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Bastardly Rumor: Is Jessica Simpson a Industry Whore?

Edward Yang said…

I heard a rumor that Jessica Simpson is, as of today, the best fuck in the entertainment biz, and that’s why she’s allowed to stick around, because she’s not really making anyone a lot of money, so I guess they figure they’ll just pass her around until she outlives her purpose, which should be in about ten years. But seriously, she is a fantasy fuck for sure. I heard she’ll do anything and that she talks filthy dirty between the sheets and that everything she learned about sex she learned from the Jackass crew, which to me, means she probably fucks like a porn star, that she’s not stuck up in bed like most young actresses. I would murder my mother to have sex with Jessica Simpson for three minutes, doggie-style, on a couch, with her skirt hiked up, shoes on. I mean, someone please really seriously just kill me already. [Jessica Simpson @ 11TH Annual ACE Awards]

MORE FROM YESTERDAY:
Bastardly Breaking News! Jessica Simpson Didn’t Fall On Her Ass!
Jessica Simpson @ 11TH Annual ACE Awards


30 comments
1 Hr Payday Loan Lenders
1 Hr Payday Loan Lenders

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CATHY R.
CATHY R.

I HATE THAT WHORE. I HATE THAT CUNT. I HATE THAT SLUT. I HATE BITCH. FUCKING WHORE JESSICA. FUCKING CUNT JESSICA. FUCKING SLUT JESSICA. FUCKING BITCH JESSICA. I HATE JESSICA. I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER. I FUCKING HATE JESSICA. I FUCKING HATE HER I FUCKING HATE HER I FUCKING HATE HER.

CATHY R.
CATHY R.

JESSICA DESERVES TO GET GANG RAPED FOR BEING A WHORE. MUHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I HOPE JESSICA GETS GANG RAPED FOR BEING A CUNT. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. JESSICA DESERVES TO DIE FROM AIDS FOR BEING A SLUT. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

-AHAHAHAHAHA. I HOPE JESSICA DIES FROM AIDS FOR BEING A BITCH. MUAHAH

-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Bob Cobb
Bob Cobb

"I would murder my mother to have sex with Jessica Simpson for three minutes, doggie-style, on a couch, with her skirt hiked up, shoes on"

As would I. I would grab those juicy titties and ride her mercilessly.

janice
janice

Edward Yang dont you also go by the name Goldstien?

ninja
ninja

i'd plow her till she shit the bed...it'd be more epic then the john mayer fiasco though...

M
M

Sick of this bitch!

Phillip McCracken
Phillip McCracken

ive been saying this forever.

Jessica Simpson is nothing more anymore than a Celebrity Cum Dumpster.

and JESUS CHRIST HOW MANY FUCKING PICTURES DID THEY TAKE OF THIS BITCH AT THAT EVENT?!?!?!

isnt this the 3rd fucking post with her at that in 2 days?

Eduardo "the freek"
Eduardo "the freek"

Ah...I get you....On sounding bitchy and the marriage stuff. Totally on a similar level.

Ouch...Solar Plexes huh. Why the hell is she with a flake like Marilyn manson. How about David Ortiz....Well now I see why she is dating manson. If she was dating Ortiz he'd probably kill her.

Edward Yang
Edward Yang

I didn't mean that I was gay, I meant that sometimes I think that my voice sounds a little bitchy. Which it does. Even though I love to look at women all day long, especially the ones that are naked and having sex. But that's just because I don't get any. If I got some I probably wouldn't be here. Not to say that every guy/girl here is as sexually frustrated as I am. I'm only speaking for myself, as a married man who's been having non-sex with the same woman for nine years. Everything they say about marriage is true, except for the good stuff, of which there is plenty, but no one wants to hear about that. What people want to hear about is how Jessica Simpson gives the best head in Hollywood. But she's not the freakiest right now, just one of the best. The Absolute Biggest Freak in Hollywood right now is Evan Rachel Wood, who I think is stunning. I've heard some things about her and what she likes having done to her that are pretty hardcore. Evan Rachel Wood likes to have the shit beaten out of her during sex. And I'm not talking some playful choking or light slapping. I'm talking full-on left hooks to the jaw and upper cuts to the solar plexus. That's a little too advanced for me.

Eduardo "the freek"
Eduardo "the freek"

Dang it....I meant comments, not captions....That's the second time.

Eduardo "the freek"
Eduardo "the freek"

That's ok....I lived on the plain. My dad taught at Hollywood high. So I know what you mean about living around rumors. Plus even when you leave the gossip bug follows you everywhere....Like chasing a dragon.

In any event, I would wasn't assuming you had a gay demeaner, because frankly, all the porn talk. I hadn't really put a voice or face to your captions....But most are fun and interesting....

There are always those that won't like you. I think there are some here, that do. So stick around.

Edward Yang
Edward Yang

Yes, Edward, I crave attention. No one at work likes me. That's a shock, huh? But I was born and raised in Los Angeles. Went to school with kinds who ended up in the biz. I'm not in the biz, but I hear all of the gossip and rumors. And I'm not young, but thanks for thinking my voice is. I'll take that as a compliment. You could've also said my voice sounds faggy too, which it does, and I would've told you you were right.

Eduardo "the freek"
Eduardo "the freek"

Edward....But I thought that was "Shampoo" in Julie Christie's hair?

Eduardo "the freek"
Eduardo "the freek"

So, Edward Yang, are you an insider? or related to an inside.

Do tell.

You seem to talk with the gusto of someone speaking the truth, but your depressive, crave for attention side seem to show a more naive, younger nature......

Note: I don't mean crave for attention in a bad way. Some people crave it, some don't.

caitie harmful
caitie harmful

.....Edward....

Why'd you divulge the secret of Hollywood? Now every dumb skank is gonna know.

Edward Yang
Edward Yang

Exactly. That's what separates the girls from the women. Way back in the late 60s/early 70s it was known that if any young ingenue was planning on becoming a serious star she had to -- HAD TO -- fuck Warren Beatty is she wanted to be given the keys to the kingdom. And that was just the beginning. Not only did you have to fuck Warren, but you had to be a good fuck, which means you had to let Warren piss on you, cum in your hair, and who knows what else. Girls who want to make it in Hollywood only have one kind of currency they can use, and that's their sexuality and what they are willing to do with it. I know I'm not telling anyone anything they don't already know, but sometimes I think people forget just how deep it goes. Ask Sharon Stone. Ask Heather Graham. There are literally a million hot girls in and around Hollywood, but the one who can find a way to deepthroat James Woods python or let Joe Pesci shit on them is the one who's going to be considered for the next Ridley Scott movie. This is nothing new and it's been going on for decades. But the next time you see a hot young actress or singer or celebrity and you feel something funny, like you look at her picture and get the sense that there' s some kind of heat wafting off of her, that's because there is, that's because she's probably just been fucked or is going to get fucked later. That's what the IT factor is. And right now Jessica Simpson has it in spades. It's what Lindsay Lohan had a couple of years ago. And make no mistake. I know Lindsay's kind of a joke right now, but a couple of years ago she was like crack to most men in Hollywood. With the exception of Mean Girls, she's never been in anything approaching a hit, or anything that would justify her status except for the fact that every man in Hollywood was trying to figure out a way to keep her around because the stories they were hearing about her approached mythic proportions. Bruce Willis fucked Lindsay when she was 19 years old. Or rather, Lindsay fucked Bruce, and fucked him to within an inch of his life. Her life is even imitating the trajectory of a porn star. Fucking her way through the biz from ages 18 to 22, then rehab, and now she's shacking up with some extreme skateboarder or something, some guy who probably reminds her of a time when her life was a little more innocent. Whatever. I'm done lecturing. I'm becoming a bore. But just remember: the young girls who you see who are being slobbered over are not the most talented girls around, they're just the ones who fuck the best and the most. That's a fact and I defy anyone to prove otherwise.

fatso
fatso

i couldn't get near a hollywood broad to save my life, but i believe edward yang speaks the truth.

when you do the math on how much some of these broads cost the movie studios and record companies, and hear the same rumours repeated over and over with pretty similar details, you have to begin to wonder.

lohan hasn't had a hit movie in years, is difficult to work with, and is clearly a production liability. yet she keeps getting put in movie after movie (until recently). it was common knowledge around vancouver that ben affleck used to bang all kinds of famous and non-famous broads a few years back when he was dating j.lo. hell, it was even rumoured that he had an orgy at the house he was renting and that britney spears was there participating. of course, no one believed it then, but now that we see she's a black hole of depravity, kind of plausible no? and jessica simpson is a financial black hole yet she sticks around. why? her talent could easily be replaced by any girl walking down the street. except that girl walking down the street might not be willing to whore herself around middle-aged rich dirtbags just to have x17 take pictures of her coming out of a nightclub in the early hours of a weekday morning.

Edward Yang
Edward Yang

They're both the best lay in the biz. There are lots of best lays. That's why all the guys in the entertainment biz with any kind of juice or money are always so relaxed and smiling. It's one giant orgy. That's what they don't want anyone to know. That the movies and the records and the television shows are what they in between fucking the plethora of young, fresh pussy that surrounds them 24 hrs. a day. Jessica is number one this week, Kellie Pickler was number one the other week, and next week it might be someone else. The legitimate side of the Industry is exactly like the porn biz except with more bells and whistles. Or, you could say that the porn biz is just a stripped down version of Hollywood. Sometimes they overlap. Bruce Willis LOVES porn stars. Lindsay Lohan has been treated exactly like a porn star for the last three years. Lindsay Lohan was the best fuck in town until just recently. I mean, she made everyone's head explode she was so good in bed. But Jessica is just as good. So is Kellie. Ali Larter is another bonafide Hot Fuck. Which is what the title of Jessica's next album should be if she had any brains. Jessica Simpson's new album: HOT FUCK.

Eduardo "the freek"
Eduardo "the freek"

ACtually I thought Edward said....From somewhere that Kelly Pickler is the best lay in the BIZ. Hey....Maybe they could have a show down!

Noxioius Bob
Noxioius Bob

For you Pretty Kitty

With all due credit to Frank Zappa (brillant man he was)

Catholic girls

With a tiny little mustache

Catholic girls

Do you know how they go?

Catholic girls

In the rectory basement

Father rileys a fairy

But it dont bother mary

Catholic girls

At the cyo

Catholic girls

Do you know how they go?

Catholic girls

There can be no replacement

How do they go, after the show?

All the way

Thats the way they go

Every day

And none of their mamas ever seem to know

Hip-hip-hooray

For all the class they show

Theres nothing like a catholic girl

At the cyo

When they learn to blow...

Pookie
Pookie

I'd arm wrestle her dad for a sniff.

junglegirl
junglegirl

I'm not surprised at all. It's a known fact that Catholic priests are pervs and Catholic girls are whores. Just look at Jessica and her own pervert father.

prettykitty
prettykitty

#3 duh those are always the freakiest ones. didnt anyone ever tell you about catholic school girls?

Big Papi
Big Papi

I thought she came from this religious background. Now she's a fucking whore, with a former priest of a father who serves as her pimp and holds feelings of lust for his own children.

She's a no talent SKANK. Her albums are shitty, and just like Asslee her vocals are hard to duplicate live. I would love to see a sex tape come out soon.