Category Archives: Babes

Nadia Bjorlin @ The Dukes of Hazzard Premiere

Nadia Bjorlin’s eyes are more mesmerizing than they are freakish, but I seriously doubt any guy will be looking into her eyes all too long after they check out some of her other assets.

One thing’s for sure, though, Nadia’s attendance @ the Dukes of Hazzard premiere made the questionable remake totally worthwhile. Even though I’ve been hearing some God-awful reviews, I know for a fact, that the dude sitting next to Ms. Bjorlin @ the premiere had a big, fat smile on his face through the entire flick. Can you blame him?

Our new camera—the BCC—captured a couple of the reasons…

Jennifer Love Hewitt's Hanes Saga Resumes…

I’m still anxiously awaiting for her to push the Hanes line of skimpy G-strings (excuse the redundancy)!! Let’s hope the designers at Hanes pull through w/ this request. The designers must realize that JLH is not your average hottie & in trying to make her look average is a lost cause within itself. All I know is that JLH made a bad & presumably desperate career move by signing up w/ Hanes.

If her wish was to splatter her bod all over middle-class America, then Victoria Secrets would’ve been a better option. As we know, bastard agents can be so convincing sometimes! They don’t hesitate, for even a second, to jump on lame opportunities & worst of all, they manage to do majority of their convincing while their client is drunk or high. Damn them.

Brooke Burke: Divorced & Ready For Rebound Sex!

So the inevitable finally came to pass: Brooke Burke left her plastic surgeon hubs. Three reasons come to mind:

1. She was finished getting all the free plastic surgery; nose, cheeks, chin, eyes, you name it & Brooke probably got it!
2. The sex was getting boring (of course)
3. Since she has a kid, she’ll be collecting some dough & not have to deal w/ the bullshit of married life.

If there was a number 4, it would probably be irreconcilable differences, but that’s a given in every divorce, right?

Primer On Sexing Up Newly Single Brooke
So to all the guys who have been waiting for this day to arrive, you better hurry! I’m assuming @ this point in her life, the last thing Brooke wants is commitment. She just wants sex—plain, dirty, hair-pulling, rough, noisy, western sex!!

Once again, any mention of becoming Neriah’s (her daughter) father or wanting a long-term relationship, Brooke will automatically reject your applications for sexual relations (this includes clothed-sex-making-out sessions). Keep it simple & enjoy the Brookooty! Ow!

Just in case you forgot, here’s another pic of Brooke…

Drunk Real World Melinda Sluttin' It Up!

Bing Bong Tables truly missed out on the Real Melinda! Sucks for them!

She’s cute. She has extremely large natchurales & apparently goes into slutty stripper mode when she gets drunk @ bars, so what more could perverted guys & chumps w/ no shame ask for?!

The following photos were probably posted by one of her bastardly (bitter) girlfriends who’s pissed-off at the fact that MTV failed to chose her over big-boobied Melinda for Real World, Austin. Anyway, get ready for a wild ride in which you’ll see one of Melinda’s nippsies playing peek-a-boo!


Zeta Graff w/ Paris "Jesus" Latsis

He either looks like Jesus or the beast from Beauty & the Beast

Wow. Zeta Graff, Paris Latsis’ ex, can look hot in some photos & borderline trash (below) in others. It’s very odd.

Anyway, as most of you gossip whores know Paris is a total bitch & has the ego the size of Tommy Lee’s penis. Well @ a recent dinner, Zeta Graff faced the wraith of bitchy Paris Hilton & is now compelled to sue. As we all know, you have really (really) hate someone in order to sue their ass, so read on.

On July 2nd, the New York Post reported that Graff, “went berserk” at the club. The paper also reported, “Graff…flew at Hilton and tried to remove her [$4 million] necklace.” One unnamed source added, “It looked like she was trying to strangle Paris.”

But in the lawsuit, Graff claims it was Hilton who first approached her with fighting words, allegedly whispering in her ear, “You’re a fucking bitch. I’m going to destroy you.”

In the suit, Graff also accuses Hilton of slander, claiming the hotel heiress planted “vicious lies” in the Post, leaving her reputation “irreparably harmed.” Graff has hired powerhouse Los Angeles attorney Marty Singer to represent her and is planning on fighting tooth and nail to clear her name. [Celebrity Justice]

Damn you Paris, you piece of slut whore!!

This is an example of Zeta looking like trash.

Petra Nemcova's Birthday Party @ Soho Grand

Oh how she must enjoy life, but I’m sure there’s a definite drawback. For example, she must get hit on by everything moving & only because it’s probably so damn easy. Donald Trump was at Petra’s birthday a week back (by association, of course) at The Soho Grand Penthouse Loft & I’m sure he laid down a line or two.

Donald Trump – So Petra, I heard you were in a Tsunami? One of my properties must have been damaged in Phuket.
Petra – Ya, a lot of people died too. My…my boyfriend died too.
D. Trump – Petra, I’m known to make supermodels feel a little better, so let me give you a hug. Just watch the tu—hair.

Ok, sorry for that lame convo. I’m sure it would sound funnier if they were acting it out. But let’s admit it, judging by how nice Petra Nemcova can be, I bet Donny’s already swindled her for a night of crazy sex while Melania was cruising around in his G5.

Anyway, check out photos from beautiful Petra’s Birthday party on July 19th.

Real World's Melinda Bing Bongin' In Philly!

Apparently she was @ Finnigan’s Wake in Philly last Thursday partyin’ it up w/ the gang that owns Bing Bong Tables. I wish those dudes requested her to wear something a little sexier than what she had on, but whatever. If the Bastardly ever throws a par-taaay & gets a hold of Petra Nemcova or Jackie Guerrido (let me dream, alright), we will request (ok-ok, beg) that they sport, at the most, skimpy tube tops & ultra-mini miniskirts, but that’s just us being bastards.

Regardless, I think Melinda’s lookin’ pretty cute in those snaps, but you can see 30 Melindas shaking their drunken booties in random bars around PB in San Diego—every night of the week (at least during the summer). They might not have Melinda’s boobage, but you can always get those bolted on for a small fee, right? Right.

Updated – 7/25/05

* more pics are up @ the Bing Bong Table’s site
* Oh, if you don’t want to spice up your party with the RoboSpanker, try a Bing Bong Table. Buy one today!

Anyway, check out some pics from the Bing Bong party below.

Eva Lonwhoria & Tony Parker In China!

Tony Parker, like any black man with money, left the bootiful sistahs & crossed the tracks into Latina Country. His name is officially scattered into Eva Longoria’s Outlook calendar for whoring. Let’s see how long he lasts b/c we all know how Eva can be with monogamous relationships.

Since he wanted her all to himself (for at least a long weekend), Tones had to fly her ass thousands of miles away to China. It’s a tough & expensive life when you want to have sex with Eva, so keep that in mind, guys.

As for the snaps, the photos in which Eva has her shirt rolled up, she’s lookin’ mighty delicious, but in the other ones where she’s posing w/ the natives, she’s looking totally blah’d out. I hate it when that happens w/ hot chicks b/c you’re automatically pushed into a pool of doubt & start questioning the chick’s hotness.

Oh well, here are some more snappies.

1 3,668 3,669 3,670 3,671 3,672 3,683