Category Archives: Babes

Bastardly Interview: Aubrey O'Day from Making the Band 3

(Photos courtesy of Aubrey O’Day)

Diddy is a genius! How do you follow up the fine quality entertainment dysfunctional family we knew as D-A B-A-N-D!?!? You have a new season of Making the Band featuring all hot and talented girls! Brilliant!!! I’m not being bias when I say that Aubrey was the most consistent and talented (not to mention hottest). Now that they’re back to filming we wish the best for Aubrey but before she left we got a chance to do a Bastardly Interview with her! Now don’t be fooled by any of those fake Myspace, Livejournal, etc pages claiming to be her. We got the scoop straight from the source and take note that if you want to get the realest info about her be sure to check out her official website!

2005 Midsummer's Night Dream Party @ The Playboy Mansion


Ow!

God damn! Our short-term goal is still to get invited to one of these parties b/c Playboy rocks! I hope someone @ Playboy just read that & will soon email here to let us know when we can fly in for the next party. Once we experience a night or two @ the mansion, we will endlessly plug the magazine for years to come.

Ok, moving on to the photos. Two of our favs were unfortunately MIA this special night that involves everyone to dress in ‘lingerie or less’. Of course, I’m talking about Hiromi Oshima & Jillian Grace. I guess both beauties were too busy playing suckie-suckie with various Hollywood elites & therefore couldn’t make it to the party. Even though our favorite bombshells were absent, there was still plenty of eye-candy to be tasted, so enjoy the photos below.

2005 VMAs: Coco Lee Goes Loco

Ok, I take it back. Paulina Rubio had the most scandelicious outfit of all attendees who came w/out a date, but Coco Lee & Ice-T were light years ahead for having the craziest outfits. They are an amazing duo, I tell you.

I can’t believe Ice-T dresses up like Coco Lee’s pimp & forgets the fucking cane. It’s a slap in the face to the Pimp Industry.

2005 VMAs: Paulina Rubio Raises Slutty Bar

Fucking P Diddy Biggy’s Murderer Puff Daddy Puffy brought into question whether MTV should even bother continuing with the VMA franchise.

On a more positive note, after checking out countless photos, I have to admit that Paulina Rubio, even though she’s borderline butta-face, was the highlight (in terms of attire).

I can’t wait until 2015 when half the attendees to various award shows come butt naked!! Ow!

Check out a few more pics of this sexy Latina.

2005 Silvercash Bikini Contest. Ow!


The winner—at least one them (for some odd reason, they had two).

Silvercash.com just finished up their annual bikini contest & my God! If you’re a guy (or a girl looking for new bikinis for that upcoming vacation), you have got to feast on these photos.

Please keep in mind that all masturbating parties should either close their browsers or leave The Bastardly before partaking in such acts. Around 3% of our readers are still mastering their ABCs & multiplication tables in elementary school, so have pity on them.

In regards to the bikini contest: Man, Jackson & I dream (fantasize) of the day we can throw a Bastardly Bikini Contest. Judges would include all horny commenters, led by Mr. Varian Gray, of course. Since all big things have humble beginnings, we want to reiterate that we currently give away free Tees & tanks to hot girls who send in photos of themselves and/or their unsuspecting, hot friends in delicious bikinis. Girls, direct all photos to this email*.

Ok, enough bullshitting. Check out just a few of my favs from Silvercash’s gallery.

*Winners are based purely on our tastes, so naturally, if you’re hot & Latina, you’ve got an edge.

Anorexic Teri Hatcher & Penis Head Eva

Teri has done everything within her power to set a healthy example for young women. She is certainly not a compulsive dieter, and doesn’t have an eating disorder of any kind. [Teri’s PR Bitch]

Ya, except for eating normal meals & then puking it all out when everyone has their back turned. I don’t know, but I feel like one of those “Hollywood exhaustion” stories will soon creep into Teri’s life.

While we’re on the topic of health, it was learned today that the resident slutwhore on the Desperate Housewives set, Ms. Longwhoria, was recently admitted into a hospital due to a mild injury to her head. They claim a pole of some sort was involved. A pole, huh? Considering we’re talking about a woman who has slept w/ members of two basketball teams, it’s quote natural for one to assume that the pole in question is merely symbolism for an extra-long penis sported by one of Eva’s sexual conquests.

So yes, now we know that apart from having tremendous amounts of sex with multiple partners, Eva Longoria likes to be beaten by extra long schlongs. That Eva!

The Poolside Ass Exercises Trend. Ow!

I’m really loving this budding trend. Let’s hope a lot of this type of stuff happens in Costa Rica while I’m cruising around from town to town.

As for the photos, I don’t know about Caprice Bourett, but I’m pretty sure Tony Parker is away @ some basketball camp or something b/c Eva really looks like she’s trying to attract a sexual partner or two to help suppress her voracious appetite for sweaty balls & abnormally large schlongs. Don’t tell me that Eva managed to con Tones into another one of those sex only, open relationships? What a genius of a hottie!! I want a piece too, God damn it!!

Ok, here are a few scandalous photos of both women. Which pool are these two at, damn it!?

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