Bastardly Breaking News! Jessica Biel goes to the beach!

I guess I might as well let you folks know that as the pictures progress she doesn’t take off her dress and show us her hot bod… so if you wanna stop looking at the pages I fully understand…or better yet, check out the link from The Bastardly Gossip Network!

-Victoria Beckham’s Breast Shot of the Day!
-Suri Cruise is a piece of paper.
-Angelina Ends Maternity Leave.

-For the ladies… Jared Leto.
-Paris is airing it out again.
-Halle Berry’s Boyfriend Is Prettier Than She Is.

-Brandon Davis resurfaces.
-Baby’s First Gucci.
-Paris Hilton says she’s going to be celibate for a year.
-Nintendo Cartoon Hour

-Britney Knows A Deal.
-Lindsay Lohan, Harry Morton and the Pink Taco.
-Zach Braff wants Jessica Simpson.

-Is Josh Hartnett jealous of Wilmer?
-There’s somthing about Rihanna!
-Today’s flavor of tuna… Jodie Marsh!

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Bastardly Breaking News! Jessica Biel NOT working
Bastardly Breaking News! Jessica Biel NOT working

[...] Usually we post those lovely pictures of Jessica Biel doing her daily routine of stretches, working out, doing lunges, practicing her ninja kick, walking her dog, multi-tasking, going to the beach, walking her dog again, or eating a sandwich. This time, we just have her here… and that’s it! That in itself is some breaking news!!! [...]


The funnest part of this posting... among the a) you can snake a way to get an EXTREME CLOSEUP of Paris Hilton's eyes -- so you can see how f*cked-up those blue contact lenses of hers really are...and b) a great hopscotch to snaps of Pam Anderson on the beach topless with a telephoto lens taken from about a half a mile away. It's a little "grainy," but you can truly see how her nipple region/ariolas are chewed-up and dented and mangled from the implants-in and implants-out and implants-in-again. It's quite horrifying to look at. Deformed. As the narrative stated: "like a crocodile's been teething on them."


wow...i expected paris' junk to be more mangled.

Roller Coaster gurl
Roller Coaster gurl

She dresses like grandma and has the body of a dude...Get it together girl!


Jessica Biel mad me go to the gym. I want a hot body like hers and then have babies with her with both our precious genes. More Biel pics always welcome. Next time please close-ups of JB taking a dump! Thanks, bastards!