Category Archives: Babes

Kelly Monaco Talks Shady Boyfriend On Howard Stern

Kelly Monaco is another example of a wasted ass. There’s always something fishy going on when you hear about super hot chicks hanging w/ guys who have very little to offer.

Kelly said that she met this guy she’s with when she was 15 and he was about 18 and she hasn’t been with anyone else. He has been with other women but she’s never been with another man. Howard said that the guy must be super hot but Kelly said that he’s really not. He doesn’t have drugs or anything like that and she doesn’t even drink these days. She said she did go through her drinking and drug phase when she was young, like 11 years old. [Marks Friggin’; Kelly Monaco Visits. 09/12/05. 7:40am]

She has to be hiding something—something big. For God’s sake, she needs to hit up Maury Povich (if he was still on) and let the audience convince her into dumping this dude who sleeps around on her ass, while managing her millions.

Here’s some more:

When she said that he was Puerto Rican, Howard and Robin asked her if she wanted to give them a secret message that she needs help getting out of the relationship. She said she’s in the relationship because she wants to be, not because he’s making her stay. She said that he’s almost like an assistant for her and helps her handle her career. He takes phone calls and helps out with the stuff she can’t handle herself. She said that they have talked about getting married over the years but they don’t want to do it if they can’t do it right so they just don’t do it.

How do you stay together for like 15-years and still talk about getting hitched? What the fuck is this world coming to? Apart from the shadiness of her man, I still remain confused. Is he the bitch of the relationship or not? It seems as if she’ll praise his ass one second & then turn around and say something like, “yeah, when I have a shit stain on my ass, I’ll ask him to lick it off & swallow.”

Kelly, dump the whorebag already & get yourself a real manager. Plus, you’re a fruit that more than one man should be able to bite into. Get w/ the program, sistah!!

Bastardly Interview: Aubrey O'Day from Making the Band 3

(Photos courtesy of Aubrey O’Day)

Diddy is a genius! How do you follow up the fine quality entertainment dysfunctional family we knew as D-A B-A-N-D!?!? You have a new season of Making the Band featuring all hot and talented girls! Brilliant!!! I’m not being bias when I say that Aubrey was the most consistent and talented (not to mention hottest). Now that they’re back to filming we wish the best for Aubrey but before she left we got a chance to do a Bastardly Interview with her! Now don’t be fooled by any of those fake Myspace, Livejournal, etc pages claiming to be her. We got the scoop straight from the source and take note that if you want to get the realest info about her be sure to check out her official website!

2005 Midsummer's Night Dream Party @ The Playboy Mansion


God damn! Our short-term goal is still to get invited to one of these parties b/c Playboy rocks! I hope someone @ Playboy just read that & will soon email here to let us know when we can fly in for the next party. Once we experience a night or two @ the mansion, we will endlessly plug the magazine for years to come.

Ok, moving on to the photos. Two of our favs were unfortunately MIA this special night that involves everyone to dress in ‘lingerie or less’. Of course, I’m talking about Hiromi Oshima & Jillian Grace. I guess both beauties were too busy playing suckie-suckie with various Hollywood elites & therefore couldn’t make it to the party. Even though our favorite bombshells were absent, there was still plenty of eye-candy to be tasted, so enjoy the photos below.

2005 VMAs: Coco Lee Goes Loco

Ok, I take it back. Paulina Rubio had the most scandelicious outfit of all attendees who came w/out a date, but Coco Lee & Ice-T were light years ahead for having the craziest outfits. They are an amazing duo, I tell you.

I can’t believe Ice-T dresses up like Coco Lee’s pimp & forgets the fucking cane. It’s a slap in the face to the Pimp Industry.

2005 VMAs: Paulina Rubio Raises Slutty Bar

Fucking P Diddy Biggy’s Murderer Puff Daddy Puffy brought into question whether MTV should even bother continuing with the VMA franchise.

On a more positive note, after checking out countless photos, I have to admit that Paulina Rubio, even though she’s borderline butta-face, was the highlight (in terms of attire).

I can’t wait until 2015 when half the attendees to various award shows come butt naked!! Ow!

Check out a few more pics of this sexy Latina.

2005 Silvercash Bikini Contest. Ow!

The winner—at least one them (for some odd reason, they had two). just finished up their annual bikini contest & my God! If you’re a guy (or a girl looking for new bikinis for that upcoming vacation), you have got to feast on these photos.

Please keep in mind that all masturbating parties should either close their browsers or leave The Bastardly before partaking in such acts. Around 3% of our readers are still mastering their ABCs & multiplication tables in elementary school, so have pity on them.

In regards to the bikini contest: Man, Jackson & I dream (fantasize) of the day we can throw a Bastardly Bikini Contest. Judges would include all horny commenters, led by Mr. Varian Gray, of course. Since all big things have humble beginnings, we want to reiterate that we currently give away free Tees & tanks to hot girls who send in photos of themselves and/or their unsuspecting, hot friends in delicious bikinis. Girls, direct all photos to this email*.

Ok, enough bullshitting. Check out just a few of my favs from Silvercash’s gallery.

*Winners are based purely on our tastes, so naturally, if you’re hot & Latina, you’ve got an edge.

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