Photo Credit: Fame Pictures Kate Middleton boarded a plane of the Royal Canadian Air Force at London’s Heathrow Airport to travel to Ottawa for their first overseas tour as a married couple. The 11 day tour will take them to Canada and then onto California. Great use of public funds!!! Long live the Queen!!
Florence Brudenell-Bruce went for a camera-whoring stroll through Notting Hill.
– Tara Reid: Keeping It Klassy [Dlisted]
– I See Your Pokebra, and Raise You a Nintendobra [Unreality Mag]
– OUCH!!! Amber Rose Dropped From Agency After NSFW Photos Leak [Complex]
– Ewan McGregor And His Wife Welcome A Fourth Daughter [I’m Not Obsessed]
– That’s what Kelly Brook wears to go grocery shopping [Celebslam]
So let me the curmudgeonly pill who says it: Tom Hanks’s best work since Forrest Gump is his trio of voice performances in the Toy Story trilogy. Nothing else he has done since his back-to-back Oscar wins for Philadelphia and Forrest Gump approximates the sheer ubiquity or unfettered joy of his vocal portrayal of Woody the Toy Cowboy. It may seem like a strange conundrum for a man whose career stalled a bit after being crowned America’s Favorite Leading Man: none of the projects he has featured in since Saving Private Ryan have found the same level of critical or popular adoration as his streak of successes in the early 90s. You’ve Got Mail, The Terminal, Ladykillers, Charlie Wilson’s War, Catch Me If You Can, The Green Mile, and even Apollo 13 provided Hanks with the kind of star vehicles one would expect to fully exploit his wattage as a marquee star . . . but they are remembered today primarily for the potency of story or, frankly, Hanks’s attempts to break away from his nice-guy image.
Which is why one watches Larry Crowne with a sizeable dose of resignation. Hanks is back directing his second feature starring himself and America’s Sweetheart Julia Roberts in a film so tepid and predictable (and, at times, outright dull) that you have to wonder what Hanks wanted to achieve in signing up for triple duty (he co-wrote the screenplay with Nia Vardalos) for the season’s most disappointing cinematic offering.
Some will say, oh the film is relevant because it deals with unemployment and the idea of existential reinvention and rediscovery in middle age . . . but it only barely knocks on that door before deciding that it would rather unravel at the corner of Cliche and Boiler Plate smack dab in the center of Yawn City. Don’t believe me? Try this synopsis:
Hanks plays Larry Crowne, an affable everyman who has spent the better part of his professional life working at a discount warehouse where he was employee of the month but suddenly finds his services unwanted. So what does he do? He sells his car, buys a scooter, and goes back to college to study public speaking. His professor is a bitterly married woman (Roberts) named Mercedes Tainot. Crowne quickly becomes her favorite student, finds ways to make her realize that she should really be with him, and . . . well, you know the rest.
It’s not that Larry Crowne is a bad film: indeed, far from it. But it’s just so gosh-darned nice and pleasing and simple and goes about exactly as you expect it to that when you come out of the theater you might (if you’re like me) wonder if you actually saw anything at all. The film plays as a montage of ’90s romantic comedy cliches, so much so that you will recall the Tom Hanks-Julia Roberts-Meg Ryan-Drew Barrymore films of yore before you remember anything about Larry Crowne. And cynical critic though I am, I doubt that was their original intent.
Chanelle Hayes, a 23 year old English reality TV Z-lister, was vacationing Portugal with her young son Blakely. For those of you who give a shit, Chanelle’s currently ripe for rebound sex, that’s assuming you have the cash flow and/or patience to deal with a chick who’s claim to fame “Big Brother.”
Before we let you bastards go, what’s Chanelle’s Meat Lovers Rating?
Here’s more info about her:
Chanelle Jade Hayes (born 11 November 1987) is an English television personality, singer and model. She was a student at NEW College, Pontefract, Wakefield, West Yorkshire, studying Spanish, Music & English before becoming well known by appearing on the Channel 4 reality show Big Brother in 2007 when she was 19 years old. [Source]
Unlike his older brother, Prince William appears to smarter in that he fully understands his extremely fortunate position in life. He’s second to the throne (i.e. not going to ever be King) and most importantly, he’s blessed with a life of luxury that’s funded by the people. So with that in hand, why shouldn’t he have a little fun?!
Enter Florence Brudenell-Bruce.
They’ve apparently been dating for the past four weeks (of course, by “dating” we actually mean Prince Harry calls her up when he’s bored & wants to have sex). Sadly, Florence probably thinks she’s also gonna have a fairytale wedding like Kate’s a couple months back and who can blame her, right? Let’s hope she can manage to keep her legs closed or at least open them very sparingly in hopes to also hit the Royal Jackpot!
Look for Rachel Bilson this Fall on as Zoe Hart on CW’s new show Hart of Dixie. The show also stars Jaime King and Scott Porter where Rachel plays a doctor “transplanted from New York City to Bluebell, Ala., forced to maintain a small medical practice on her own.” Learn more about Greenware Drink Cups too!
Supermodel mommy Alessandra Ambrosio was spotted enjoying NYC with her husband Jamie Mazur & daughter Anja yesterday afternoon. The Brazilian-flavored Victoria’s Secret Angel walked along the Highline dressed in super-short short-shorts (that makes sense, damn it!!). When shorts are this short, why not just walk around in a bikini bottom? We’ll have more super-short short shorts later in the day.
Anyway, besides the Highline, Ale also took time out of her busy hottie schedule to hit some stores in SoHo! She was keepin’ it real by doing some bargain shopping at the popular Japanese store Uniqlo on Broadway. What the hell does someone like Alessandra Ambrosio buy at Uniqlo b/c I always thought she was an Off-Broadway type of gal…
Even if Shia LaBeouf did get a piece of Megan Fox, so what, right? After taking possession of Megan for such a long ass time, you’d think the dude would be cool with sharing his number one asset. Plus, it’s Hollywood & there’s only a maximum of three degrees of sexual separation between all A-listers, so if you think certain two people have hooked up at some point, you’re probably right.
Having not watched one minute of NBC’s The Voice, we don’t know who’s who but we can report that none of these ladies won the competition. Javier Colon was apart of Maroon 5’s Adam Levine’s team and with the title of being the first winner of The Voice comes a recording contract with Universal Republic, a $100,000 cash prize and a featured role on The Voice summer tour.
The Voice returns for a second season set to premiere following next year’s Super Bowl. For more info on this season’s show, visit The Voice at NBC.com.
In a recent interview with Glamour magazine, Heidi Klum opened up about her bedroom behavior with husband Seal, giving us insight on how the couple keeps the fire going in their marriage. Also, her Wildlife Jewelry Line by Heidi Klum is coming soon to QVC.
“There’s nothing wrong with a nice garter belt. I’m not saying you have to put up a pole in your bedroom and start swinging off the rafters. But I love that sometimes!
“He’s even hot when he’s sleeping. He’s a beautiful man. He’s kind, he’s a gentleman, and I watched him last night on stage, and he still rocks it. I’m like, ‘Yeah, that’s my man!” [Source]
Tiger Woods surfaced at the opening ceremony for the AT&T National Golf Tournament sporting a beard, in an attempt to shed his old beardless manwhore image. Don’t know about the bastardly consensus, but Tiger needs to give the media the finger & walk around with two hot chicks around him all times. Why not embrace your weakness as opposed to getting some bullshit counseling? It seriously doesn’t make any sense…
So, what’s the official take from all you Bastardly Ladies on the new bearded Tiger??
Also, for those of you looking to caption the photo w/ Horny Tiger Wood thought bubbles, make sure you use the photo on the next page.