36 comments
Anti- Goldstein
Anti- Goldstein

GIADA is HOT!!! She looks more like an older Hayden Panitierre. By the way, Goldstein is an obnoxious, pseudo-intellect, long-winded fag who likes to hear himself talk and can't make his wife "happy".

Anonymoose
Anonymoose

I'd say a cross between Leelee Sobieski and Marlee Matlin.

cindy
cindy

cute. looks a lot like natalie portman

Stephanie
Stephanie

she is so cute! really gorgeous on her food shows. though she doesn't look her best in these photos...which is understandable considering she's at the beach.

Goldstein
Goldstein

Nothing that has been said here can be categorized as disgusting, Number 28.

Not until now.

My wife, due to years of untreated yeast infections, found herself to the proprietor of rotten fallopian tubes. But she wanted to have a baby, so she went to the gyno, who suggested she have her tubes scraped, which she did.

Now it was time to get pregant.

The gyno shot my wife up with fertility drugs and then told us to go home and make a baby. There was one problem, though; I had recently thrown out my back (the L5 lumbar, to be exact), and was taking copious amounts of OxyContin to help me with the pain. As anyone who has taken painkillers knows, it's very difficult to get a boner. But we had no choice. The fertility drugs only worked for 12 hours. If we didn't conceive we would have to wait a few weeks and try again. My wife, being the rotten cunt that she is, didn't want to wait. So I had to get it up. I told my wife that the only way I was going to be able to get a hard on was if I looked at some porn before I attempted to pour her the pork.

Long story short. I sat at the computer, furiously stroking, while my wife laid with her legs spread on the floor, behind my seat at the kitchen table, where I get all of my furious stroking done. But I couldn't fool around. I had to bring out the big guns. So I watched an Mpeg of what I consider to be the single greatest come shot in the history of porn: Alicia Rhodes, on her knees, mouth opened wide, bright eyes looking heavenward, while Vince Voyeur sprays a huge load into her mouth.

It never gets old.

The only problem was that by the time I got out of my seat, boner in hand, and made my way down onto the floor, where my wife lay spread eagle, playing with her enormous clit, I would go soft.

We did this five or six times. Me getting hard, getting out of my seat, getting on the ground, going soft.

Finally, I thought I had it timed perfectly. I got out of my seat, aimed my meat at my wife's hole, and prepared to do my business, but something happened on the way to my destination, perhaps I flashed on the image of Alicia looking into the camera and saying, "Your come tastes so fucking good," I don't know what it was, but I prematurely ejaculated all over the floor, instead of inside my wife.

But my wife was desperate. She scooped up the come with her hands and shoved it inside of her.

Two weeks later she was pregnant.

Today is my son's birthday.

Happy birthday, Snake. Your daddy loves you.

pauline
pauline

ewwwww, yucccckkkkkkk, this whole forum was plain disgusting. But some people love disgusting things so that explains it.

Goldstein
Goldstein

Number 25, that goes without saying. Woman's bodies are exquisite. However, I think the face is a very underrated body part, especially when its features are wrenched by ecstacy. Sometimes, when I'm watching a porn, one of the actresses will stop acting, and you can really see that she is having an orgasm, and it's like finding a particularly big nugget in your Ben & Jerry's. Of course, this is a very rare occurence, both the actual porn-gasm and the huge nugget in your Chunky Monkey. But they are worth the wait. For any of you interested in seeing what a real porn-gasm looks like, I definitely recommend checking out the work of Karina Kay. She's very petite, real boobs, looks like any girl you would see at the Supermarket, but when she gets fucked it looks like she's going to blast off into outer space. Simply delightful.

Not my wife, though. She's a turd in a tampon.

dont do this
dont do this

so hot cant wait for her to leave her tiny dicked bf and gets with a real man.

weird people(means some of you, not me)
weird people(means some of you, not me)

goldstein, that is a mean thing to say about your wife, and funny at the same time.hehe

and you forgot to say womans bodies.

man im a girl and womens bodies are just to beautiful, not fat womans bodies ofcourse.

M
M

i've noticed something, and it really doesn't have to do anything with this pic. But when she's cooking, she always wears a shirt that flaunts her big boobs.

she wears nice clothes, and she's loaded. Her grandfathers is Dino de Laurentiis and he's a big producer in Hollywood.

Goldstein
Goldstein

Point taken, Number 19. Giada has sweet little feet. I have never had the honor of seeing Rachel's little piggies, but if they are as compact and the rest of her, I would stick her big toe in my mouth and run my tongue through the cracks of the other ones.

Incidentally, can someone, anyone, please explain to me why women's feet are so tasty, especially when encased in a pair of high heels. I don't undertand why I like it so much. It makes me feel dirty to think like this, and that in turn, makes me want to see it even more.

By the way, I don't even know what it means to make a pussy pop, as this is an expression I picked up from Classic Pornstar Angela Summers, who had a habit of saying this while being fucked from behind. So far, in my truncated and highly unsuccessful sexual history, I have never been able to make a pussy pop, and wouldn't even know what it feels like. I'm sure it feels good. Is there any sensation greater than making a women come? I don't know. Is there anything more beautiful than looking at a woman's face while she comes? Beats me. But If I were a painter that would be my metier; the female face mid-orgasm. As far as I'm concerned, the only evidence of God, not that there is one, I'm only speaking theoretically, of course, is the female face.

Not my wife's, though. She's fucking heinous.

zorba
zorba

I didn't realize she had such huge titties. I might have to watch her show. I would love to bang her and then get a cooking lesson the next day.

caitie harmful
caitie harmful

Oh, Papi....I thought you had better taste than that...

Rachael Ray? Seriously? She'd eat you. She's half walrus...

Big Papi
Big Papi

catie, I'd suck Rachael's or Giada's.....both are way doable and they can both make tasty treats later to get rid of the toe jam taste....

caitie harmful
caitie harmful

#11 - look at Giada's feet and then look at Rachel Ray's hooves and you tell me whose toes you'd suck.

Eduardo "the freek"
Eduardo "the freek"

Goldstein....Making the ones pop, that don't know how to pop or don't know that they can, that is so much hotter.

I do see your point though....I don't know that I would call it funny though.

longpole
longpole

Id screw her just for breakfast in the morning

E. Normous Johnson
E. Normous Johnson

I wanna see her do a porno. The plot could be her standing at her counter in the buff cooking some pasta dish when I come in, toss her up on the counter, and plow away.

Larry B.
Larry B.

Haaa! That's a funny ass caption.

Master171
Master171

Yes, yes....can we please have MORE pictures of her?

megahornyman
megahornyman

cooking oil doesn't have to be used only for cooking! grease her up and turn on da heat!

Goldstein
Goldstein

Rachel Ray is imminently more my fuck-style. I love tiny little tits and a big ass. Don't you? Are you well-acquainted with the carnal abilities of Ashley Blue? Well, you should be. The sound that Nacho Vidal makes when he gives her a cream pie has got to be one of the most chilling yelps in history. It sounds as if he has evacuated his own body.

Rachel Ray would reverse squat-fuck you to death, re-enacting the post-Fordist tendencies inherent in most Brutalist architecture. You would ask her to stop, but that would be like asking the wind to change direction.

I get the sense that Giada is a shoegazer, with the tendency to look down while playing with your fiddle.

Rachel’s voice carries with it a panicky fright, impatient that what she wants she will not get in enough time to enjoy it, which is why she will stroke your nozzle until it explodes in her mouth rather than letting you blast her in the face.

Giada has nice tits, he said, but Rachel possesses the firmest pudding this side of Bunky’s Bakery.

“Stick a finger in my ass,” said Rachel.

“That doesn’t feel good,” said Giada.

“Suck on my toes,” said Rachel.

“My feet are dirty,” said Giada.

“You’re going to make my pussy pop,” said Rachel.

“That hurts,” said Giada.

“I want to taste your cum,” said Rachel.

“Only on my belly,” said Giada.

“That tastes fucking delicious,” said Rachel.

“I can’t believe you just did that,” said Giada.

Big Papi
Big Papi

I would definitely do her.

me
me

GRANNNNNIE BIKINI

GRANNNNNIE BIKINI

GRANNNNNIE BIKINI

GRANNNNNIE BIKINI

GRANNNNNIE BIKINI

YUCK

Johnny Bravo
Johnny Bravo

Barf on that face. Please bag next time.

germ
germ

SMOKIN!!!!!!!

moar of her GODDAMN her tits are huge

Pookie
Pookie

She's as annoying as bronchitis but I'd spread her shitter.

Rasheed
Rasheed

Fugly MANFACE whore. No more, please.

Master171
Master171

I would like to go diving. In her.