Category Archives: Babes

Michelle Bass Models For Slut Wear

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When did the slutty swimsuit with big belt & jeans fall into formal wear? Maybe it’s just code for: “I’m a whore, sleep with me & leave in the morning before I awake.â€?

To give Michelle Bass (UK Big Bro) the benefit of the doubt, it’s highly possible that she was in the pool when she suddenly received a call from her friend to hit up a party in London. Since Michelle is not one create drama & force friends to wait on her ass, she just slipped on her jeans over her bathing suit & topped it off w/ a huge ass belt she found on the way out the door.

Anyway, here is a couple more of Michelle w/ Emma Greenwood (UK Big Bro) alongside.

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Playboy Evaluations & Howard Stern's New TV Gig

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2nd from the left. ow!

Howard Stern exposed me to so much about everything that’s considered dirty & evil that I don’t know how to thank the bastard. That’s why it’s a real pity that his show will no longer air on E! b/c it’s by far some of the most entertaining stuff on cable! You gotta admit, the guy has some pretty hilarious interviews w/ some big name people & when he can manage to mix boobs & interviews, you literally have a dangerous combination, in terms of entertainment value.

Well, since Howie is Jewish & in the mood to make some dough (don’t blame him), he’s moving to On-Demand SVOD (Subscription Video-On-Demand), so all horny patrons can get a taste of the show in its naked, raw format. I personally think that Howard will slowly move into porn & his show, as we know it today, will no longer exist. Let’s hope it’ll be for the best!

I know none of you read that (bastards), so here’s a larger photo of the Playboy Evaluation contestants. I really think the second from the left has a chance.

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Jessica Alba's Cash Warren Is A Lucky Bastard

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God damn!! There aren’t better photos yet, but hopefully they’ll soon surface. Keep your eyes on this fansite for the latest juice.

Anyway, as you guys eat up these photos, keep in mind that it was recently learned that J. Alba suffered from an eating disorder when she was younger. Considering how she’s 23 at the moment, I’m gonna assume Jay was around 15 when she suffered from the disorder. So all you sexy mommas contemplating skipping a meal or two, take my word & go full force! You have a chance to look amazing, make tons of money & run around the beach w/ a guy named Cash. What else could you ask for?

While Cash is on our minds, I’m gonna have to say that the dude is by far one of the luckiest guys in Hollywood (while his temporary stint w/ J. Alba lasts, of course). Even after his relationship ends, he can live w/ the fact that he got a piece of Jessica Alba in her prime (son of a bitch). Since Jessica Alba has scandalously surfed peniseseses galore all around Hollywooood, I’m sure she’s a total freak in bed. Damn you Cash, damn you!

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Luisana Lopilato: Argentina's Version Of Crack Cocaine

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There’s just no way those things are real!

There’s definitely something about this girl that causes people to go crrrazy.

Don’t take my word for it, though. Here’s Mia’s comment on another post.

hey lu, i just have few words for u:
you are wonderfull,very beautiful …there are many nice words that i have for u but i think that i wrote enough!
for the end i just describe myself:i’m totaly like you,everybody who now me,tell me that i’m like u,at first i didn’t thought that i can be like you, but then i saw that it’s totaly crazy but just to see me,you’ll think that i’m the other you!
bye bye and enjoy!!

Is it just me or is this chick suffering from an identity crisis?

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Nadia Bjorlin @ The Dukes of Hazzard Premiere

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Nadia Bjorlin’s eyes are more mesmerizing than they are freakish, but I seriously doubt any guy will be looking into her eyes all too long after they check out some of her other assets.

One thing’s for sure, though, Nadia’s attendance @ the Dukes of Hazzard premiere made the questionable remake totally worthwhile. Even though I’ve been hearing some God-awful reviews, I know for a fact, that the dude sitting next to Ms. Bjorlin @ the premiere had a big, fat smile on his face through the entire flick. Can you blame him?

Our new camera—the BCC—captured a couple of the reasons…

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Jennifer Love Hewitt's Hanes Saga Resumes…

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I’m still anxiously awaiting for her to push the Hanes line of skimpy G-strings (excuse the redundancy)!! Let’s hope the designers at Hanes pull through w/ this request. The designers must realize that JLH is not your average hottie & in trying to make her look average is a lost cause within itself. All I know is that JLH made a bad & presumably desperate career move by signing up w/ Hanes.

If her wish was to splatter her bod all over middle-class America, then Victoria Secrets would’ve been a better option. As we know, bastard agents can be so convincing sometimes! They don’t hesitate, for even a second, to jump on lame opportunities & worst of all, they manage to do majority of their convincing while their client is drunk or high. Damn them.

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Brooke Burke: Divorced & Ready For Rebound Sex!

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So the inevitable finally came to pass: Brooke Burke left her plastic surgeon hubs. Three reasons come to mind:

1. She was finished getting all the free plastic surgery; nose, cheeks, chin, eyes, you name it & Brooke probably got it!
2. The sex was getting boring (of course)
3. Since she has a kid, she’ll be collecting some dough & not have to deal w/ the bullshit of married life.

If there was a number 4, it would probably be irreconcilable differences, but that’s a given in every divorce, right?

Primer On Sexing Up Newly Single Brooke
So to all the guys who have been waiting for this day to arrive, you better hurry! I’m assuming @ this point in her life, the last thing Brooke wants is commitment. She just wants sex—plain, dirty, hair-pulling, rough, noisy, western sex!!

Once again, any mention of becoming Neriah’s (her daughter) father or wanting a long-term relationship, Brooke will automatically reject your applications for sexual relations (this includes clothed-sex-making-out sessions). Keep it simple & enjoy the Brookooty! Ow!

Just in case you forgot, here’s another pic of Brooke…

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Drunk Real World Melinda Sluttin' It Up!

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Bing Bong Tables truly missed out on the Real Melinda! Sucks for them!

She’s cute. She has extremely large natchurales & apparently goes into slutty stripper mode when she gets drunk @ bars, so what more could perverted guys & chumps w/ no shame ask for?!

The following photos were probably posted by one of her bastardly (bitter) girlfriends who’s pissed-off at the fact that MTV failed to chose her over big-boobied Melinda for Real World, Austin. Anyway, get ready for a wild ride in which you’ll see one of Melinda’s nippsies playing peek-a-boo!

Enjoy!

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