Category Archives: Babes

T's the word: A Bastardly Matchup Preview?

The first blows were issued at this comment. Now that we’ve got the pics from T we need to get pics from UglyRiceBowl. Yes folks, I know you want to see this matchup, just as much as you wanted to see this matchup. But if we don’t get pics from UglyRiceBowl this matchup just might never make it to The Bastardly. Here’s a taste of what T has to offer this most-hyped potential matchup.

Will UglyRiceBowl accept the challenge? Or does the silence from her already give us indication that she’s too intimidated by T?!?! Come clean URB!!!!

Curley Jackie Guerrido @ Premios Juventud Awards 2005

Jackie Guerrido goin’ w/ a grungy, Paulina Rubioesque look. I personally liked her w/ the straight hair, but I guess nothing’s wrong w/ some healthy experimentation if you’re already amazingly hot, right? Regardless, once your line of sight gets below the neck, it’s like jumping into an endless ocean of rose petals, my friends. MILF heaven, I tell you!!

Here are a few snaps from the award show. Keep an eye on Jackie’s killer thighs. Those babies are potentially lethal, for God’s sake!!

Adriana Lima vs. Aromia – A Bastardly Matchup

Oh yes yes y’all…. this is the matchup that you’ve all been anticipating for the past week. Yes, if you are a returning visitor to the site you’ll usually see comments made by Aromia proclaiming herself hotter than all the women we post here; in addition to claiming she looks like Adriana Lima! Now usually when Moe and I ask girls to send pics to the mailbox our requests are not met, however, Aromia not only obliged but agreed for us to have a matchup. Okay, I’ll stop rambling, here is Aromia!!!!

Halloween Sex Galore @ The Playboy Mansion!

Charis Boyle w/ Mike Tyson. You just KNOW these two love birds hooked up after Mike drugged that poor Charis up on his potion of love. Also, Charis will find it hard to walk for the next few days…

God damn. Another Playboy party missed by the Bastardly. Our goal is to hit one up before Hef floats away to the brighter side. Amen.

Well, it’s very safe to assume that the free flowin’ alcohol coupled w/ the horny nature of the mansion contributed to an endless amount of uninhibited, freakishly crazy sex during & following the end of the partaay. Damn all those involved.

How long will Hef go? That is the question, my friends. The guy is exceptionally healthy for his age & I seriously think the sex & the amazing environment he has built around himself greatly contributes to his current state. It’s fairly obvious that a happy & sexually content man is a healthy man. Hang in there, Heffie!

Have fun w/ the pics. The come courtesy of Mr. Chad Doering @ Playboy. Chad, we’re not worth—we’re not worth!!

Russian Women: Man's Gift From God

“Beauty will save the world.”

Those wise words came from one of the greatest authors to ever live, Mr. Fydor Dosteovsky (also Russian). The powers of beauty are self-evident, but I must confess, I nearly had a heart attack after setting my eyes on these two beauties.

May God have mercy on all hot Ruskies.

Side note: The photo was taken by one of our readers (wants to remain anonymous), who visited the Playboy Mansion for a party earlier this year (damn you!!!). Once again, if you’re in the position to provide two invites to the mansion for the New Years party, please do email us. We will hook you up like no other.

Donna Feldman – A Bastardly Interview

Photos courtesy of Donna Feldman

Do you ever wonder about the hot girl that is handing out the trophies at award ceremonies? Well, for all you curious-minded people let me grab your attention towards the lovely Donna Feldman from this past year’s Academy Awards. In addition to being named to the Maxim Hot 100, Donna has built quite an impressive resume when it comes to gracing her sexy bod across the media. Check out more heat at her official website but w/ her busy schedule she had time for our Bastardly Interview…and believe me it was well worth the wait.

Eva Longoria: Undeniably Hot (But Still A Whore)

I know I give this lady a lot of shit for sleeping around w/ everyone with a decent sized wallet, coupled with a Hollywood network. Her scandalous life is perfectly fine because you must learn to play a little dirty in order to achieve tremendous success in the entertainment industry (assuming you’re not already born into some powerhouse family).

As the bastardly saying goes, “if you chase money, you will eventually find power.” In Eva’s quest for power, she recently slam-dunked herself into Tony Parker’s heart. Since we all know this won’t be one of those lifer-relationship, what’s the over/under on her engagement/potential marriage?

While you guys think up a number, here are two super hot photos of Eva. I bet the lucky photographer got a piece following the shoot! Damn you!!!

Lori Loughlin: Still Super Sexy

With all this talk about MILFs & it unofficially being MILF Week on the Bastardly, how could we possibly pass up Lori Loughlin, of Full House fame. She was in attendance @ the 32nd Annual Crystal Ball at the Beverly Hilton.

I just remember thinking she was so damn hot back in the day. I also recall how Jessie & her would always sneak away into the kitchen for a quick make-out sessions (that bastard). Odds are pretty good that John Stamos got a piece (or two) of this woman on multiple occasions while Full House was on the air. Damn him.

It’s a pity Mr. Stamos is nothing in comparison to Lori’s real hubs, Mr. Mossimo Giannulli—yes, the bloody creator of the Mossimo line of clothing that’s popular among hot surfer girls & dudes. Wow, it’s safe to say that both parties, Mr. Mossimo & Lori, hit the bloody jackpot by landing each other.

Below are a few pics of Lori from the event.

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