Awww! A little boy wishes for his teddy bear to come to life one day! What is cuter and sweeter than that? I repeat: awwww!
Huh whoops. Guess he should have read the disclaimer on making wishes. Actually, be glad he didn’t, because then we wouldn’t have the screamingly (and I mean screamingly) funny movie Ted, the new “talking teddy” picture from Seth MacFarlane that is (wait for it) the funniest movie of the summer. And yes, I saw Dictator. I am also still recovering from That’s My Boy. Oh the perils of being a critic.
Let me first say that the chances of you howling your way through this movie from beginning to end (as did I) are greatly enhanced if you “get” the humor of Seth MacFarlane, which is put on raucous display every Sunday at 9 on Family Guy. That means raunchier than hell, offensive for offense’s sake, and where nothing is scared. I repeat again: nothing is sacred. If your sensibilities are more delicate than that, go stand in line with the crowd from People Like us. The rest of us want to have a good time.
The movie starts when a little boy of 8 named John (played as an adult by Mark Wahlberg) wishes for his teddy bear to come to life. He does, except not until John is 35 and involved with Lori (Mila Kunis). Lori does not take kindly to Ted (voiced by MacFarlane) because he’s an indecent, crude, and obnoxiously wicked teddy bear who’s only interested in the gratification of his own . . . stuffing? The sequences that make up the “plot” are many and hilarious – suffice is to say, you won’t be buying any stuffed animals for your little niece or son again without wondering “What If . . . ?”
Wahlberg does well in his role, as does Kunis playing the “straight” woman in the film (my one grudge is that she could have been so much funnier), but there’s no shortage of laughs here. I have a feeling this is going to be a monstrous hit and, for once, I cannot wait for the sequel. Until then, it’s back to the attic in my parents’ house to see if my old stuffed animals are getting high and telling masturbation jokes.