Category Archives: Babes

Jessica Alba's New Do

Did Jessica Alba lose a horrible bet or something?? Dude, rather than getting her bloody hair dyed dark, she went and chopped it off. Even though she’s still super hot & I wouldn’t mind a few nights by her side (with proper protection, of course), she just dropped major pointage in my ratings. When will girls realize that the short-blondie look is OUT! Shit, that was out like 2 years ago.

Jessica, buy a wig or something. If not a wig, at least do Playboy to compensate for the bad hair.

Melania Trump Showin’ Off The Married Nipple! Ow!

Melania_Trump_Duplex_207Photo Credit: Own the rights to these photos? Please contact us immediately.

Donald should really look over his woman before letting her step out the door. The two lovebirds are pictured below @ the opening of Donny’s new Veranda (Designer Penthouses For Pimps).

Props go to Melania Trump’s designer for making scandalous clothing that provide Donald easy nipple access in those ‘oh-so-boring’ limo rides.

Vanity Fair Oscar Party, ArrivalsPhoto Credit: FameFlynet Pictures

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Liz Hurley's New Beachwear Line

Liz Hurley with her Indian Billionaire-Boytoy, Arun Nayar, @ Harrods in London. She was busy showing off her new beachwear line.

First off, I love Liz Hurley not only because she’s absolutely beautiful, but b/c she’s sleeping w/ an Indian man. Yo go girl! More sexy models need to sleep with Indian men.

Now, let’s plug her newly released goods. In an interview w/ NY Times, Liz talks about the tough business of modeling beachwear.

I was so self-conscious then. It took me six years to be comfortable modeling a swimsuit. Now modeling is kind of like eating apples. It’s not splitting the atom, you know? [NY Times]

The Mandy Moore Hottness Theory; Japan Coach Ads

Mandy Moore is tip-top booty-real-estate at the moment. I don’t know why guys aren’t clamoring all over her b/c she has long-term hotness written all over her. The Mandy Moore Hotness Theory is very simple & even more superficial.

Let’s take Britney Spears for example. We all know that she was once hot, but now (unfortunately), even though she’s still super young, Britney has become complacent in all aspects of her life. This complacency has led to the extra baggage, the acne, the bad hair, & of course, gluttony! On the other side of the Planet Hotness we have Ms. Mandy Moore.

God have mercy.

Her level of success has stayed steady, the paparazzi have left her ass alone & she pretty much leads the life she wants to live. It is this lifestyle that contributes to Mandy’s stress-free look & long-term hotness.

Just look at these ads Mandy did for Coach’s spring 2005 Japan ad campaign. Aaah…Mandy is so refreshingly hot that it’s not even funny.

[Props to Mandy Media for the photos]

Japanese Hottie @ Coach's Tokyo Press Conference

Japanese Hottie @ Coach Press Conference

Oh my god! She has a nose, eyes & solid lips!! Rock on!

I know I’m gonna get shit for this, but I’ll come out and say it any way. Most Japanese chicks don’t turn me on. My apologies go out to all Japanese hotties who’ve (unfortunately) found this post. But, my friends, that’s only my initial reaction to these super quiet, sexual beasts (a.k.a. Japanese Chicks). Even though they’re all mostly featureless when it comes to the bod-department, I gotta say, I’ve met some ultra-freaky Japanese chicks.

There was this one chick in college that had a new hicky every day of the week—I don’t know whether it was a freaky boyfriend issue or what, but multiple hickies in a single week automatically throws you in the ‘I’m-freaky-in-bed’ category. So yeah, I guess you can’t have it all, right? Their crazy, animal-style rage in bed compensates for their lack of boobies, voluptuous asses & facial characteristics. But, is the trade off worth it? Tough call…

Ok, now that my Japanese Girl Theory is out, let’s talk about this hottie pictured above! Oh man. Anyone (possibly Varian?) know this chick? She’s got that elusive hot girl look on her face & I’m really diggin’ it. It might be b/c she’s standing really close to Mandy Moore & Mandy’s hotness-vibes are carrying over on to her. Regardless of whether she’s super hot in person or not, I wouldn’t mind eating sushi off that bod. Ow!

Here are a few more photos of this chick & from the press conference.

Eva Longoria Does Classic Porn Pose For L'Oreal

What does Eva want?!

I’ve always been the ugly duckling in my family, so now to have L’Oreal select me as a spokesperson is a wonderful honor. L’Oreal is one of the few companies that really reflect my values. Their company philosophy and their legendary phrase, “Because I’m Worth It,” go hand in hand with who I am as a person. It’s exciting to be a part of such a diverse group of spokespeople, from all-American Heather Locklear to African-American Beyonce, and now me, a Latina. This is it, the best, the culmination of an amazing year. [The Cosmetic Site]

Congrats to Eva! Although we don’t mind, let’s hope Eva does better, non-pornographic poses for L’Oreal in the future.

The Sexy Bitches In Jeans. Yummy!

The only thing better than a hot girl wearing nothing is a hot girl wearing some tight fitting jeans. As I walk through various airports, malls & yuppy shopping locales, I always wonder how long some girls must spend to get their sexay boooties into their ultra-tight jeans. I know you guys (& gals) know what I’m talkin’ about…

Ok, enough of what I like, already. Let’s browse through a few photos & see what you horny people dig.

Eva Mendes – Hates Spiders. Loves To Drive Men Craaaayzee.

I know a lot of you people were hating on Eva the last time we showed off her hottness, so we’ll try again.

Also, since we follow the career of another Eva (the Longoria version), check out this competition between on the two Evas conducted by The Fly Hive.

Those of you horny bastards lookin’ for Eva, make sure you watch her on the big screen. Hitch, also starring Will Smith, is about to break the $300mil mark, so you can bet your ass that we’ll be seeing more of this bombshell. I’m waiting for the DVD.

Now, let’s cut the bullshit & get to the photos!

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