As most of you guys probably heard, Paula Deen kicked off her pity tour earlier this morning by gathering all her tears over the past few days and finally making her ‘Today’ show appearance she was supposed to make last Friday.
Curiously, during her interview w/ Matt Lauer, Paula said, “There’s someone evil out there that saw what I had worked for and they wanted it.” With that said, we gotta address the rumors that Martha Stewart is supposedly behind Paula’s public demise. On the surface it would appear Martha Stewart would have a lot to gain from Paula’s global brand crashing & burning, but I don’t think Martha’s that devious. The home & kitchen industry is pretty damn cutthroat, but I truly feel like Paula Deen brought this upon herself.
Plus, the last thing she should be doing is talking about possible conspiracies against her. That’s not what people want to hear, Paula. They just want to hear you acknowledge that you have a problem and that you’ll get a lot of therapy to deal with the problem. You gotta own up to the racism and move forward as opposed to simply sobbing on national TV and trying to appear as the victim. Who the fuck is running the P.R. show behind the scenes anyway? She definitely needs to cough up the millions & hire someone more capable at handling huge problems from a large city that’s not based in the dirty south.
Here are a few more one-liners from the ‘Today’ interview that will make you roll your eyes…
“I believe that every creature on this Earth, every one of God’s creatures, was created equal… I believe that everyone ought to be treated equal.”
“I’ve had to hold friends in my arms while they’ve sobbed,” Deen sobbed uncontrollably. “Because they know what’s being said about me — it’s not true. And I’m having to comfort them, and tell them it’s going to be all right. If God got us to it, he’ll get us through it.”
When asked whether she regrets telling the truth in the deposition, Paula turned all red & was about to explode with deep-fried regret, but at the last second opted to go with her rehearsed response, “No. Because there’s a couple of kinds of people that I don’t like, that I am prejudiced against: … thieves and liars.”
“If there’s anyone out there that has never said something that they wish they could take back, if you’re out there, please pick up that stone and throw it so hard at my head that it kills me,” she said tearfully. “Please — I want to meet you.”