Monthly Archives: January 2013

MIAMI: Lily Fortescue Rocks Nike Air Max Kicks On The Beach!

Lily Fortescue Bikini Pics From Miami Beach

Turns out the Fortescue sisters are twins, so my previous statement about one sister being hotter than the other doesn’t really make sense. Maybe one of them was having a bad day, so who knows? These latest photos of Lily Fortescue, which were snapped on New Years Day, shows the English reality TV star enjoying her time in the sun as she was busy working on her tan while lounging on the beach in Miami. Lily is one of the stars of the hit TV show, ‘Made In Chelsea‘.
Lily Fortescue Bikini Pics From Miami Beach

GOD-D-D-DAAAYUM! Jessica Alba Bikini Pics From Cabo!!

Jessica Alba Bikini Pics From Cabo San Lucas!

Wow, I guess hard work does pay off! When asked about her post-pregnancy workout regiment, Jessica didn’t drop any plastic surgery related secrets, but instead told interviewers she was in the gym for six hours (two three-hour long sessions) for five or six days a week, so it’s no wonder she looks so great! We’re pretty sure she got a lil something nipped & tucked, but hey, there’s only so much plastic surgery can do.

The beautiful actress, who absolutely hates the papz, was caught enjoying a nice family vacation in Cabo San Lucas. While most celebrities hit up St. Barts around this time, a few safe a few bucks & time by hitting up Cabo, which is a quick flight from LAX. We’re pretty sure they save thousands on accommodations, as well. Jessica was joined by her daughters Haven & Honor, but once again, we don’t see her husband Cash. Why doesn’t this dude ever get spotted w/ his hot wife?! I don’t get it…

LINKS: Miranda Kerr Still Beautiful As Of January 2nd, 2013

Miranda Kerr out in Los Feliz

Our prediction for the next 12 months: We have a feeling she’s going to remain just as beautiful through 2013…

– OW! Olympic Hurdler Michelle Jenneke Cashing In On Her Sexy Wiggle [HollywoodTuna]
– CHEESE ALERT! CHEESE ALERT! And JWoww’s Ass Just Doomed The New Year [The Superficial]
Jennifer Lawrence is NORMAL [Lainey’s Gossip]
– Duchess Kate eats lavender biscuits for nausea & she’ll never be “Queen” [Celebitchy]
– REAL SHOCKER: Rihanna Banged Chris Brown On New Year’s Eve [IDonLikeYouInThatWay]
– Katie Holmes Bearding For Jake Gyllenhaal? [Dlisted]
– Pregnant Jenna Dewan Hits The Beach [Popoholic]

– CoCo Sleeps in the nude w/ her dog [The Blemish]
– HILARIOUS! Kim & Kanye: Taiwan Animation Style. []
– A Bikini-Clad LeAnn Rimes Makes Sure We Know How Much She Loves Her Life [PHOTOS] [Socialite Life]
Quotables: Rob Kardashian Thinks He Is Better Than His Sisters [Evil Beet]
– Anne Hathaway Believes She Isn’t As Gifted As Meryl Streep, Cate Blanchett and Kate Winslet [Complex]
– Katie Holmes might be dating Jake Gyllenhaal [Celebslam]

– Miley Cyrus Is Already Comparing Justin Bieber To Princess Di. Jesus Christ… [The Superficial]
– Amy Poehler And Tina Fey Continue To Make You Jealous Of Their Friendship
– Selena Gomez Leaves Her Mark At A Glory Hole [Celeb Jihad]
– Bored? Check Out Part 2 of the Best News Bloopers of 2012 [BroBible]

– Taylor Swift Rocks The Leather Pants For New Year’s [HollywoodTuna]

– Lindsay Lohan is Still Drunk, Disgusting in 2013 [Yeeeah!]
– Samuel L Likes To Make Bitches Squirm [Dlisted]

– Are you a Bastardly Lady of the Day? [The Bastardly]

Sofia Vergara’s Fiance Nick Loeb Sounds Like An Insecure Douchebag

Sofia Vergara on New Years Eve

It’s being reported that Sofia Vergara’s dumbass fiancé Nick Loeb got booted from a Miami nightclub last night (Jan. 1) after the couple got into a heated argument—so heated that one witness in the VIP section said, “Nick had to be pulled off Sofia by security. Her dress got torn in the melee [Anyone have photos of this?]. This happened right in front of everyone in the VIP section. Four security guards grabbed Nick and threw him out of the back door of the club, with Sofia following behind.” What the fuck? Doesn’t Nick Loeb know that his woman is a hot celebrity with a huge mouth and equally huge rack?

Sounds like both Sofia & Nick were drunk, along with everyone else in the VIP section. I’m pretty sure some other drunk, rich dude made the moves on Sofia because her boobs were literally hanging out of her dress. Apparently Nick got really pissed when Sofia took a picture with a stranger & even started screaming at her. This Nick guy sounds like a really insecure douche bag & to be honest, I’m very surprised that woman like Sofia Vergara is still with him following their numerous breakups. I’ll even go as far as to say that this guy is probably abusive behind closed doors, which really sucks when you think about all the cash that Sofia pulls in via “Modern Family.” It sucks that we have to ask this over & over again, but why are certain rich & hot chicks attracted to abusive dudes when there literally millions of guys ready & willing? I don’t get it…

The photos in this gallery were snapped the night before at a New Year’s Eve party held at the Miami’s ultra-luxurious Delano South Beach as she was on hand to ring in the new year. All reports from that party stated that the couple were all over each other & even shared a midnight kiss. I think it’s safe to say that Sofia Vergara needs to find a new man in 2013!

MIAMI: Joanna Krupa & Romain Zago Back To Having Fun At The Beach!

Joanna Krupa and Romain Zago enjoy the first day of 2013 together on Miami Beach. The 'Real Housewives of Miami' stars were hugging and kissing and taking photos with friends. Joanna was looking fantastic in her mint green Beach Bunny bikini, aptly named 'Time is Love'.

Joanna Krupa & longtime partner Romain Zago kicked off 2013 just like they kicked off pretty much every week of 2012—the lovebirds hit the beach! For a couple days last month, it appeared as if the ‘Real Housewives of Miami’ stars were set to breakup, but judging by all their playful nature on the beach yesterday afternoon, I don’t think they can survive without each other.

For those of you bastards who were on vacation, we blessed Romain & Joanna with the honor of being MoeJackson’s Couple of the Year (our first), so let’s hope they don’t screw things up by getting married. When it comes to celebrity, we always recommend prolonged dating & if absolutely necessary, a never-ending engagement.

Ashley Greene Celebrates New Years in Mexico with a Granny Bikini! WTF?!

Ashley Greene Bikini Pics from Mexico

These God awful bikinis shouldn’t be sold to chicks under 30 and it should be against the law internationally for any famous chick (who’s remotely hot) to wear a granny bikini, but hey, we gotta count our blessings whenever possible because let’s face it, Ashley Greene looks about 1000x hotter than Kesha looked in her granny bikini.


These were snapped yesterday afternoon as Ashley was spotted lounging poolside while vacationing in Mexico (probably Cabo San Lucas).

Jake Gyllenhaal Had Rebound Sex With Katie Holmes

Katie Holmes & Jake Hyllenhaal Dating

Man, I wonder how long it’s been since Katie Holmes actually had sex after popping out Suri b/c I have a feeling that Tom Cruise & her weren’t getting it on all that much. Expert man-whore Jake Gyllenhaal probably had a lot of fun with Katie after he busted through the cobwebs that had built up between Katie’s legs due to lack of use. We’re pretty sure Tom had a set of sex rules, which probably included a shortlist of sexual positions they could try behind closed doors, so having sex w/ Jake was probably a very liberating experience. It’s rumored the two have been secretly dating for several weeks after being introduced by Katie’s former “Dawson’s Creek” co-star Joshua Jackson. They’ve apparently hit up a few dinners in the NYC, so I’m kind of shocked that this news is breaking so late.

The pair have also seen each other on Broadway, with Katie staring in ‘Dead Accounts’ and Jake in ‘If There Is I Haven’t Found It Yet’. A bastardly source close to Katie revealed that she has ‘tons in common and Jake has already been to see her in Dead Accounts, plus she has been over to his apartment in the West Village for dinner.’ As most of you bastards know, Jake is no newbie when it comes dating famous women after having slept with Taylor Swift, Reese Witherspoon and Kirsten Dunst over the years.

Nicole Scherzinger Disappoints While On The Beach in Hawaii


I think we’ve seen Nicole Scherzinger wear less clothes when she’s hitting up London nightclubs, so we were obviously very disappointed when we saw the former Pussycat Doll all covered up while hanging w/ family & friends on the beach. While we wait for Nicole to take a dip, we’ll have to turn our attention to a selection of old-school pics shot back in 2007….

See more photos!

More Nicole Scherzinger Bikini Pictures From Hawaii! (2007)
Nicole Scherzinger: Bikini Pics From Hawaii! (2009)

Kanye & His Baby Momma Kim Kardashian Celebrated New Years in Vegas

Exclusive - Expectant Mom Kim Kardashian Debuts Baby Bump in Skunk Fur Coat With Proud Dad-To-Be Kanye West

For the record, Kim’s rocking skunk fur.

We’re pretty sure Kim had a previously scheduled paid engagement at a Vegas nightclub on the books, so Kanye probably tagged along. It sucks it’s turning out this way b/c Kim was supposed to be the one tagging along, God damn it! As most of you know by now, Kanye made the biggest mistake of his life about three months ago when he knocked up Kim Kardashian. The dude made the baby-momma announcement during a concert in Atlantic City over the weekend.

I gotta admit, I was pretty shocked like everyone else b/c I always thought Kanye would end up seeing through Kim’s bullshit & ultimately parting ways or at least all his industry friends would help knock some sense into him (Jay-Z & Beyonce: What the fuck?!!), but none of that shit happened. He ended up having unprotected sex w/ this woman! Un-fucking-believable. Assuming the pregnancy goes smoothly, Kanye’s is seriously stuck w/ this chick for the foreseeable future. Kim will inevitably show her true colors & try to cash in on every opportunity over the course of the pregnancy & after (diaper deals, selling baby photos, reality TV cameras while giving birth & God knows what else), so it’ll be interesting to see how much bullshit Kanye can handle over the next six months.

Here’s Kim & Kanye at a New Year’s Eve bash held at 1 Oak nightclub at the Mirage Hotel in Vegas…
Reality TV babe and soon to be mum pregnant Kim Kardashian and boyfriend rapper Kanye West host the New Years Eve Countdown held at 1 Oak nightclub at the Mirage Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas.

BREAKING!! Claudia Romani Hits Up Walgreens in Her Bikini To Grab Some Coconut Water!

Italian model Claudia Romani stocks up on some Coco water at Walgreens in Miami Beach on New Year's Day.

The beautiful Claudia Romani screwed high calorie drinks at Starbucks for a far more healthier option by grabbing O.N.E. brand coconut water at a local Walgreens in Miami Beach. The 30-year-old Italian model was once again rocking a bikini as she hit the store before hitting the beach on New Year’s day. I gotta admit, there’s no better way to ring in the New Year than spend it doing absolutely nothing on the beach.

Cheers to an even hotter 2013, Claudia! OW!

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