King Sugar Daddies: Scarlett Johansson Ripe For Rebound Lovin’! Who’s Next?!

Can someone please give Scarlett a hug?

No Matter how hot the woman, there will always be some dude tired of banging her… Old Klingon proverb (Via Jason’s Rihanna/Matt Kemp breakup post from yesterday.)

We should start all celebrity breakup posts with the same line. I hope all you ladies don’t take any offense b/c let’s admit it, when dudes are overflowing with fame & fortune, boredom sets in far quicker than if some average dude was dating these chicks.

For the record, let’s review the joint statement released by Scarlett & Ryan Reynolds (via People):

“After long and careful consideration on both our parts, we’ve decided to end our marriage,” they say in a joint statement. “We entered our relationship with love and it’s with love and kindness we leave it. While privacy isn’t expected, it’s certainly appreciated.”

According to a source, Johansson initiated the split. The actress has started apartment-hunting in New York City and is currently in Jamaica with some girlfriends, the source adds.

Bastardly Translation: “After long and careful consideration on both our parts, we’ve decided to end our marriage,” they say in a joint statement. “We entered our relationship with love and had crazy sex nearly eight times a day & now it’s barely once a week, so it’s with love and kindness we leave it. In conclusion, we want to fuck other people at our own convenience & now realize that marriage isn’t for the rich & famous. While privacy isn’t expected, it’s certainly appreciated. Bitches.”

But, can you believe it?! Celebrity relationships are falling like flies, but as we’ve stated repeatedly, with tragedy comes juicy opportunity & each breakup allows others who’ve been patiently waiting on the sidelines to have a taste. Over the past week or so we’ve seen the following breakups:
1. Rihanna/Matt Kemp
2. Vanessa Hudgens/Zac Efron
3. Liz Hurley/Obscenely Rich Indian Dude
4. And now, Scarlett/Ryan Reynolds

At least one thing’s for sure, there will be a healthy supply of available hotties at various celebrity-packed holiday parties, not to mention parties during the upcoming award season.

On that note, in a perfect world where fame & fortune weren’t a criterion for sex w/ extremely beautiful women (i.e. doesn’t exist), let’s turn our attention to the following poll…

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84 comments
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Boz
Boz

please add 'poke' button... jk, that poke button is lame.

FallenRawToast
FallenRawToast

Yeah I think 5 minutes is too long a window of "opportunity", Id be happy with 30 seconds even.

Freep
Freep

or inversely disagree with one of d55's comments and get 7 rocks and then edit it to what she just said lulz

Freep
Freep

but lets be serious i would reply to any one of leni's comments with "fuck you" and instantly get 15 hater alerts and edit it to "i like kittens" good fun but ultimately retarded

FoxyRoxy
FoxyRoxy

Trust me, native English speakers make tons of grammatical errors as well.

Boz
Boz

that edit button will be a great Christmas gift for the non English speaker who makes assload of mistakes.. like me.

d55
d55

Fuck yes!!!! I'd abuse that button. I make a lot of typos.

McPerv
McPerv

Jesus, olny all teh fucking time.

salma
salma

hahahahahah LOOOOOOOOOOOL

me too, my english needs it

dinodan
dinodan

i defienenenty nead it

Moe
Moe

We're thinking about having an edit option which allows for editing comments for 5 minutes after you leave a comment. Would anybody even use it?!

The Devil
The Devil

Oh, you mean bolt ons.

Gotcha.

lucinbanks
lucinbanks

Agreed. Her face is not attractive.

She is not fat.

lucinbanks
lucinbanks

Agreed. Her face is not attractive.

She is not fat.

Boz
Boz

okay that makes sense you know.

FallenRawToast
FallenRawToast

I just wish Woody Allen films didnt bore me to tears.

dinodan
dinodan

I comprendo the boob thing.

As for Scarlett I am not a fan of the face, most of the time it looks like she is looking through a fish bowl.

BryanZee
BryanZee

Girl can have boobs and be slimed and toned.

Comprende?

Boz
Boz

I had fun watching that too.

Boz
Boz

eu....nough. okay.

lazydayz
lazydayz

Too far Boz! Okay no more eunuch talk for today.

Boz
Boz

eunuchs eunuchs eunuchs eunuchs.

lazydayz
lazydayz

*after her

Moe, where's the goddamn edit button?

lazydayz
lazydayz

I wonder if Al Gore is after then.

lazydayz
lazydayz

Fun word to say, not to think about.

JonYo
JonYo

Scarlett doesn't have to be your favorite, not even in your top 50, but if you're going to say she's ugly, well... you're just embarassing yourself.

FoxyRoxy
FoxyRoxy

Are you kidding? Me neither, I wouldn't even hesitate, not for a nanosecond!

Me want Leo!

Boz
Boz

I will never turn him down. hehe.

FoxyRoxy
FoxyRoxy

Looks like she had plenty of fun in Vicky Christina Barcelona.

FoxyRoxy
FoxyRoxy

No no no, no more eunuchs.

I love that I've had the opportunity to use that word two days in a row now.

FoxyRoxy
FoxyRoxy

But she would be a fool if she turned him down, a fool I say!

lazydayz
lazydayz

That kinda defeats the purpose.

CARCAR
CARCAR

Scarlett iS hot ... even her name is hot

Bolt Uprite
Bolt Uprite

Scarlett needs to do a film where she has fun.

Larry Sanders
Larry Sanders

I'm really struggling to think of something I wouldn't do to get with Scarlett.

McPerv
McPerv

Nice, thank you.

Naughty Little Girl
Naughty Little Girl

I would do anything to have 5 minutes alone with her and her boobs.

Some of those photos... She knows how to turn a girl on.

Ari
Ari

I just love her : ) She seems like a cool gal too.

Larry Sanders
Larry Sanders

Nu-uh man. I said it wasn't true about Rihanna, so there's no way in the world it's true about Scarlett.

The Devil
The Devil

I better NEVER be allowed in the same room as Scarlett Johannson.

Y'all gonna hear about it on the news, str8 up.

The Devil
The Devil

Lemme guess, because she has boobs, you think she's fat?

Boz
Boz

No Matter how hot the woman, there will always be some dude tired of banging her...

that makes sense, you know..

Boz
Boz

lol.