Category Archives: Babes

Zeta Graff w/ Paris "Jesus" Latsis

He either looks like Jesus or the beast from Beauty & the Beast

Wow. Zeta Graff, Paris Latsis’ ex, can look hot in some photos & borderline trash (below) in others. It’s very odd.

Anyway, as most of you gossip whores know Paris is a total bitch & has the ego the size of Tommy Lee’s penis. Well @ a recent dinner, Zeta Graff faced the wraith of bitchy Paris Hilton & is now compelled to sue. As we all know, you have really (really) hate someone in order to sue their ass, so read on.

On July 2nd, the New York Post reported that Graff, “went berserk” at the club. The paper also reported, “Graff…flew at Hilton and tried to remove her [$4 million] necklace.” One unnamed source added, “It looked like she was trying to strangle Paris.”

But in the lawsuit, Graff claims it was Hilton who first approached her with fighting words, allegedly whispering in her ear, “You’re a fucking bitch. I’m going to destroy you.”

In the suit, Graff also accuses Hilton of slander, claiming the hotel heiress planted “vicious lies” in the Post, leaving her reputation “irreparably harmed.” Graff has hired powerhouse Los Angeles attorney Marty Singer to represent her and is planning on fighting tooth and nail to clear her name. [Celebrity Justice]

Damn you Paris, you piece of slut whore!!

This is an example of Zeta looking like trash.

Petra Nemcova's Birthday Party @ Soho Grand

Oh how she must enjoy life, but I’m sure there’s a definite drawback. For example, she must get hit on by everything moving & only because it’s probably so damn easy. Donald Trump was at Petra’s birthday a week back (by association, of course) at The Soho Grand Penthouse Loft & I’m sure he laid down a line or two.

Donald Trump – So Petra, I heard you were in a Tsunami? One of my properties must have been damaged in Phuket.
Petra – Ya, a lot of people died too. My…my boyfriend died too.
D. Trump – Petra, I’m known to make supermodels feel a little better, so let me give you a hug. Just watch the tu—hair.

Ok, sorry for that lame convo. I’m sure it would sound funnier if they were acting it out. But let’s admit it, judging by how nice Petra Nemcova can be, I bet Donny’s already swindled her for a night of crazy sex while Melania was cruising around in his G5.

Anyway, check out photos from beautiful Petra’s Birthday party on July 19th.

Real World's Melinda Bing Bongin' In Philly!

Apparently she was @ Finnigan’s Wake in Philly last Thursday partyin’ it up w/ the gang that owns Bing Bong Tables. I wish those dudes requested her to wear something a little sexier than what she had on, but whatever. If the Bastardly ever throws a par-taaay & gets a hold of Petra Nemcova or Jackie Guerrido (let me dream, alright), we will request (ok-ok, beg) that they sport, at the most, skimpy tube tops & ultra-mini miniskirts, but that’s just us being bastards.

Regardless, I think Melinda’s lookin’ pretty cute in those snaps, but you can see 30 Melindas shaking their drunken booties in random bars around PB in San Diego—every night of the week (at least during the summer). They might not have Melinda’s boobage, but you can always get those bolted on for a small fee, right? Right.

Updated – 7/25/05

* more pics are up @ the Bing Bong Table’s site
* Oh, if you don’t want to spice up your party with the RoboSpanker, try a Bing Bong Table. Buy one today!

Anyway, check out some pics from the Bing Bong party below.

Eva Lonwhoria & Tony Parker In China!

Tony Parker, like any black man with money, left the bootiful sistahs & crossed the tracks into Latina Country. His name is officially scattered into Eva Longoria’s Outlook calendar for whoring. Let’s see how long he lasts b/c we all know how Eva can be with monogamous relationships.

Since he wanted her all to himself (for at least a long weekend), Tones had to fly her ass thousands of miles away to China. It’s a tough & expensive life when you want to have sex with Eva, so keep that in mind, guys.

As for the snaps, the photos in which Eva has her shirt rolled up, she’s lookin’ mighty delicious, but in the other ones where she’s posing w/ the natives, she’s looking totally blah’d out. I hate it when that happens w/ hot chicks b/c you’re automatically pushed into a pool of doubt & start questioning the chick’s hotness.

Oh well, here are some more snappies.

Bastardly Interview: April Scott

Photos courtesy of April Scott

Hailing for the “Show-Me State” of Missouri, I’d like someone to show me a hottie sexier than the gorgeous April Scott! Where hasn’t this girl unknowingly caught your eye?!? She’s graced the pages of numerous magazines, calenders, and catalogs. She has tv to her credit and was the beauty that Motley Crue casted for their “If I Die Tomorrow” music video. With her hectic schedule of modeling and acting projects, in addition to working on revamping her official website, we were able to steal a few minutes from the lovely April to get the lowdown in that bastardly way we do things here!

Lauren Sanchez: Bunny Smile, But Super Hot!

The smile won’t be all that bothersome if you don’t see it all that much, right? Right.

Unlike other hotties, Lauren actually does work that makes a difference.

Sanchez joined KCOP-TV from Fox Sports Network, where she served as anchor/reporter for ‘Fox Sports Tonight,’ and as correspondent for the cable channel’s newscast, ‘Going Deep.’ Her in-depth investigative report on ‘Going Deep,’ exposing the dangers of metal baseball bats earned her an Emmy nomination. [Fox 11 News]

So keep that in mind next time you’re going to hit a guy who’s burglarizing your house.

Anyway, Lauren started out as an “assistant” @ the station in 1993 & my God, her boss was a lucky bastard for having such a delicious assistant. Just think about how much play that genius of a man got!!!

Now to see some of Lauren’s other assets. Ow!

Jessica Alba Didn't Start Whoring Until 18!

I think I was ready to have an adult relationship when I was 16, but it’s illegal in the States to be intimate with anyone over 18 if you’re younger I’m someone who lives by the rules. [Female First]

Phew! It’s good to hear that J. Alba didn’t become an upscale, Hollywood slut until she was 18. How nice of her to be a good role model & live within the laws of the land..

If that wasn’t enough, J. Alba goes on to spill more scandalous juice.

I always knew I wanted to be in love with the first person I slept with because for almost everyone I knew, the first experience made them feel like shit. [Brit Cosmo]

Aaaw. It’s a pity she ditched that dude & went on to screw every other blockbuster Hollywood star out there, but I guess that was more of a business move than for pleasure.

It’s ok, Jessica. If you have a body like the one pictured below, God made you to be endlessly sexed-up by countless men.

Mischa Barton Says, "Black Is Back, Baby!"

The dude’s T reads: “I See Small People.” Props to the creative mind who thought of that shit.

Yes, mullato culture is before us again, my friends. Mischa & Quentin are doin’ it. Who’s next, baby!?

I don’t know what the fuck is wrong w/ Quentin Tarantino & his desire to ride the Shar Jackson Mobile behind closed doors. Quentin, banging K-Fed’s dirty ex on the side is pretty damn sad considering you can land infinitely hotter choco-lattes anywhere else in the world w/ far-far less baggage (I’m talkin’ kids), but you choose to sleep w/ the bitch & lie to the press about it. Someone give Q a hand with the ladies.

What about Mischa? Dude, who gives a fuck about her? Props to the Biggie’s Body Double for getting the opportunity to ride the 30lb manjaw’d, overrated OC star. I’m sure his brothas are pretty damn jealous.

Please join me in observing a moment of silence for Mischa Barton & remaining days w/ out a wheelchair.

Now, feast your eyes on some hot pics of the beauty showin’ the world that she’s now taking donations for a boobjob. She was recently left (except for those occasional sex-only meet-ups) her billionaire hoboyfriend, so that’s understandable.

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