I’m Sorry, But “American Idol” Really Sucks Without Simon Cowell

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

First, the positive: Steven Tyler’s a horny, old man on crack & that’s always amusing to watch. I also loved how he made a comment about JLo’s legs to Randy when she walked to the audition stage to hug some chick.

Now for everything else…
Overall, the show seems very fake, even more so than the past couple years when you could tell shit wasn’t going well backstage. Simon Cowell’s witty, sarcastic personality is woven deeply into the fabric of “American Idol” and the producers who’re in denial of this fact are only gonna be disappointed. Granted, “Idol” will go on to make millions for everyone at the top, but after watching the premiere last night, I can say with confidence that the show’s best years are definitely behind it.

Also, who the fuck chose Jennifer Lopez as a judge? It’s possible the network’s making a play at bagging a ton of new Latino viewers, but come on now! J.Lo’s either too worried about the negative affects on her image or she’s too annoyingly sensitive. How can you hire an over-sensitive judge on a singing competition known for its harsh critiques?! Totally fucked up.

Regardless, I can recall myself on numerous occasions thinking of how Simon Cowell would react in certain situations. For instance, if a girl who obviously can’t sing is on her knees begging for a ticket to Hollywood, then Simon would simply take one for the team by playing the insensitive bastard card & call security to escort her ass out. There were a handful of similar occasions when people obviously sucked ass, but Jennifer Lopez was consistently the weakest link when it came to throwing people out.

As for Randy, he’s playing more of a babysitter role this year. I hope he doesn’t lose it on live TV b/c I can see frustration setting in quickly. He has obviously made the decision to ride “American Idol” to its deathbed and who can blame him w/ those fat paychecks?

I understand all this scrutiny might be a lil’ too harsh & too early in the game, but I just didn’t like what I saw last night, that’s all.


11 comments
The Devil
The Devil

Maybe it will finally get canceled and Fox can be good again.

DarrylMusashi
DarrylMusashi

American Idol, like most reality TV (if not all), always sucked balls anyway. It's no worse than it ever was.

Boz
Boz

I watched it last night and it was fucking boring, not even funny, the talent are mostly boring. I want Simon fucking Cowell.

Freep
Freep

dude it sucked with him for like the last 8 seasons

McPerv
McPerv

I thought it was OK, JLo is a fur whore diva but manages to come off well in her movies and here. And she's really fucking hot for a 41 year old mother. Tyler was excellent. Randy adds nothing.

Angus
Angus

It was so so last night.

Not as bad as I thought it would be but it is going to die without Simon.

They need to fire Randy, they should have fired him since the first season. He sucks bad.

They need to get Lyor Cohen in there ASAP, the American Simon. He might be able to save the show.

lazydayz
lazydayz

The only reason to watch the past few seasons has been to see the terrible auditions in the beginning and to see Simon be a dick. J Lo is unbearable and Steven Tyler's face frightens me.

FoyFoy
FoyFoy

I'll stick to X factor American Idol has always been boring as fuuuck

skilligan
skilligan

it is still early but I think the show is done either way, what new thing can happen there?