Category Archives: Babes

AVN Adult Entertainment Expo In Vegas – A Bastardly Preview!


Gianna Lynn & Lexi Love drive the boys crazy.

As I write this Jackson’s probably rubbing up against some dirty pornstar trying to get her to sleep him. Actually, since he holds a press pass to the event, I’m sure he’s using that to his advantage…

[Jackson, with press pass taped to his forehead.]

Pornstar: Oh, I couldn’t help but notice that you’re a member of the press.

Jackson: Umm, yeah. And, aren’t you Jenna Haze?

Jenna Haze: Good guess. Since you’re in the press, how about we have sex & then you can do a nice story on me?

Jackson: Where you staying…?

And, the rest will be on the sex tape that we’ll link to once he gets back…

In the meantime, please check out a few photos from the pornographic festivities! It’s more than obvious that the Getty Images photographer (Ethan Miller) taking the snaps has no taste in pornstar beauty. I Pity the foo.

Elisha Cuthbert Is Supergirl (Or Is She?)

I think this is a fake, but it makes for interesting convo.

Let’s assume for a second that a remake of the original is in the works. For some reason, I don’t see this type of flick going anywhere (I’m talkin’ below Dare Devil levels here…). It definitely has more to do w/ qwerks in our wonderful society than anything else.

Then again, if Supergirl is totally exploited from a sexual standpoint, I can easily see many horndogs going to see it a couple times each. Unfortunately, the sexual exploitation of such a strong personality is contradictory in itself, but fortunately for Hollywood, that type of stuff is not such a high priority. It’s about the bucks, baby!! I’m totally willing to shell out my 12 bucks (medium popcorn included) to see a hot, NC-17 version of Supergirl over a lameass, PG-13 version of Superman.

Cherie Roberts – A Bastardly Interview

Photos courtesy of Cherie Roberts

I think I should start off by saying that this interview ain’t for the kiddies. I recall first going oogly googly over Cherie Roberts when she held the title of Miss Hot Import Nights and the tour rolled on up to Seattle. Yes, I also recall waiting in line for like 30 minutes to get an autograph and picture too!!!…which I still have. Anyways, of course you’ll find Cherie on Myspace, however, if you wanna see more of her that’s too hot for even The Bastardly then be sure to check out!

Lucy Pinder vs Mary Carey – A Bastardly Slutty Whore Matchup

Ok, this is a little unfair since Mary Carey is a straight up porn star & Lucy Pinder is a current pinup model / future porn star. The fact of the matter is that both these hookers have huge boobs & like to be naked in front of the camera. Once again, Ms. Pinder merely shows off her naked ass in front of the still cameras, whereas Ms. Carey takes it up the ass in front of a video cameras.

Is this an unfair comparison & is it possible?! You be the judge.

Sean Lennon: Wake Up & Smell The Boobies!!

Photos courtesy of two British prostitutes (Michelle Marsh & Lucy Pinder) & their friends. Someone let them on their yacht. I would, too!!

In last evening’s Bastardly News, the one & only Supreme Commander reported on how the late John Lennon’s son is having difficulty finding ladies. I will recap his expert commentary before I proceed.

Speaking of baby killing, the dude that smoked John Lennon should have taken out his kid, Sean Lennon instead. Yes, it sounds bad, but it would have spared homeboy the humiliation you are about to witness. Sean Lennon is running personal ads in the NY Post looking for a girlfriend…he says he’s “lonelyâ€?. Dude, your fucking dad was John motherfucking Lennon – if you can’t work that and get yerself some run-off pussy, just give up and kill yourself now. [Bastardly Evening News, Dec. 28, 2005]

I’m going to assume that Sean’s not finding the girl of his dreams—you know, that special girl who loves him for who he is & not for the money he can throw at their naked bods. Dude, it’s no fucking use. It’s a hopeless cause. Your dad defines your existence and he will define it until you die (unless you discover the cure to herpes or AIDS or can manage to impregnate Angelina Jolie while she’s sound asleep or of course, kill Bruce Willis while he’s high on coke & sexing up one of his 18 year old bitches). So yeah, unless you can pull one of those off, you will always be John Lennon’s son.

On that note, let’s focus on your strength—you know, the money, the power & the undeniable network—to sleep with more women than Michael Jordan (Santa Barbara Basketball Camp in UCSB (UC Santa Barbara) = UCSB = Whore house) & Wilt Chamberlain—combined! After all, you are human male & obviously, by placing the ad for a girlfriend, you’re not gay.

Within the comments to that Bastardly News Report, I suggested buying a yacht. Now, here are some photos of some bitches getting crazy on a yacht that’s owned, most probably, by some rich dude who was also feeling lonely at one point or another…

Please Note: The photos below are definitely not safe for work. There’s plenty of boobie action.

Shin Mina: Soccer Babe, Pop Artist, & Korean Goddess

Surprisingly, in our poll of hot people around the world, Korea came in 4th (the Chinese even beat them out!). B/c that poll was flawed, we’ll run it again, but this time only with Asian countries.

In the meantime, here are a few reasons why Korea may win the next poll.

Give a little wink & say hello-hello to Shin Mina (or Shim Mina—whatever). She’s most popular for her delicious work as “That Hot Korean World Cup Chick,” but these days she’s a seasoned pop singer. She already has three albums under her sexy belt, so K-Pop in the haaa-ouussse!!

Horny bastards should click below:

* Asian Sirens – Korean Soccer Babe
* USFK Gallery
* Otcho’s BangBlog – Shin Mina a.k.a. Miss World Cup – Goes into her music
* vB Easy Archive – Hyori Lee – Scroll down to see pics of Mina & other chicas of interest.

Crack Whore Yasmine Bleeth: Why God, Why?!

The hottie population is slowly dwindling with hot chicks falling victim to anorexia/bulimia, alcohol, Scientology, Ultimate Cheeseburgers, Bruce Willis, coke, Tom Cruise, painkillers, M&Ms, and of course, Kevin Federline.

Damn this cruel, cruel world!!!

Since we here @ the Bastardly tend to always think positively, we’ll end this post w/ photos of Yasmine Bleeth looking super hot. Please try to hold back the tears…

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