Author Archives: Moe

Personality Type: The Jetta Driver

Aaah, The Jetta. I think the cars are synonymous with the words, “I want one of those” in the female and homosexual communities. Don’t get me wrong now, I love & respect both communities, but let’s not kid ourselves, the Jetta is not a car for the normal guy. That is, if the normal guy is not a chump.

This is not a Personality Type on the Chump (I’ll try to get Jackson to do a Personality Type on the Chump), but one on the drivers of Jettas.

The Jetta is a classic car for your typical chump on the prowl for women (that is, women who are in high school or early years of college). Why? Very simple. Because you have something they want. It’s the same with other wonders of the world…money, large house, cute puppy, large penis, etc etc. You have something. They want a piece! The closest thing to owning a Jetta is being close to someone who has one. The chump gets what he wants. The woman gets her desires fulfilled. Very simple concept, indeed.

Oh, The Inhumanity!

I couldn’t handle the beating by the beginning of the 4th. It got so painful that I switched channels & listened to Mr. Chandra Muzaffar speak for 30 mins on Globalization (Don’t question my L.L.-Laker Loyalty, alright. It was for health reasons).

In all my life, I have never seen Phil Jackson so helpless. That tells you right there, people, Phil is used to Michael Jordan coming to rescue and making his coach look good.

I’ll analyze the game once the pain wears off a little. The last thing I want to think about is why we were down by 26!

Now you may commence the verbal beatings (i.e. “I told you so,” “I knew the Lakers sucked,” etc, etc)

Beastie Boys ROCK!!

Ok .. so I’ve finally got a chance to post something worth while. I watched the most AWESOMEST Beastie Boys concert of the year (well until they go on tour again this year). Granted seeing them last year front stage center was waaaay better than this year, sitting in the back of the Shoreline Amphitheater was still awesome. Dude … I have bruises all over my knees cause I was dancin so hard!!!

If you EVER get a chance to see them live, its well worth it. It sucked cause the Strokes were on after the BBoys and it was so anti-climatic. Seriously, everyone left after the BBoys played.

I know you may think they are super old … but man … they are one of the true pioneers of hip hop/rap today. Coming from the BIGGEST BEASTIES BOYS fan ever … by their new album. It fuckin Rocks!!! Mix Master Mike is tight too!!!

Sigh. I still feel like I’m in a dream.

Ch-Check it out!!!!!
http://beastieboys.com/

D-Day in D-Town!

The Lakers are on the Edge.

They have a gun to their head w/ the trigger being pulled by some junky Piston who hasn’t heard of the art of shaving after he gets out of bed (Rasheed Wallace).

The Lakers will be ready. Why this game and not the others? Simply because this is potentially the last game of their season & because they have made, quite possibly, every mistake they could make up until now.
They’ve…
– neglected Shaq countless times in all the games – Contributed to losses
– played defense like a bunch of 5th graders learning to play D for the first time – Contributed to losses
– forgot to play defense all together, at times – Contributed to losses
– depended on Kobe too much for his shooting rather than his passing – Contributed to losses
– kept Payton out of the game – Contributed to losses
– not gone inside the paint like they can in order to create fouls & get some points from the line – Contributed to losses

Let’s face it. If D-Town wins the Finals, it will be a major loss for the NBA.

Please Worry, Laker Fans.

Before I begin my bitching, I want to say that ABC should enter a new line into Al Michaels’ contract that reads, “Mr. Michaels can only commentate Monday Night Football.” He is no good. No good, at all. Why not Marv Albert? I don’t care if he has a weird life behind basketball, God damn it!

Ok, moving on…

I’m surprised as everyone as I watched the painful 4th quarter slowly wind down. I was expecting to see something truly different in Game 4, but I saw a repeat of Game 1. The Lakers were shooting in the last couple seconds of the shot-clock or losing the ball due to careless passing or simply forgetting that Shaq was on the floor! It’s very upsetting, I tell you. You can only heal a wound until you are aware of the wound yourself! I hope the Lakers understand they are hurt! The lack of defense is the wound that ails the Lakers. They try to run their great offense w/ a lackluster, foul-prone defense.

Get this: If you count only the points scored while the clock was running, the final score would be: 69-60, Lakers. Can you believe that? The reason? Personal fouls and the free-throws shot! They committed nearly double the fouls and hence, D-Town shot nearly 2x more from the line. For God’s sake, the problem was not the offense, as you can see. It was simply bad defense, but at least they are more aggressive on the defensive end than they have been in the past. Now they just need to tweak their defense to where they do not foul themselves out of the game! Also, Phil Jackson needs to stop bitching at the refs and start straightening out his players.

Laugh or Be Afraid?

Roar! Be afraid!

For fear of retaliation, I will not say anything harsh, but it is tempting. I’m just posting this photo to plant the seed of fear in the hearts of my 3 readers. I grabbed this from the Latin Rapper website. There are some serious gangsta rapper FANS on that site!

Your comments are welcome.

The Demands of Love – Leo Tolstoy

Reading the following extract out of Tolstoy’s diary is truly a humbling experience, to say the least. First of all, I learned that I’m a complete hypocrite when it comes to my temperance, generosity, & simple care for those around me. It’s a sad & painful realization, I tell you, but all I can say is that I am doing my best to change for the better.

I was thinking of giving my personal interpretation, but I am going to hold off because I personally hate falling victim to others’ opinions on things I read. It completely skews my ultimate interpretation. To tell you the truth, you need only be a child to comprehend such writing because it is associated with love, the single element of life that is so pure and ubiquitous in our hearts & minds.

Well, one last thing before I let you people skim through this little story. The end result, no matter how you see it, will be a rewarding lifelong experiment that will inevitably begin painfully, only because you must initially expend great energy & time unwinding all that you’ve been taught in order to eventually fall mercy to the demands of love (probably in your old-old age).

[Side note: I’ve searched all over the net for the following extract, but haven’t had luck, so I decided I’d copy it out of one of my books for all 2 of you to enjoy! It’s long, so print it!]

D-Town Murder!

I was worried last night. It was an awkward sense of worry where you feel helpless. This is same type of worry that surfaces when you’re stuck in a desert with a Coca-Cola machine in front of your sweaty face that only seems to take dollar bills and you only have quarters in your pockets. (Yes, that was a lame-lame analogy.) The Lakers are that sweaty face & they are in a bloody hole at the moment. They have a killer offense, but horrible-horrible defense! It’s a pity because they are stuck playing a team that’s known for its excellent defense. It was an ugly-ugly game to watch if you love dunks, 3s, etc. Well, in order for the Lakers to make any credible progress in this series, they must tweak their game to concentrate more on defense!

What’s the key stat in my mind? First, 7 & 15. Those are the amount of boards Lakers & D-Town grabbed on the offensive end, respectively. Can you believe it? They doubled up on the Lakers. Secondly, the more obvious, we have rebounds, 39 to 51. They were literally smashed on the boards. I don’t care if you’re playing in a cave; the disparity should not be so glaring. I hope Phil gets his ass off the bench and yells at these guys to push themselves harder–to get hands & knees a little dirty! They must uphold the Lakers legacy, God damn it!

PHO-nomenonal!

I don’t know if this is true or just a dirty trick by some Bhetdamese computer geek, but it was reported today on one of my sites that Pho “is becoming the most popular Asian noodle soup in the U.S.” This was reported by The Mercury News–a newspaper based in San Jose, CA that is super close to PHO-Central (aka Stockton, CA—also, aka Brian’s Pimping grounds), so I wouldn’t be surprised if the writer of the article is in fact Vietnamese.

I personally think this is just a west-coast thing where Asians now officially outnumber white people.

One interesting fact from article: American bowls of pho are about 30% bigger than what’s found at a street-side joint in Vietnam.

That’s understandable since the average American is probably about a 100% larger than the average Vietnamese. You can kick me for that comment later, ok.

Anyway, Read the full story Here.

Too Much?

I like Reagan. I like Bush, as well. Do not get me wrong. The former created a legacy and the latter is doing his best to create one. I do not wish ill upon either one, but when I see things that are done madly out of proportion, it alarms me. I am further alarmed by all who blindly participate. Mob psychology, I tell you. Not only funerals, but birthdays, inaugurations or whatever it may be. There are logical lines that should be glaringly apparent to anyone with two eyes and a sane mind when observing such events.

We all know how much Reagan did in his lifetime, but at the most basic level, you cannot deny the fact that he is a human being. Just think about it, 24,000 people took time out of their day & lined up in DC for the viewing of his body. 24,000 people!! Amazing.

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