Man, I wonder how long it’s been since Katie Holmes actually had sex after popping out Suri b/c I have a feeling that Tom Cruise & her weren’t getting it on all that much. Expert man-whore Jake Gyllenhaal probably had a lot of fun with Katie after he busted through the cobwebs that had built up between Katie’s legs due to lack of use. We’re pretty sure Tom had a set of sex rules, which probably included a shortlist of sexual positions they could try behind closed doors, so having sex w/ Jake was probably a very liberating experience. It’s rumored the two have been secretly dating for several weeks after being introduced by Katie’s former “Dawson’s Creek” co-star Joshua Jackson. They’ve apparently hit up a few dinners in the NYC, so I’m kind of shocked that this news is breaking so late.
The pair have also seen each other on Broadway, with Katie staring in ‘Dead Accounts’ and Jake in ‘If There Is I Haven’t Found It Yet’. A bastardly source close to Katie revealed that she has ‘tons in common and Jake has already been to see her in Dead Accounts, plus she has been over to his apartment in the West Village for dinner.’ As most of you bastards know, Jake is no newbie when it comes dating famous women after having slept with Taylor Swift, Reese Witherspoon and Kirsten Dunst over the years.