Michelle Heaton @ Ultimo Langerie Store in Dublin

Michelle Christine Scott-Lee, née Heaton (born 19 July 1980, Gateshead, England) is an English pop singer, television personality and sometime glamour model. She was married to former boyband member Andy Scott-Lee, is the sister-in-law to former STEPS singer Lisa Scott-Lee and the sister-in-law by marriage to former Hear’Say singer Johnny Shentall. She and Andy announced the end of their marriage on the 5th June 2008 citing personal reasons. Wiki

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Jack Hunter
Jack Hunter

She looks like a Long Island pro...bugs me.

Shaun
Shaun

Cow. Sell her to a meat processing facility.

Ugly Model
Ugly Model

Not impressed, but I would pork her like a mad man nevertheless.

babette
babette

What nationality are you Ed yang? I'm just curious

Paul UK
Paul UK

Nice gut overhang in the last picture and the very tight waisted skirt didn't do her any favours. She is nothing special, just a Z list pop show group winner. I see more attractive girls walking down the street daily.

d55
d55

ugly

Big Papi
Big Papi

That is proper nasty. A fucking roid head with fake tits and war paint. Whoop dee fucking doo.....

The funny thing is she probably acts like a stuck up bitch as if she's something special.

dorkus2
dorkus2

Is she in the WWF? I think she could break me in half

MadMax
MadMax

You two get a room.

Hallery
Hallery

Everything you write is like poetry. It's been a pleasure. Have a lovely weekend. Please call me Hal.

Edward Yang
Edward Yang

It seems as if in moments our replies will become so skinny that they will be turned into something like poetry.

It's good to be alone sometimes.

Have fun while you're young and beautiful.

There's always men.

They never go away.

I have to go though.

Time to pick my kid from daycare.

Have a nice weekend, Ms. Hallery.

I've had a nice time writing and reading you.

You have a very sweet voice.

I'm sure we'll run into each at the start of next week here on The Bastardly.

kyler
kyler

THIS IS MILEY CYRUS IN TEN YEARS!!! hahaha fuck.

Hallery
Hallery

I recently ended a long, serious, and very tumultuous relationship and I am currently taking a break.

Edward Yang
Edward Yang

You must have a boyfriend, then? Someone special?

Hallery
Hallery

I wonder how skinny these comment boxes will become?

Hallery
Hallery

That's nice. No, I am not.

Edward Yang
Edward Yang

Yes. Are you married? I should probably already know that, but I don't.

Hallery
Hallery

I am in classes for about 14 hours per week right now and I work about 30 hours per week. I like to exercise in my spare time. If I had more time, I would like to travel to more places, particularly coastal areas. Are you really married with a son?

Edward Yang
Edward Yang

So how many hours a week do you have to spend in school, or classes? And between that and your job, do you have any time to do anything else? Is there something you'd like to do if you only had more time?

Hallery
Hallery

That's interesting. BSN=Bachelor of Science in Nursing. I want to become a registered nurse. I already have a BA in Anthropology but that's fairly useless to me these days, unless I am reading National Geographic, that is. I am not exactly sure what setting I will wind up in but I think I like the idea of working in an emergency room. Yes, my job can be stressful and it requires a great deal of patience.

Edward Yang
Edward Yang

What's a BSN?

I'm a copywriter. I write the text that you see on the back of things, like boxes (foodstuffs) and dishsoap and other things people can't seem to do without.

After you get your BSN, then what? do you go to work in a hospital? is the job stressful, or at least more stressful than most jobs? You must have to have a lot of patience to do a job like that, no?

Hallery
Hallery

My apologies for the delayed response. My internet connection is finicky and this makes my forth attempt to post this message to you. I like Baker's Vox a lot. I am a student working on a BSN. I also recently started working with Alzheimer's, Dementia, and patients with other frontal lobe diseases. How about you (provided you're still there)?

smithy
smithy

The picture in post 14? Isn't that FAT Nat Horler the Big German Chav from Cascada?

Edward Yang
Edward Yang

I would like to one day have a book published, but it hasn't happened yet. My favorite authors right now (it's always changing; who I couldn't get enough of when I was in my early 20's [Don Delillo] is not who I am reading now) are Chris Ware (people try and pigeon-hole him as a graphic novelist only, a cartoonist, but he is one of the best fiction writers in America), Nicholson Baker, Philip Roth, Kenneth Goldsmith, George Saunders, Michel Houellbecq, Thomas Bernhard, Curtis White, Joan Didion, Pheobe Gloeckner, J.G. Ballard, Stephen Dixon, Will Eno, Richard Maxwell...I could go on and on. So what do you do to make money and pay for gas?

Hallery
Hallery

You have a really great textual presence, Edward Yang! Have you ever considered writing as a profession (or do you already)? You write very well. Who are your favorite authors? I love J.D. Salinger, Henry David Thoreau, and Kate Chopin to name just three. I have green eyes too but they are more on the blue side of green.

Edward Yang
Edward Yang

Most of the time my eyes are hazel, with a heavy emphasis on the caramel end of the color spectrum. But when I'm really happy they turn bright green.

Hallery
Hallery

I understand. Thanks. I should not have posted mine but since I already did a while back, it doesn't really matter now anyway. What color are your eyes? I think I already know the answer but I don't want to write the wrong thing.

Edward Yang
Edward Yang

I would gladly post a picture of myself, except I don't want anyone to know what I look like. I understand why it doesn't bother other people, but there's something about everyone knowing what you look like that makes me uncomfortable. I prefer to have a textual presence, i.e., I look like what my writing is. So if you have a mental picture of what I look like, it's fine with me if that mental picture doesn't relate to what I really look like. I find social relationships on the web follow different rules than they do in the physical world. I mean, if I was sitting next to you and we were talking, it would be ridiculous of me to hide my face, but it doesn't make a difference her. Although it is nice knowing that when I'm talking to you I'm talking to a beautiful woman. So maybe that's why I don't want to post my picture, because I'm not a beautiful woman.

Hallery
Hallery

I was actually going to ask you if your hair was short or long! You should post a picture of yourself. I am certain that I am not the only one who is curious.

And don't get pissed at me for talking to Ed in this post. He doesn't have an account (Edward-have you thought about doing that yet?) and you all have to admit, he's pretty damned interesting!

Edward Yang
Edward Yang

On a good day, 5'11. My weight fluctuates between 175 and 180. My hair is kept pretty short year round since I live in a tropical climate. Don't want to get the frizzies.

Hallery
Hallery

I read it in an interview she did for a mag, I am sorry the name escapes me now, but she basically said that she couldn't see/reach the back with the bleach so that's how it started. Also, she would just wash it and then let it dry naturally. She is a very cool lady. That's funny. I pictured you with dark hair. How tall are you, Ed?

Edward Yang
Edward Yang

I never knew that she started that trend, and I didn't know that it was basically an accident. That the type of information I love. Did you read that in a book or see her in an interview where she mentioned that? My hair is dark, dark brown. Most people would say it looks black, but in the sun you can see that it's a shade lighter than that.

Hallery
Hallery

My hair is brunette right now. It always has a lot of red in it naturally though so it winds up looking auburn. I love Debbie Harry's Blondie hair. She did that herself because she couldn't reach the back and it turned into a huge trend. I also love blond hair with black tips. What color is your hair?

Racer X
Racer X

She's i-ight.

/it's all in the eyes

Edward Yang
Edward Yang

Who, Jenny? She's a blonde. I think. Who knows. What I was watching was probably a few months old. Her hair could be pink right now for all I know. What color is your hair right now? Is it auburn? Is that what that color is called. I like auburn hair. I also like blonde, brunette, and orange. I've always liked it when I see a girl who had platinum blonde hair but underneath, in the back, it's like, black. So I guess what I'm describing is a two-toned hair color. Kind of like Debbie Harry back when she was first in Blondie.

Hallery
Hallery

So, is she a blonde or a brunette these days?

Hallery
Hallery

Oh, that sounds pretty.

SuperDave
SuperDave

*peeking out of the rabbit hole*

Hallery
Hallery

It is terribly boring today. It's the lack of BLOTD submissions.

So, what kind of pig tails did they decide to go with? I personally prefer pony tails.

Edward Yang
Edward Yang

Yuck. It's been a slow day here at the Bastardly. Hopefully things will improve as the day wears on. Perhaps we'll see some pictures of women that don't look like truck stop waitresses. Or maybe I'm just spoiled. I did spend the entire night looking at internet porn. I have the house all to myself, or at least I did, but that's coming to an end as of tonight after work, which will give me about an hour to look at some of last night's highlights, most of them revolving around Jenny Hendrix, who is positively radioactive.

This comment is taking on the shape of a diary entry, but I don't have a diary, which I'm sure is very irritating to most of you.

Hey, look, Phil McCracken fell asleep at his keyboard. But don't wake him up. He's much better looking when he's dreaming.

Interview with Jenny Hendrix.

"Has being in the business taught you anything?"

"Yeah. I know things that I didn't know before. About what I like and what I don't like."

"Which is what?"

"I like that I know how to do things that, uh, a civilian doesn't."

My obsession with porn is starting to become anthropological and less sensorial. I find that I am searching not for clips of people fucking but of people behind the scenes, talking about who they are in relation to what they do.

Hey, look. Phil McCracken just fell asleep at his keyboard. But don't wake him up. I like him better when he's quiet.

I spent a half hour watching Faye Runaway sitting in a chair while another girl (ten times hotter than Faye, by the way) did her hair and make-up. Faye and the other girl talked about hair. Pig Tails. What kind of pig tail would look best? And so on. I was enthralled, unable to look away. You would think that watching these girls act like girls instead of sex droids would humanize them for me, and it does, but it doesn't make me want to stop watching them get fucked. It just makes me want to watch them get fucked even more, precisely because they have been humanized. And this is what makes me depressed, because I don't want to watch these girls get fucked any more. When I am depressed I have the urge to make myself happy, and nothing makes me happier than watching a pretty young girl get fucked.

The Dreams of Phil McCracken, Pt. 1

Private McCracken!

Yes Corporal Feedback!

Are you sleeping?

Yes Corporal Feedback!

Am I boring you, Private?

No, Corporal Feedback!

I know what my name is, Private. I don't need you to remind me.

Yes, Corporal!

Then why are you sleeping?

When I get nervous I fall asleep, Corporal.

Do I make you nervous?

Yes, Corporal!

Are you frightened of me?

Yes, Corporal!

Why are you frightened of me?

Because you're screaming at me, Corporal.

That's because you're asleep, Private! Who is Jannah Burnham, Private?

I don't know, Corporal.

Then how come you were saying her name in your sleep, Private?

Maybe I heard someone else say that name, Corporal.

You did, numnuts! I said that name! I asked you the same question five minutes ago, before you fell asleep! Private! Private McCracken! Wake up!

Courtney
Courtney

Lol. That pic is perfect. The noses match up exactly.

Weenieroast
Weenieroast

That ain't no woman! That's a man, baby!