Visit the film’s official website!
First clue that The Expendables 2 is a godawful disaster of a movie? Their leading quote of critical praise from Slashfilm, proudly proclaiming it the “Best Action Film of the Year.” The year in reference is this one – 2012 – which includes movies like The Dark Knight Rises, The Amazing Spider-Man, The Hunger Games and, of course, The Avengers. Um, yeah . . . whatever you say.
Second clue that The Expendable 2 is a godawful, terrible, horrible, heinous disaster of a movie is the fact that it purports itself as a classic action tale with classic action heroes . . . with a median age of 64. Really? This is supposed to be the lure that draws the crowds into the movieplex? A cast of 80s actions tars like Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and the born-again biological error that is Chuck Norris? If you ask me, the makers would have done much better to take the same cast and make a movie about how these about-to-enter-their-twilight-years seniors-on-the-cusp-of-a-viagara-overdose would be affected by Paul Ryan’s Medicare proposal should it become law. I once saw a Golden Girls episode about the very same. And it was hilarious! And Betty White was in it! And Bea Arthur! And don’t even get me started on Rue and Estelle. Man, those ladies could launch a punchline.
Unfortunately, their geriatric male counterparts in 2012 can’t launch anything (that includes missiles, grenades, and the soft currency in their leather underpants) who are thrown together in a story about . . . how old dudes want to kick ass. Oh, and there’s Liam Hemsworth and Yu Nan thrown in to make things look like they’re young(ish) and diverse(ish). If there were a story, I could tell you what it was. Since there isn’t, here’s the premise: The Expendables are reunited for what is supposed to be a routine excursion of spying, espionage, and murder. Take out the bad guy. Simple enough, right? But then one of them is killed and it’s personal. (I know, how original). Yadda yadda yadda, Stallone mumbles something unintelligible and we get a peek at Old Arnie’s sagging man boobs. And there goes my popcorn.
I wish I knew how to convey just how bad this movie is. It’s basically Battlefield Earth bad. It’s economic crisis of 2008 BAD. It’s like Lindsay Lohan without makeup bad.
Stay away. You’ve been warned.
We can only hope.
lol shes hot, saw her in a bikini in smallville..also kobe ppft i quit WoW a year ago :O
Nookies is going to email that pic to his guild leader lol
I'm working on the pictures currently. You can find them later in the usual place. Oh, and Nookies just for you:
http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8424/7785144746_13976a8270.jpg
That's right, Laura has a World of Warcraft cup. Heh.
Do I get points for touching Laura Vandervoort over the weekend? That's like Miranda-lite who happens to be Kreuk's cousin, right?
Abba must be a girl that cant appreciate manly men blowing shit up and lots of death. Also take it he/she wasn't a fan of 80's action movies. So fuck off.
Olga, Miranda and Kristen Kruek.
Haha, 23 days to go and counting. It's happening! Tell me who else not to touch.
Since we dont have profiles anymore I'm just commenting to remind you to not touch Olga's hair.
You will die slowly.
The first one was above average, which I guess is what this one will be. And it is exactly what you think it is. It could be better, but that would mean the really big names have to relinquish their control. Not going to happen. But yes, I will watch it this weekend.
Remarkably, there's a movie in the works called Trigger Reaction coming out next year that is going to be the bizzaro version of Expendables. We're talking Bolo Leung, Cynthia Rothrock, and Mattius Hues. If you were a fan of those 80's cable martial arts flicks or early Van Damme movies, you know what I'm talking about.
It is for sure that it will be a long,long time before there will be another like Michael Jackson.
Was the first one any good? Never watched it...