Monthly Archives: February 2007

Paris Hilton’s Personal To-Do List Brings Today’s Links

– Britney Spears Borrows Bikini From Stranger & Then Gets Drunk. No Joke [HollywoodTuna]
– Keeley Hazell Topless in Hollywood [Egotastic!]
– Somalia? More like “Fun”malia [Celebslam]
– Howard K. Stern The Pimp? [I’m Not Obsessed]
– Jennifer Aniston Throwback Bikini Pics [Drunken Stepfather]
– John Kerry is bitter and self-important. Plus hot belgian chicks! [The Bastardly Society]

– Marky Mark Creeped out by the Gay Thing [Cele|bitchy]
– Paris Hilton Violates Probation [Yeeeah!]
– Wolfgang Puck Serves up a steaming pile of Hepatitis A [Fatback and Collards]
– Tiger Cubs and Orangutan Babies, Oh My! [CityRag]

– Good Charlotte Pulls All the Hos [IDontLikeYouInThatWay]
– USA vs. UK Babe Showdown – UK Round 1 – Keeley Hazell vs. Sophie Howard [Horny Oyster]
– Britney’s Celebrity Friends Wish Her Well [A Socialite’s Life]
– Katherine Heigl Off Grey’s Anatomy? [Popoholic]

– Aurelie Claudel = Hot [Double Viking]
– Lent: When Jezebel Meets Jesus [CollegeHumor]
– And today’s hottie is… [UseMyComputer]
– Are you a Bastardly Lady of the Day? [The Bastardly]

Future Playboy Playmate Antonella Barba Has Simon’s Support

The sexy Laura Saltman from Access Hollywood actually showed Simon Cowell the Antonella Barba photos & got a very serious response in return.

…Simon got very serious when I showed him several of the photos in question, “You know what, whoever sold those is despicable. I really mean that. It’s despicable. That is private property. Out of order. Honestly. It’s repulsive.” [Access Hollywood: Dish of Salt]

We’re still not sure whether Simon was playing w/ his man-boobies when he answered back, but our people are looking into it.

As for Antonella’s voting scenario, our research has found that it’s a win/win situation whether she stays or gets the boot…

Scenario #1: You vote for her and she stays on…
Amanda will continue releasing more personal photos. Maybe she’ll screw the cheesy club photos & go straight to hardcore porn by releasing a sex tape (that she’ll also fabricate)? Who knows…

Scenario #2: You don’t vote for her…
I’m about 98% sure that Playboy is working on getting this chick for a summer issue. It’s quite simple: She’ll get booted this week, then fly to Cali for her Playboy shoot by the weekend & King Hef will have her on the cover of the Apirl or May issue of Playboy.

I don’t know about you guys, but Jackson & I are voting for Antonella. A big f-you goes out to all of you bastards who think Antonella has a horrible voice (which is probably 99% of you).

And now…another photo of hairy-chested Simon Cowell.

Vote for Antonella Barba tonight on American Idol!

Like, The Bastardly wants everyone to vote for Antonella!

Aren’t we all glad that the blowjob mystery has been solved? Fake or real, either way, I thought that chick was pretty hot, even though we’re distracted by the dick in her mouth. However, we here at The Bastardly still think it’s Amanda Coluccio behind it all. Oh well, we surely know that the pee-pee picture is real, right? Not many passionate fans have been emailing me lately but I thought I’d give a quick response to the latest fanmail received.

Jennifer writes:

get the pictures of antonella barbara off of here. you are ruining her life and your website is heartless

Hey Jennifer! Who the hell is “antonella barbara”? I’ve posted pictures of Antonella Barba but no idea who you are talking in your message!?!? Remember, I’m not that smart… oh, and pathetic scum. I guess since I can’t be heartless as we determined with Shakima’s letter that the website is heartless. Ah yes, it all makes sense now!

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