King Douche Bag: Ashley Cole! He’s on the L.A.SH Again, Everyone!

Perverted Cashley Getting his freak on in L.A.

Some people are dicks. Well Ashley Cole beats that. He’s a delusional fucktard for the false and hopeless life that he leads. Alot of you bastards probably only know him as the one who was gay enough (nothing against homosexuals, btw) to cheat on easily the hottest woman on the planet – Cheryl Tweedy, about 7 times (official stats. my guess? multiply by atleast 5).
Well he’s not only that, he’s also a pathetic, shit footballer as many of you would’ve seen at the World Cup or even the EPL. How pathetic footballers like him expect a raise, I have no idea. Imagine being COMPLETELY shit at your job and then leaving one of the best teams on earth when they offer you a new deal worth £55,000 a week and you say ‘no’ because you wanna hold out for £60k. Greedy A.H/Cole.

Anyways, as the world takes another evil turn, bad things happen to the nicer people first. While poor old Cheryl is recovering from MALARIA, Ashley toasted his divorce as well as an incredibly shit World Cup by going on the pull again in a recent trip to L.A. So much for letting your country down and trying to get over the divorce that everyone is laughing at you about, you ugly mug!
Ashley Cole – you are officially the ‘Twat of the Decade!’

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70 comments
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The Devil
The Devil

Yeah, pretty much, especially cause hot chicks are crazy and entitled and stuck up most of the time. They marry a rich asshole cuz that's who can afford them, get cheated on and then wanna get mad and take half.

Boz
Boz

Fucking douchebag!!

I fucking hate him.

RDouble365
RDouble365

She probably went for him - strategically - after all the commotion of her court case when she was accused of (and acquitted) racially abusing a rest-room attendent, she gave a number of interviews denying being racist and "she liked light-skinned black men".......so it fitted nicely in her "image remodelling" to have a light-skinned black man, up-and-coming very good football player in Ashley Cole as her boyfriend. She's probably glad to see the back of him LOL but not in these humiliating circumstances!!

salma
salma

hahahha you are so lovely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tehcali
tehcali

They were out from that point anyway so I dont see why they wouldnt go out for a comiseration drink its nothing but normal in england besides which the guy banks over £120k a week pre bonus/endorsement.

re: the cheryl thing ye he fucked up but as they say show me an attractive woman and ill show u a man whos grown tired of fucking her

major_got_banned
major_got_banned

you can't stop these chinese dudes. cole has london on lock.

Freep
Freep

well sugababes have a 2 year head start on GA/i cant believe this argument happened.

Voice of Reason
Voice of Reason

Sugababes don't have shit yet they are considered the most successful female act of the 21st century. That must make Girls Aloud a skidmark.

zee
zee

I fell for you ages ago my catalunya-chick! ;)

Caitie Harmful
Caitie Harmful

Wherever there's a HAWT chick, there's some stupid motherfucker who needs to stick his dick in some swampy va-jay-jay.

The Devil
The Devil

Say it with me now, "wherever there is a HAWT chick, there's a guy out there who's tired of fuckin' her".

Stop blamin' the dude. She knew he was a dick. She married him and stayed married to him. Now, he's movin' on like he should be.

The Devil
The Devil

That's probably when he should've gotten pissed the most. I mean, losing makes you wanna get tore up.

zee
zee

hahah nice one!

Freep
Freep

talent doesnt matter but for argument sake GA has like 20 straight top 10's and a handful of #1's. sugababes dont have shit.

salma
salma

hahahahahahahaha

that is so fucking romantic

Caitie Harmful
Caitie Harmful

Just be forewarned, your closet may be depleted...

Voice of Reason
Voice of Reason

I know what you said...and I said in terms of talent :P

Urmmm which line-up? We'll go with every single change.

Freep
Freep

Salma, I'll fuck you till you love me.

Voice of Reason
Voice of Reason

The only thing he loves is himself, his money and the dick on his head.

salma
salma

and when will you finish with the big change?

Freep
Freep

i can because around the 5th or 6th grade a fundamental change happened in me. I started to become a MAN!

salma
salma

hell yes, anger sex with my Bowser, good one mi amor, good one...

salma
salma

looooooooooooool

Caitie Harmful
Caitie Harmful

No problem. We'll send you the bill for our services later.

^__^

Bowser
Bowser

I just wanted to get you mad so you can take out your frustrations on me

salma
salma

Thank you, I'm really learning on this bastardly web! lol

salma
salma

I really can't picture that...

FallenRawToast
FallenRawToast

HOT = HAWT (just a silly way of saying it out loud)

salma
salma

say it again and no sex for you Bowser!!!

salma
salma

it said HAWT (or something like that) and I remember cause I don't know what HAWT means

lazydayz
lazydayz

It was Moe, that Bastard! Damn you censorship! What is this moejackson.com or Stalinist Russia?

salma
salma

because he loved her and you care about people you loved once when they are in a fucking hospital, I mean, he loved her right? but he's actually doing the same he did when he was with Cheryl, having sex with other women

Freep
Freep

zee covered up the boobie too!

Freep
Freep

in my head i replaced chezza's hair with Sarah's tits.

lazydayz
lazydayz

Did the title of the article just change, or am I just going completely batshit insane?

salma
salma

FML I don't understand almost anything in brit accent...She was so in love with him, don't like her hair on that interview

Freep
Freep

well i said in terms of looks.

which sugababes lineup? lol and ive only heard them on that walk this way song with GA and that here come the girls song.

Voice of Reason
Voice of Reason

In terms of talent, as far as their music is concerned: Sugababes > Girls Aloud.