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Bastarldy Breaking News! Jessica Simpson Likes Rough, Kinky Sex!! OW!

I don’t know about the bruises on her upper thigh, but I’m pretty sure the scab on her knee is from blowing one too many producers. Keep all the deeply networked schlongs pointing up, Jessica!!

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27 comments
YourJustJEALOUS!
YourJustJEALOUS!

shithead

Oh man, she’s fucking hot. I’m sure her attitude is shit, though. Well, I can’t really say for sure, but I can think it. It would take a real witch to make a man leave that, and that is for sure. I wonder if the sex just isn’t that good. That would be a shame, and a waste of such a nice body.

i agree!!!!!!! i like rough kinky sex too ;) who doesnt???!!!!!

steve
steve

she is so pretty and seems nice enough for a celebrity .

YourMom
YourMom

She's probably anemic (iron deficiant) from lack of nutrition. That causes bruising. But then again, she's still a heffer so I dont know.

shithead
shithead

Oh man, she's fucking hot. I'm sure her attitude is shit, though. Well, I can't really say for sure, but I can think it. It would take a real witch to make a man leave that, and that is for sure. I wonder if the sex just isn't that good. That would be a shame, and a waste of such a nice body.

ninja
ninja

i may be very bastarldy, but i'd of left more bruises...in secret places...like that fucking dog's abdomen....and maybe jessica's uterus.

smc
smc

haaha.. lamo

Sonia
Sonia

P.S. Psssst-- not to be a jackass, but Bastardly is misspelled in the headline here.

Sonia
Sonia

Meh, the bruise looks sort of like a shadow and sort of like it's been Photoshopped in... Who freaking cares?

nodakgirl
nodakgirl

The size of that bruise EXACTLY matches the outline of Joe Simpson's hand.

tuxman
tuxman

I know taking your dog around w/ you is this new popular hollywood crazy, they started as u know mini-dogs, or toy dogs, little tiny dogs you can fit in your purse, or handbag. They are more of like an accessory like jewelry then pets. Now look at Jessica's dog, it takes both her arms to carry the damn thing, it's huge. Who's going to be the 1st one to take their rotweiler or german shepard out on the town w/ them - we should take a bastardly poll - haven't seen one in a while Jackson!!! I mean WTF is up w/ the dog craze!! BTW I guessing that she fell sometime - maybe trying to carry that damn huge dog!! I can't really see her taking the paddle for some S & M sh*t, but you never know - if she's down, call me Jess!!

key
key

yeah. gross toes

bad shoes always
bad shoes always

She's so neurotic about her short legs that she always wear these horse hooves for elevation but it makes her look cheap.

senin
senin

Ouch Moe! Those are some NASTY feet.

Jackson
Jackson

sorry folks...fixed the same pics thing.

spankcheeks
spankcheeks

That bruise is where I kicked her for being such a stupid, senseless cooze. She lost her balance and skinned her knee when she fell. Then my boyfriend urinated in her hair and made fun of her "Princy" line. She didn't cry until I told her she had a firecrotch and smelled like diarrhea.

angelfood
angelfood

gotta agree with Senin...doubt she incites "rough sex" - too damn dingy for that...more likely her lack of coordination caught up with her...

senin
senin

Stupid and uncoordinated. Rough sex, my ass. Bitch fell off her platforms.

lol
lol

haha yeah...nick lachey is sweet

nini
nini

anyone who would leave Nick Lachey's cute ass to fuck with a "hairdresser" is on some real ho type shit.

sheila
sheila

she is really rough looking and ugly to me now when she was sweet she looked better now she just looks like an overdone whore

ninja
ninja

she is still great looking. i'd try to leave my mark on that shit too.

she must still have that new car smell and she's still being broken in.

too bad that dog is cock-blocking the boob shot.

harri
harri

maybe she wants sympathy, like when paris hilton got beaten up by nick carter. i mean seriously... who wears short shorts when they have a bruise that big, unless they DO want some sympathy. or crazy sex rumours. either can't hurt her image.

Bobi
Bobi

All pictures look the same.

key
key

thats one huge bruise. and ewww....i hate her shoes