Author Archives: Moe

Bastardly Suggestion: Eva Longoria NEEDS New Boobies!

Eva
Her career & body are both thirsty for a cup or two on the plus side.

Of course we all like natural ones, but sometimes God is simply not so giving when it comes to the boob gene. Oh, the elusive boob gene! Few women are gifted, I tell you. But those who aren’t naturally gifted, modern science has an answer.

I feel Eva Longoria’s career, which is already on the fast track with Desperate Housewives, will be propelled to the next level with a simple boob upgrade by a reputable surgeon who’s not in any way linked to Tara Reid. Now, of course I’m not talking about pornstarish triple Ds! That’s kinda gross, unless you’re into that kind of crap, but I’m talking adding a simple cup—possibly going to the upper Bs so that she can fill a sexy bikini. Just think about it, ok. Eva Longoria is already one of the sexiest Latinas on TV, so why not put some icing on the cake, baby?

Eva, this is a call from your fans. Go in for a simple 30-minute consultation, check out some photos & just go for it, sistah! Plus, I’m sure you can land better dudes than that loser director you’re sleeping with at the moment.

In the next page, there are more photos that help to prove my point.

The Slutty Hilton Sisters

Who’s Sleeping With Who?
Was this one big orgy or maybe they were trading guys for a night?

This old photo of the two sisters might have a few scandalous clues as to why Paris & wife beater Nick Carter broke up. Did Nick catch Paris having mad-western-sex with the Swede on the right & then proceed to beat her ass up? You guys do remember those photos of bruised & battered Paris, right?

Happy Thanksgiving Peoples!!


You can never go wrong w/ Hiromi eye-candy!

Hiromi with Sandra Hubby @ Playboy’s annual Midsummer Night’s Dream bash at the mansion. God, we must get our cameras into one of these parties, damn it!!

If you guys haven’t seen all the photos & videos, please go & check em out here. Believe it or not, but Hiromi is dressed conservatively compared to the rest of the chicks.

I’m off to Atlanta for the weekend, so be safe everyone! Watch out for those drunk bastards!!

Unfortunately, Paris Not At Pacer-Piston Game

Paris
Paris & her boytoy doing a little kinky foreplay in public.

In all the videos I’ve seen of the fight in D-Town last weekend, I was hoping to see a glimpse of Paris Hilton in the front getting a vicious beatdown by some random, rioting woman. No cigar on that.

Although, I’m nearly certain that if this were to happen & a video of such a beatdown were to surface, its sales figures would be be highly competitive with that of Paris’ first release, One Night In Paris. There’s nothing like watching a star-studded beatdown.

Nicolas & Alice Cage @ National Treasure Premiere

Nic
Not bad at all!

Nicolas Cage didn’t claim to marry a genius. He and his wife, 20-year-old Alice, were on the red carpet for the premiere of Nic’s new movie “National Treasure” when someone asked Alice about the Declaration of Independence. She looked at them and said, “What’s the Declaration of Independence?” Nic quickly rushed over and said, “Please don’t ask my wife any history questions.” A source close to the situation says, “Nic is so odd. A day before he married Alice, he was asking friends for advice because he didn’t want to go through with the wedding. He just can’t be alone.” Nicolas met Alice on Valentine’s Day at a sushi restaurant where she worked as a waitress. They were married six months later. [Star 100.7 FM, San Diego]


“Please don’t ask my wife any history questions.”
Ok, I’m going to excuse myself so I may fall down the stairs laughing my head off.

I think tying the knot was a step that Nicolas Cage didn’t need to take IF he was in full control of the situation. Obviously, he had no control. Like most of us males, we sometimes let our penises do all the thinking & end up getting burned. Alice may be stupid in American history, but she’s Asian God damn it & of course, all Asians have a good understanding of money! Her greedy parents probably told Alice to keep her chastity belt locked-up until Nicky-boy took the extra step. She cracked the bastard in only 6-months! Amazing, I tell you.

I’m sure he has no regrets. She’s hot, baby!

Flashback: Maureen Flannigan as Evie

Evie
I thought she was so hot!

Reading around, I saw that she has a hilarious new movie called The Day Without a Mexican. I guess it wasn’t a huge production b/c it’s already out on DVD (which is a good thing, of course). The storyline is next to amazing b/c can you imagine Cali without bloody Mexicans?!? haha.

Since Out of This World, she has done a few movies, most notably Party of Five, in which, I hear, she has a couple nude scenes. I don’t know if I can watch nude scenes of her, though. It would be too weird after seeing her so young. It would be like to watching a steamy sex-scene with the Olsen Monkeys! It just wouldn’t be Kosher, man.

Well, I’m sure you guys have your own Out of This World stories, so spout off! All I remember is that my sister and I never missed an episode!

There’s a Maureen tribute page with a whole bunch of cheesy photos.

The next page has a few memorable photos, so grab a Kleenex to catch the tears and browse away…

Paris Brings Hustler Mag To The Dinner Table

PARIS
Paris staring at Nicole’s boobies.

Yes, my friends of all ages, Hustler mag was recently conned into coughing up millions for 23 photos of a presumably (hopefully) drunk Ms. Hilton making out with another piss-drunk chick @ some dance club. David Hans Schmidt, the lucky bastard who sold the pics, describes Paris “with a brunette at a nightclub, cavorting with her, dancing and cuddling with her and fondling her.” Very nice-very nice.

Mr. Schmidt, a smart Jewish man who obviously understands the media business, went on to say a few more thoughtful words about the scandalous layout.

It’s a hot, passionate serious makeout session. It does not appear to be two girls kidding around or two girls kissing each other hello. It seems to be pretty hot and pretty heavy. [Yahoo]

I personally think that Paris Hilton’s fame is slowly peaking. Very over exposed (in all aspects, mind you). The only thing more outrageous could be Paris recording herself making love in the middle of Time Square to none other than bloody Elton John!

Angelina's Alexander Interview

Angelina Jolie
Dear lord!

The photo above is from a screening of Alexander last night in the City. Anyway, check out a recent Cinema Con interview with Angie. Here’s an excerpt in which she talks about working with Colin Farrell.

He is the only actor that I felt could play Alexander. He is Everyman�the kind of man who supports others. He comes across as a natural leader who loved the men that he worked with. He was their best buddy, and it’s believable that they would have followed him into battle or anywhere if asked. Also, Colin comes from a very good place. He does not need to be the center of attention. He is neither arrogant nor selfish, just a really hard working, wild, free- spirited person.

So what’s with all this bisexual stuff that’s actually helping to promote the movie? Is there some guy on guy stuff or does Colin merely insinuate that he wants to have a threesome with Angie & one of his soldiers? Those Greeks, or should I say, those bastardly Greek lawyers, have issues.

Check out the rest of the interview here.

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