Beautiful White Women & Hot Black Chicks: Russell Simmons Is Single Again.

Photo Credit: WENN

The King Sugar Daddy of all King Sugar Daddies is once again single after declaring his long distance relationship with hottie Melissa George was impossible to maintain. In a recent Tweet, Uncle Rush writes, “Long distance relationships are to say the least difficult. For me & Melissa a few weeks ago… We agreed impossible.”

Google Sugar Daddy Translation: “Long distance relationships don’t allow me to have sex on my schedule. I must have sex when I’m feelin’ it b/c let’s face it, I’m not getting any younger. For instance, when I need a blowjob, I needed to fricking wait for one of my private jets to either transport me to Melissa’s location or pick up Melissa from her location & that’s not right for someone who’s worth upwards of $340 million. For me & Melissa (yes, I can speak for her), we both agree that long distance relationships are impossible & finding hot women locally in the New Jersey, NYC area is in the best interest of my aging, Viagra-induced penis. Please don’t Tweet me for sex or wanting to become my girlfriend. Contact my agent and/or PR personnel.”

Joking aside, for Melissa’s sake, let’s hope it was mutual since having sex with w/ the hip hop mogul will undoubtedly open doors to opportunities galore in the near future. As for Russ, I’m sure chicks are already lining up outside his agent’s office to audition for the “Russell Simmons’s Sex Toy” position, so I’m sure his PR people are gonna have some great sex for the foreseeable future. Bastards.

So with that in hand, who should Russell Simmons date next? Any ideas?

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4 comments
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McPerv
McPerv

Nah, this guy probably spent the first 30 years of his life lusting after white women he couldn't get. Now he just wants the white women and to make them lick his rich black taint.

Moe
Moe

If Halle, Meagan Good, Gaby Union or others throws themselves on him, there's a chance...

McPerv
McPerv

Hot black chicks? Yeah right, like Russell Simmons is going to go for a black chick, this dude's all about the white stuff.

skilligan
skilligan

i like her a lot but he will find another hottie quick