Monthly Archives: May 2007

Jessica Alba – Bastardly Sexiest Women 2007 – #3

– Kelly Hu Yumminess [HollywoodTuna]
– More Nicole Richie Than You Ever Wanted [Egotastic!]
– Shiloh-Jolie Pitt Already Making Dough. Bastard. [I’m Not Obsessed]
– Paris is going to love her new toilet [Celebslam]
– Jessica Biel & Her Trash [Drunken Stepfather]
– WTF picture of the day [The Bastardly Society]

– J. Alba needs to shut the fuck up! [Dlisted]
– Paula Abdul’s Face Looks Funky [Cele|bitchy]
– What do you think of Emily Scott? [Fatback and Collards]
– Kirsten Dunst Vs. Drew Barrymore [CityRag]

– Why would someone tape this? [Horny Oyster]
– Calum Best Mixes Coke w/ Prosties [JordanIsYourHomeboy]
– Nelly Furtado’s Funky Face [The Blemish]
– Remember Paula Graces? [The Grumpiest]

– Condom Talk [ChugsAndJugs]
– When Will Lindsay Lohan Commit Suicide? [DerekHail]
– Autumn Reeser Will Promote Anything [Popoholic]
– Are you a Bastardly Lady of the Day? [The Bastardly]

More Danielle Lloyd Bikini Pictures: Uh Oh! Someone Likes The Black Meat!! Ow!

If you’re a decent looking white chick who’s A) Not suffering from anorexia & B) Love black dudes, then it seems like South Beach, FL is the place you need to hit up.

Besides that, there were a lot of positive comments (we don’t get a lot of those over here) to our post from yesterday titled, “Danielle Lloyd Bikini Pictures: Does She Need To Lose Weight?

Majority of you bastards felt that D.Lloyd looked perfect & I gotta admit, she looks absolutely amazing in today’s set! Holy God of Pudgy Juiciness!!! OWWW!!

Bastardly Warning! Allan Stokke is “keeping a watchful eye”


Her father, Allan Stokke, comes home from his job as a lawyer and searches the Internet. He reads message boards and tries to pick out potential stalkers.

“We’re keeping a watchful eye,” Allan Stokke said. “We have to be smart and deal with it the best we can. It’s not something that you can just make go away.”


So all you horndoggs out there in Internet land… this is who’s watching you as you stare at pictures of his barely legal daughter. All this hoopla due to that first picture of Allison Stokke.

Allison Stokke – Barely Legal Pole Vaulter! Go Bears!
More Allison Stokke Pictures – Barely Legal Pole Vaulter
Is Allison Stokke Dating a Douchebag?

Bastardly Asks: When Will Lindsay Lohan Successfully Commit Suicide?

Lindsay walks into Promises Clinic for Rich Crack Whores & Alcoholics

The Pulitzer Prize winning Star Magazine (we’re up for it this year!!) writes,

She grabbed a knife and started cutting at her wrists. A friend made her stop.

Lindsay needs to go back into rehab, then spend time soul searching and getting to the roots of her problems. These emotional breakdowns she has are getting worse, and one of these days, she really will kill herself. [Star Magazine]

Was Lindsay using a butter knife?! I mean, how do you start cutting your wrists and not finish the job? Possibly, Linds was on crack @ the time & mistakenly started cutting on the wrong side?

Lindsay, email us your address & we’ll ship over a batch of Cutco Knives that you can use next time you have suicidal tendencies.

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