listen insted of dribble over her tits? mmm anyone think tht jenny shimizu (her old lesbian girlfrend) is hot atall???

Chris
Chris

Angelina is so f**king hot. Who wouldn't want the mother of their children to be that smokin. I would run over pedestrians and small animals to get home from work if someone like Ang was waiting for me. And like John said, that picture above "DELICIOUS".

Independent Sources » Blog Archive » I
Independent Sources » Blog Archive » I

[...] Kudos to the Bastardly for being the first to report the obvious. With the birth of Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, Angelina Jolie is officially a MILF. Probably the easiest such announcement in the history of MILFs. The Bastardly notes that other members of this prestigious group include Brooke Burke, Vanessa Bryant, Elizabeth Hurley, and Denise Richards. [...]

Mina
Mina

I've met a couple of Shiloh's. Name's not TOO far out there.

Dustin Diamond
Dustin Diamond

You see, I'm Dustin Diamond (for reals), AKA Screech Powers from Saved by the Bell. I was involved with Lark Voorhies, AKA Lisa Turtle, even though on screen we were depicted as incompatible. (We actually hooked up before I had to go do The College Years, but that's another story.)

She's a religious gal, but she made an exception for me. Never had a kid and man was that pussy tight! We'd lock eyes doing it missionary style and she could always sense when I was about to come. She'd start kegel'ing me into a rythm of ecstasy that felt like a heart beat on my cock. It was inescapable. Every time I felt that if I skeeted I'd be missing out on the biggest feeling of my life. It was good.

Bitch said she was on the pill but she'd didn't always take it. Luckily nothing happened.

Caliban
Caliban

"nostalgia", sorry bad typing, coffee hasn't kicked in yet.

Caliban
Caliban

"Hey, Lark did her kegel’s and she was my first, call me nostalgic."

You kinda lost me I have no idea what this has to do with the fact you need to avoid the thought of having sex with a woman that has had children.

Just because a woman gives birth doesn't mean her pussy is now loose and needs to be tightened with kegel exercises, and I'm not sure what that has to do with nostagila.

Eh, I was just trying to figure out you're point of view.

Dustin Diamond
Dustin Diamond

"LMAO, that is such an amateur statement."

Hey, Lark did her kegel's and she was my first, call me nostalgic.

Actually, LMAO :)

nodakgirl
nodakgirl

Congrats again Lil...can't wait for those links. Good Luck/Kick Ass.

A Thought:

Angie had a C-Section, right? That means she'll have small incision around the proximity of her tat that sez, Latin:

"That which doesn't kill me, nourishes/feeds/sustains me." (depending on how you wanna translate...) And I think that pretty-much-sums-up what Moms think of their kids, too. When your kid's not driving you NUTS...then they're forever making you fall in love with them all over again.

Caliban
Caliban

"It’s easier to fantasize boning something that hasn’t had an 8 pound baby traverse through it.''

LMAO, that is such an amateur statement.

lilyspryte
lilyspryte

PS - Robert Metzgar (Legends Hall of Fame Producer) is the person who sought my husband out after the finals to tell him that Universal wanted to sign him, so he might be recording his album as soon as next month in Nashville. Props don't go to me, they go to my awesome man! Until then I will keep coming in to my office job, pretending like I give a crap about propane trading prices and distribution............. lol

lilyspryte
lilyspryte

nodak, the results will be up in a few days for the site, so I will post linkies then........ but until then I will be catching up on sleep, because I had none over the weekend!

nodakgirl
nodakgirl

GOD you guys crack me up!

(John! LOVED that! PEED!)

But Props belong to Lilyspryte! Congrats, girl. See you at the MTV awards, doll! Give us more dope on this! Pub-shot? Link to an mp3? :) Way to go!

*kathryn*
*kathryn*

the background does look like black beans. kind of gross.

Shiloh Nouvel sounds like a boxed wine.

Pottymouth
Pottymouth

At least Gwen Stefani named their baby something normal. Kingston James McGregor Rossdale. I am glad it's not something fucked up like Shiloh, Apple, Banjo, MoonUnit, Audioscience, etc. etc. etc.

I wonder how much input Bradley had on that name? I think none. I think Brad probably sits there and says Yes to whatever the fuck Angelina says to do!

Still waiting for this relationship to fail...doomed from the beginning! Angelina is too wild to be held down by any man or woman in a relationship. That's why people find her so appealing. I completely lost interest once she hooked up and got knocked up by a married man. There's just something wrong with that!

john
john

"Shilo look at me!

Look at me Shilo!

It's all for you Shilo!"

lilyspryte
lilyspryte

wow, I didn't know until just now................... but I have a fantastic excuse

My husband and I were attending Talent Rock Summer Fest 2006, and he made the fucking finals!!!! Universal is looking to sign him and Trans Continental wants him to write music for their artists........ now THAT is better than the Jolie-Pitt love child arrival in my book. Sorry Ang, my shit won out this weekend, you can't beat the high I am on right now!

Hell yeah!

senin
senin

Shiloh is also a national military park, a civil war battle and some podunk town in Illinois. I read somewhere that her middle name was a possible tribute to the French architect Jean Nouvel. Who the fuck cares. Pass the margaritas.

nodakgirl
nodakgirl

When I heard the name... here's what I thought:

First name: an annoying Neil Diamond song

Second name: why would anyone wanna name their kid after a computer software company?

Seriously, "Shiloh" is one of the terms the Jews have assigned to their forthcoming Messiah, right? So does that mean that Angie can now legitimately throw a fit for any agent, producer, director or studio-head (who are of a "certain" religion) as follows --

"DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM??? I GAVE BIRTH TO YOUR F*CKING MESSIAH, YOU SONUVABITCH! I'LL ONLY DO THE PICTURE FOR $30 MILLION AND 15% OF THE BOX OFFICE!"

Pottymouth
Pottymouth

Tuxman are you fucking serious? You didn't hear this yet? Fuck...it's everywhere! I came to the Bastardly this morning HOPING not to read this on here because I can't fucking stand it anymore. The Bastardly usually doesn't post what is on EVERY other site but I was sadly disappointed to see it on here too. At least it wasn't a headline about the baby and birth itself. I have to give props for the hotness milf headline! Ya know...Gwen Stefani who is also incredibly hot gave birth to a little boy the day before Angelina did. I'd like to see a milf welcome to her as well!

senin
senin

Never said it would affect her hotness.

tuxman
tuxman

I didn't hear that she had her baby!! I'm kinda surprised that I didn't!! But guys seriously, u think a few stretch marks is going to stop making her hot...no they happen. Just the body is just a roadmap of your life.

senin
senin

Pook:

Not all women get stretch marks; it's genetically predisposed.

pook.
pook.

What the hell is wrong with you? women are women. Sorry but they cant pop out your babies in a 12 hour processes without getting strech marks and streching their vaginas. maybe your mothers should have reconsidered having you becuase of the streched vaginas issue and how unappealing it is to men. What the hell? maybe its the media but men expect such things from women nowadays...how can a women weigh 110 pounds but have DD boobs? You should be grateful women do anything for you becuase lord known they have a lot more stuff to do than you ppl. While most men neglect themselves you wont find many women who dont shave their armpits, legs, pubic hair, take carwe of their hair and nails. and make sure their clothes are neat etc. Oh, and also, just like you, they cant wrinkles, thats what happens with ages, they are human too you know.

Now i am not a big fan of Angelina and i say make fun of her all you wont, say what you wont about her looks and personal life but hey say what you guys are saying is just offenseive to too many women.

john
john

it looks like she is lying on a plate of black beans

DELICIOUS!

senin
senin

Oh shit - I just read that she had a C section. Scars and stretch marks??????

senin
senin

Stretch marks or no stretch marks? How about a bastardly survey?

Dustin Diamond
Dustin Diamond

It's easier to fantasize boning something that hasn't had an 8 pound baby traverse through it. Props to science.

sps49
sps49

So are Maddox and Zahara getting tossed aside now?

ninja
ninja

ummm...yeah, some celebrity just spit out a kid. just think, a billy bob coulda' come outta that trap. "buttap****, stretched forever it is" to qoute a wise man.