Category Archives: Babes

Kari Wuhrer: Art Of Drunken MILFilicious Posing

Kari Wuhrer: Born April 28, 19-bloody-67. It’s fairly obvious that this lady takes care of herself. I know she has a little pudge here & there, but give her a break.

Unfortunately, her name reminds me too much of THE Fuhrer (yes kids, the same Fuhrer w/ that funny tache who murdered a few million people last century). So yeah, name change is a definitely an option b/c let’s admit it, she’s too damn sexy to be associated with such an evil personality.

Aside from that, Kari’s an expert in striking provocative poses. She was recently at an Armani Par-taaay (apparently she was drunk, high or whatever) & with the help of some of good ‘ole paparazzi-coaxing, Kari went wild.

Check it!

November 2005 Esquire Mag: Jessica Alba's Many Faces

For being so damn hot, J Alba takes a lot of shit from random people.

These overly jealous individuals have called her a Hollywood whore. Others have said she has no class or standards when choosing her men (damn you, Cash Warren!!). Still others think she cannot act if her life depended on it, but no one, in their right mind, has had the balls to call her ugly or unwankable (I bet some bastard will do just that in the comments below).

In a testament to J Alba’s shear beauty, her latest spread in Esquire is pretty creative & a very good excuse to capture J’s hotness in her prime.

Check it!

Hotness At The Flightplan's German Premiere

Ms. Davorka Tovilo in the house.

I don’t know how many of you have seen this flick, but I’ve been hearing a lot of positive things about it. A little off topic, but not really: The beautiful Tricia Cruz (some of you Latinos in LA might remember her as one of LATV spicy VJs) played one of the flight attendants in this movie & we’ll have an interview up in the next month or so, so look forward to that!

Bastardly German Women Theory
Ok, back to the German hotties @ hand. Now we all know that German women are undeniably hot, but like all good things in life, they have one crucial flaw: their German language. Of course, the language isn’t as bad as Vietnamese (God forbid), but it’s still not something you want to hear screamed-out in bed. Although, it’s highly possible that if Davorka were to be sitting next to me, in all her German nakedness (of course), and whispering into my ear sweet, little words of how she’ll soon tear me up in bed, then I guess I could go into deaf mode & just resort to shaking my head in sexual acknowledgement.

With that in hand, enjoy a few more delicious photos from the premiere.

The Sexy Fabiola Campomanes In Latino Playboy

Fabiola Campomanes is another example of how foreign media is so much hotter than our own (assuming you live in the United States). In some of the photos, Fabs kind of reminds me of a Pre-Motherhood, Pre-K.Feds, Pre-In-Your-Face-Hick Britney Spears.

Since Hef has probably already sampled Fabiola’s spicy taco, we gotta send out a big “DAMN YOU, HEF!!” That 110-year old bastard has gotten more action since he hit 80 than I will in 10-15 lifetimes put together. How sad is that?

Here are a few more snappies from her Playboy press conference (since when did they start having bloody press conferences?!).

Javine Models The Tightest Jeans In The World

Photo by Dave M. Benett (Damn you Dave!!)/Getty Images

Javine is hot. She is so amazingly, bootiliciously hot that I must stress once again: Javine is hot. You don’t see all too many girls these days with a little meat in just the right places. Thank the Lord.

Well, these pics come to us from a fundraising event creatively tagged, Jeans for Genes. It helped to raise dough for babies born with genetic disorders. May God have mercy on these kids. The sweet Javine had a few words to say, so before eating up her delicious photos, let’s hear her out.

One in 33 babies is born with a genetic disorder and ongoing vital research is needed to help develop treatments and support for affected children and their families. [Getty Images]

* Javine’s Official Website
* Jeans For Genes Information

Bastardly Matchup: Hiromi Oshima vs. UglyRiceBowl

This matchup came about from this comment from my post about Hiromi last week.

To quote UglyRiceBowl, she claims Hiromi to be a “Jap whore” and a “midget skank”…while saying, “I’m way hotter than her”

We thought it’d only be necessary for us to have Bastardly Matchup and let the readers be the final judge…I tired finding the most whack non-nude pics of Hiromi but could only come across a few non-nude pics. I’m sure Playboy and Import Tuner will be emailing us soon to sue us for copyright infringement…

So here we go…w/o further ado here is UglyRiceBowl

MILFilicious Maria Bartiromo & Sexy Petra Nemcova

It’s a pity Kristina Applegate had to get her ass in there to spoil things.

My heart skipped a few beats after spotting these two beauties together @ some Reader’s Digest “Please-Show-Your-Face-And-We’ll-Pay-You” luncheon. As you people already know, Petra Nemcova is a personal favorite. I think it’s because her love is genuine, she doesn’t do crack like all the other bitches & lastly b/c she’s a true survivor!

As unbelievable as this will sound, just 10 months back, this woman was recovering from one of the craziest catastrophes on record & these days, she’s making sure to enjoy life to its absolute fullest. Who wouldn’t, right? It’s unfortunate that homo- & heterosexual men, all over the globe, are literally missing out in one of God’s finest creations (in her prime). Petra, give us a call & we’ll make sure to savor your silky, Czech bod, the way it should be savored. Amen.

Ok enough bullshitting. Here’s some more eye candy from yesterday’s event.

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