STD, Anyone? Paris Hilton & Doug Reinhardt Are Once Again Single!

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The world mourns as Paris Hilton & Doug Reinhardt go their separate ways to battle with painful emotions that follow any tragic breakup. Getting teary-eyed yet? Since we have nothing better to do, we covered the couple’s relationship over the past 12-16 weeks (sounds much longer than 3-4 months) as they enjoyed endless amounts of STD-infested sex inside luxury hotels around the globe.

So, now what?

Well, Paris will settle with yet another guy following a few weeks of “I’m single, again” one night stands with dudes she meets at her scheduled events or at after-parties or while getting gas or coffee—pretty much, wherever & whenever she feels like it.

As for Doug Reinhardt, it’s a bit tricky. He’s now in a special category of guys: Guys Who Have Fucked Paris Hilton. These are all guys we’ll probably never hear about again, but you can bet your ass he’s getting ass each night of the week. As a member of this special club, a few items are automatically assumed:

A. He’s carrying the latest in celebrity STD technology.
B. He can never sleep with the likes of Angelina, Charlize, Alessandra, etc, etc—basically the respectable, famous women of our day.
C. He can always sleep w/ the slutty whores of society—yes, all those beautiful girls who worship Paris Hilton (read her books, wear her perfume), love drunken sex, previously gave blow jobs on the school bus when in high school, currently give blow jobs inside club restrooms, etc, etc.

So yeah, if you think Doug Reinhardt is gonna be a lonely man, think again. That dude has easy access to all the slutty bitches us normal guys think are totally hot, but would never consider touching b/c of one reason or another (she might be a prostitute, afraid of getting STDs, terrified of getting our penis chopped off following initial entry, or simply, don’t have the balls to make the first move). Doug won’t have to worry about making a move w/ the slutty bitches of society b/c they’ll be throwing themselves at him—with legs spread eagle.

And now for some more touching pics of Paris & Doug over the past few weeks…
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11 comments
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CATHY R.
CATHY R.

I HOPE PARIS GETS GANG RAPED,FOR BEING A WHORE. I FUCKING HATE HER. I HOPE PARIS DIES FROM AIDS,FOR BEING A SLUT. I FUCKING HATE HER.

lakers fan in boston
lakers fan in boston

dumb idiot

u messed around with her and u got herpes

some guys r so desperate

Phillip McCracken
Phillip McCracken

u know i hate to say it again, but he seems like one cool motherfucker. straight up pimp.

his suit looked awesome in the last post, IDK, dude just exudes style.

his choice in women is weird, but hey, to each their own.

TORO
TORO

JUST READ THAT PARIS HOOKED UP LAST NIGHT WITH NEW REAL MADRID PLAYER CRISTIANO RONALDO!!..POUR BASTARD!! STD ARE GOING TO END HIM!

meni
meni

Doug doug why thaT slutttttttttttttttt??????? there Are so many nice girls in this world AND YOU CHOOSE THE WORST AND NASTY BIG FOOT BIG HAND AND BIG VAGINAL HOLE , why esa PUTAAAAA? JODETE AHORA U WANT PUBLICITY FOR FREE EH?

dick cheney
dick cheney

call him doug reinsoft after he sees paris naked

Some Guy
Some Guy

Why is this archived in "Hot Chicks with Douche Bags"? Paris is NOT hot.

TORO
TORO

Idiots...they deserve each other...pendejos de mierda!!

skilligan
skilligan

why do we keep paying attention is the question

plulu
plulu

There are not enough words in the English language to describe the distain I have for this waste of flesh.