Can someone please give Scarlett a hug?
No Matter how hot the woman, there will always be some dude tired of banging her… Old Klingon proverb (Via Jason’s Rihanna/Matt Kemp breakup post from yesterday.)
We should start all celebrity breakup posts with the same line. I hope all you ladies don’t take any offense b/c let’s admit it, when dudes are overflowing with fame & fortune, boredom sets in far quicker than if some average dude was dating these chicks.
For the record, let’s review the joint statement released by Scarlett & Ryan Reynolds (via People):
“After long and careful consideration on both our parts, we’ve decided to end our marriage,” they say in a joint statement. “We entered our relationship with love and it’s with love and kindness we leave it. While privacy isn’t expected, it’s certainly appreciated.”
According to a source, Johansson initiated the split. The actress has started apartment-hunting in New York City and is currently in Jamaica with some girlfriends, the source adds.
Bastardly Translation: “After long and careful consideration on both our parts, we’ve decided to end our marriage,” they say in a joint statement. “We entered our relationship with love and had crazy sex nearly eight times a day & now it’s barely once a week, so it’s with love and kindness we leave it. In conclusion, we want to fuck other people at our own convenience & now realize that marriage isn’t for the rich & famous. While privacy isn’t expected, it’s certainly appreciated. Bitches.”
But, can you believe it?! Celebrity relationships are falling like flies, but as we’ve stated repeatedly, with tragedy comes juicy opportunity & each breakup allows others who’ve been patiently waiting on the sidelines to have a taste. Over the past week or so we’ve seen the following breakups:
1. Rihanna/Matt Kemp
2. Vanessa Hudgens/Zac Efron
3. Liz Hurley/Obscenely Rich Indian Dude
4. And now, Scarlett/Ryan Reynolds
At least one thing’s for sure, there will be a healthy supply of available hotties at various celebrity-packed holiday parties, not to mention parties during the upcoming award season.
On that note, in a perfect world where fame & fortune weren’t a criterion for sex w/ extremely beautiful women (i.e. doesn’t exist), let’s turn our attention to the following poll…
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