Category Archives: Bikini Pics

Bastardly Midnight Snack: Scarlett Johansson In A Bikini. Damn You, Josh Harnett!!

The couple, who are rarely pictured together, were soaking up the sun at the exclusive Goldeneye resort in Jamaica. [Mirror]

At least Scarlett’s in the sun trying to get some color on those bags of love. A for effort, baby!

As for the Mr. Harnett: I’m pretty sure this session of water wrestling was just foreplay, so good for him! And, judging by Scarlett’s calm demeanor in public (i.e. when a gay, fat man grabbed her boobs on national television, Scarlett simply laughed it off), chances are pretty damn good that Scarlett’s one kinky kitty when the doors are closed, the lights are dimmed and the boobs are released from their cage.

All we can do is keep our fingers & toes crossed & hope they’re stupid enough to make a sex video…

Mariah Carey Striking Lame Poses On The Beach

Some people (mostly crazy, ass-sucking Mariah fans) say she’s shooting a music video, but that’s just a rumor. In fact, the reality of these pictures has a funny twist, my friends.

Apparently, upon spotting cameras (especially those owned by members of the paparazzi), Mariah goes into a trance & typically dives, head first, into one of her all-exclusive Posing Zones.

Case in point…

The Socialite Sex Trade: Kelly Slater, Gisele Bundchen & Leo DiCraps

Leo Deecraps, after getting a little tired of sexin’ up Giselle 24-hours a day (don’t blame him) & has successfully passed her on to surfer, Kelly Slater. Damn you, Kelly Slater & damn the manwhorish life of surfers all around the globe. I am ridiculously envious.

Although Giselle Bundchen is an amazingly hot package & a longtime member of the Socialite Sex Trade, I would still swing for the innocent, yet scandalously sexy, Petra Nemcova. Maybe Leo recently saw his calendar & astutely noticed that it’s been around a year since the Asian Tsunami & Petra Nemcova might be finished overcoming the tragic loss of her beloved fiancé, Simon Atlee. Watch for Leo to go in for the kill b/c obviously none of the other rich dudes in his age group are interested in super hot women younger than the age of 30. What has the world come to?

Below you’ll find a few pics of Ms. Bundchen modeling Ipanema Sandals (Hello Mag Story). Have mercy.

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