Author Archives: Moe

Hungry?

As I perused the SF gate, I came across this article. Man, what are they gonna smuggle next?

A suspect swallowed nearly $50,000 in cash in a failed attempt to smuggle the funds out of Colombia, officials said Monday.

Bogota airport police said they X-rayed the suspect because he was acting nervous while preparing to board a flight for Lima, Peru.

The photo showed dozens of latex-wrapped packets inside his stomach and police assumed it was drugs, since such a smuggling technique is used by traffickers.

But as the suspect passed the packages from his body, police discovered they were filled with cash — $47,500.

Jack-In-The-Crack News

Since we only report the most important news, we thought you’d want to know: Jack in the Box Inc. now accepts Visa, MasterCard and Discover in all 1,553 of its company-owned Jack in the Box restaurants and in many of its 435 franchised locations. So yes, now you don’t have to look for loose change under your dirty car seats & trash cans–I mean ashtrays. Yes-yes, that means fewer of those 2 for $1.00, heart-disease-tacos! Now we can eat those healthy, more expensive Ultimate Cheeseburgers. Anyway, some journalist took her/his time to write a story about this news release here.

The Ashlee Monster Attacks!

AshlEY Monster
This is from Ashlee’s Letterman appearance last week. First, lets take 2 seconds to pay respects to the ears of the audience members who had to sit through many Ashlee-screams. [____1_________2____ ok, that’s enough.] In the photo above, at first glance, Ashlee looks as if she’s hunched over and screaming into the mic, but a closer look reveals that it’s only her guitarist to her side while Ashlee is standing upright & screaming. Ok, this is a waste of space, so I’m going to stop.

Ok-ok, one more try. Here’s a photo that will surely wake you up if you’re feelin’ the extra Monday night Martini bringing you down @ work this morning. Click the photo to increase its effectiveness (Make sure to squint before you click, though.)
Squint and Click here...

Ugly Big Brother 5

I just saw God awful photos of the Big Brother show going on in England. I would post them, but I don’t want to scare off any visitors. My God, those people are damn ugly. Is it an English thing or simply the people they chose?! (My apologies to the good lucking Britons.) I don’t know what would compel me to watch ugly people living together and God forbid, have sex all day long with different partners. Anyway, I have yet to see any shows from the season on this side of the Atlantic, but I’ve been hoping that one of these days it’ll be on when I’m watching TV. Unfortunatley, I have yet to be TiVO’d. They really need to give out the box for like 50 bucks and make their money on the reoccurring, monthly income.

DY-NA-MITE!!!

So I enjoyed a mellow friday night watching the amazingly funny movie called Napoleon Dynamite. I am a big fan of nerds, the minorities of the world, and AWESOME dance routines. This movie was just so funny. There was no plot, but it didn’t matter. You just sit there and laugh because you don’t know how else to react. This movie rocks.

Let nerd persecution END all over the world!!!!!

I LOVE NERDS!!!!

Savoring The 'July Rhapsody'

Karena Lim & Jackie Cheung

Just by sheer chance, I watched this movie on some obscure Dish Network channel over the weekend. I usually don’t dig the movies w/ subtitles mainly because I think I suffer from A.D.D., I read too slowly & I hate concentrating on the words rather than the people on the screen. Ok, now that everyone thinks I’m a complete dumbass, I’ll continue w/ my review.

It’s funny how implied sex, promiscuous characters, & adultery pulls me into watching random movies. ‘July Rhapsody’ has all those elements in perfect proportions. It stars the beautiful Karena Lin (some of you fobby people might know her as: Karena Lam Ka-Yan) & Jacky Cheung (not Jackie Chang, all you westerners). It’s a very intriguing love story from 3 angles:

Angle 1. Karena is a smart, punkish girl at school who is extremely flirtatious with one of her teachers. Jacky (her teacher)does his best to resist, but eventually folds under the mounting pressures at home with his wife. Yes Jackson, they have Crazy Chinese Sex.

Angle 2. Jackie has a troubled marriage w/ his wife (Anita Mui Yim-Fong) of 20 years. They have 2 kids who are well into their teenage years and live in a cramped apartment in some major Chinese city. It seems the love that once existed between the two has now crippled up and died. Through out the movie, both work hard to rekindle the love.

Angle 3. Anita’s ex-lover (before she married Jacky) is dying from some disease. She feels that it’s her duty is to be by his side, but Jacky doesn’t agree. You see, Anita’s ex-lover also used to be Jacky’s best from grade school (I think). I didn’t watch the first 40 minutes of the movie b/c I was snoozing away (it was Sunday, God damn it), so I think I might have missed some important parts.

Cameron & Trousersnake

As noted by Samantha in a recent comment, Justin has cheated on girlfriend Cameron Diaz. Our reliable source reports:

Justin & Cameron
[The singer spent TWO sizzling nights with leggy Lara Croft double Lucy Clarkson—his “classy” Brit on the side while he was in London.
And the 22-year-old model confirmed that the only undersized feature of the man dubbed Trousersnake was his LIPS.
Lucy told the News of the World: “I was impressed. He’s bigger than average and I was overwhelmed. But I didn’t really like kissing him because his lips were too small.”
Lucy, who was spotted by fashion designer Vivienne Westwood when she was 15, revealed: “Justin was totally obsessed with my boobs. He asked if they were false and I replied, ‘Touch them’.]

I never knew this side of Justin! haha. Read the full article here.

Britney's Ancient Apartment

Britney’s moving. Well, she has her pad on sale. The Silk Building’s (Tower Records is stationed here) top couple floors belong to her & she’s cashin’ out.
If you have $600k sitting around (amount needed to cover the 10% down), go here to purchase. Looking @ the photos, I can see that Britney has horrible taste. She has furniture straight out of the late 80s–early 90s. She needs to watch some Cribs or hire a real interior designer. If you know her current interior designer’s name, please mention it here so that other people don’t make the same mistake.

Specs:
rooms: 8
beds: 3
baths: 4.5
maid’s rooms: 2
maid’s baths: 1
type: condo
outdoor space: Terrace
doorman: yes
approx. sqft: 4,395

I don’t know about having 4.5 baths to go w/ 8 rooms. It should be 9 baths and 8 rooms, right?

1 2,860 2,861 2,862 2,863 2,864 2,877