NO WAY!! World Mourns As Taylor Swift & Harry Styles Break Up

Harry Styles And Taylor Swift Spend A Romantic Day In The Park

For Harry’s sake, let’s hope they ended on good terms. I’m pretty sure Taylor ended up getting bored of Harry or who knows, maybe Harry got some ass behind her back b/c Taylor was reluctant to put out? We’re still not sure whether Taylor Swift simply dates dudes for the sake of dating them or if she’s one of those girls who likes to fuckie-fuckie after the first couple dates and then just move on to the next hot guy? Any of you bastards have a theory on this, by chance? We want to believe that Taylor is a sex-addict who needs to fuck a new guy ever couple weeks, but we can’t be sure until one of those dudes throws her under the bus.

As for what caused the break up? Not that any of you guys actually give a shit, but what we hear is that the couple continued their romance into the New Year with a trip to the Caribbean island of Virgin Gorda. Harry probably took this as a sign that Taylor wanted to have continuous sex for the duration of their exotic trip, while Taylor on the other hand just wanted to spend the time taking long, romantic walks on the beach. Whatever the case, within days of the vacation, the two lovebirds parted ways.

Regardless of how these two broke up, we gotta rack up Harry on Taylor’s growing list of temporary lovers. Who’s gonna be the next dude to take a ride on the Taylor Express? Any guesses?

Patrick Schwarzenegger *
Justin Gaston *
Tim Tebow *
Joe Jonas
Lucas Till
Taylor Lautner
John Mayer
Cory Monteith *
Toby Hemingway
Jake Gyllenhaal
Chord Overstreet *
Garrett Hedlund
Will Anderson
Eddie Redmayne
Harry Styles
Kyle McKinley
Riley Howell
Adam Young
Conor Kennedy
Harry Styles

* denotes allegedly banged, which means that there’s a 2% chance that Taylor didn’t bang this guy.